Amish in the City

Oh, it's good!  Always fascinated by the whole Amish coming of age rite called Ramsphringa (sp?) Amish in the City was right up my horse and buggy.  Both HBO and PBS have done amazing documentaries on the process.  When an Amish kid turns 17 or 18 they are allowed to leave the Amish lifestyle and live like everyone else, to experience the horrors of the world outside their community.  Apparently over 90% of those that leave, return to the Amish lifestyle within a couple years and are baptised into the community for life.  Basically the culture shock of the real world sends these kids back into the arms of their families.  If they choose to live outside in the real world, they are not allowed to ever speak to their families or friends again.  It's a hard decision to make, I am sure.  In the documentaries I've seen, some kids turn into drug addicts and sellers, they get in trouble with the law... A lifestyle of excess.

So, this is the true story (the true story) of 5 Amish kids that are sent to live in a Hollywood Hills Mansion and have their lives taped to see what happens when Amish kids stop being Amish and start being real... crazy.  The 5 Amish on Ramspringa are sent to live with 6 "citydwellers."  They basically got the most vapid and evil people they could cast to live with the Amish.

I wont bore with details, but I will say that the black girl Whitney is almost like the Amish. She grew up in South Central LA but is experiencing half of the things the Amish kids are experiencing for the first time.  Its incredible and humbling to see these 5 Amish kids discover what we take for granted.  Most of all the ocean.  To see 2 of the Amish cry when brought to the ocean is gut wrenching.  Its that pure and breath-taking for these folks that it brings them to tears.  I know that I personally am so jaded and exposed to everything that there is not much in this world that could awe inspire me enough to bring tears at first sight.  And that is sad. 

Amish in the City is a summer keeper!
__________________

My friend Matt loved it but had this to add: "I think they cast this show in 10 minutes. "

DNC Quickly

I flip over to the convention and the floor is full of delegates chanting for Osama... and carrying signs for him? What the hell? Turns out there is a Senator to be from Illinois named Obama. O BBBBB AMA. Got it!

Joe Schmo 2 7.26.04

The best episode ever. EVER!

This show gets better and better each week. At times last night I seriously couldnt see the screen through the tears streaming down my face with laughter. When Cammy asked Austin if he actually did in fact heed Eleanor's request the week before... "So, did you shove Eleanor's necklace up your ass" I almost threw up. It was fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunny!

Six Feet Under 7.26.04

Why is Claire doing an unknown drug? Why is Russell in her house and why hasnt he shaved that moustache yet? Why is Jenni Garth's husband having a threesome with the girl that looks like the stuttering chick from Niagara, Niagara who is also a witch because I saw her in The Craft? Why is Claire acting retarded (yet humorous)?

A good episode, emotional weight on David. When he confesses the whole tortorous ordeal of the prior week to Claire, it breaks your heart. Then in breaking heart mode... Poor Nate is forced back into the business to releave David of duties, then fucked up Brenda comes over claiming she cant change and kisses Nate.

Again I ask, is everyday above ground a good one for these characters? God Damn their lives suck ass.

Monday Views

Road Rules Extreme is turning into an extreme case of cry-babies. They lost another mission tonight so they have to now vote off a castmember. Instead of being selfish they decide to put all their names in a hat and let lady luck have her wicked way with them. I'm sorry but if I was there that bitch Jodi would be goooooooone before my name randomly went into a hat. Hells No!

DNC-Primetime - I just cast my vote for Bill Clinton. If that man ran again today, I would vote for him a third time. He is just incredible to watch. An amazing speaker, an incredible presence on stage, and loved by all. Hell at one point Chris Matthews even got 3 female Senators to say Clinton was "good for women" while in office! This man is Political Scotchguard! I love him. Is there a fill in the blank section on the ballot?

Bands Reunited 2

This just in...

In its second go-round, "Bands Reunited" will attempt to track down the lost members of New Kids On The Block, The English Beat, The Motels, ABC and Haircut 100 to get back together for a one-night only performance.

Entourage 7.22.04

Why not give a new HBO show a try, eh? Well my sentiments to this show are, EH? It's not that bad. It's not that good. Just what exactly are we supposed to feel for this hapless bunch of loafers and a vacant star? Adrian Grenier is the "star" that apparently isnt very bright or committed to working for stardom. His best friend acts like his agent before his real agent (that is played by Jeremy Piven, whom I love). Then there is his tag along older, not so good looking (I'm a Dillon, Kevin) brother that lives with him, is part of his entourage, and desperate for some kind of celebrity himself. Then there is Turtle, his chubby body-guard/sex-deprived friend that also loafs off Grenier's celebrity because he has no life of his own. There is no character you "feel" for. There is so far no storyline past "how far can you bring your friends along before they start bringing you down".
I think we are supposed to concentrate on the best friend that acts as agent because he is the most "grounded" and knowing of the Hollywood machine and its trappings. Who really cares? We know celebrities are vacant and useless, do we need 30 minutes of supposed comedy to establish that fact?

Best moment(s): Piven and a thirty second stint from Ali Larter as a bitchy/drunk/scorned lover who I think is supposed to be herself (I think).

Amazing Race 5 7.20.04

First I was rooting for Dennis & Erika. Philiminated.
Then I was rooting for Alison & Donny. Philiminated.
Next was Army Dad and Marsha. Philiminated.

See a trend here folks? I have decided that next I am rooting for Chip and his non-existent-I-have-no-personality-and-don�t-speak wife. According to the pattern that has developed, they will be gone next week! And not a week too soon. I despise this big dorky man. He just really, truly is a D&D, magic playing doooooork.

Charla, the midget should be philiminated for using her height to her advantage (as brilliant as it is).

Most genius moment of the night, the brothers drive by Mirna & Charla and scream �BITCH� out the window! Brilliance.

Six Feet Under 7.18.04

How do you make a show about death even more morbid and horrible? Torture a gay funeral director that's how! Jesus Christ. Totally out of the blue, the seemingly normal and always morose episode of SFU went crazy ass and had David being carjacked, robbed, drugged, beaten, bloody, and doused with gasoline before the hour was up. One minute Brenda was telling her cunty mother she hated her new hair and the next David was sucking on the barrel of a gun. Whats-a-my-what?

Regardless of how odd the turn of events and shift in story was, this storyline was gut-wrenching, intense, anxiety inducing, sickening and ultimately very sad. It was a story that we all predicted, or so we thought. David picks up cute hitchiker. Cute hitchiker is a little ditsy and naive. David has fantasy about cute hitchiker while driving. Sure, we all thought they would end up asses to asses on the van floor but noone, not one viewer could have predicted the tonal change and horrible direction their relationship would take. It was mutilation and pure torture. I cannot imagine how this storyline will play out. Will it force David into monogamy? Will it force Keith to kill someone finally? Will it force David away from Keith to a more stable and trusting relationship (my vote) or will it draw them together?

This clan of Fisher kids is so self destructive and self-loathing that nothing good can come from it... can it?

The slogan of this season is: "Everyday above ground is a good one"

But is it?

Monday Viewings

MTV2's Not A Good Look 2 - It's all of the VH1 commentary folks mixed in with some unknown comics and some of the Last Comic Standing rejects. They all sit in groups watching videos and red carpet appearances and rip everyone apart. The brilliance of this show is that each person is trying to out do each other with jabs and witty banter. It's a rare glimpse at comedy-battling and appreciation.

Road Rules Extreme got a new gay boy. This one is more athletic and butch. I hope he kicks some ass. Their task this evening was the basically be attacked, mauled, and chased by trained attack/killer dogs. A little nerve racking I can imagine. HELLLLLLO!

Joe Schmo 2 7.19.04

Again, JS2 delivers comedy unparalled by any other show on TV right now. The actors and producers of this show deserve some kind of award for absurdity and comedic timing. The hoax is getting deeper and deeper for our Joe and Jane Schmo. Indrid, ex-Schmo turned actor was brought back in after the whoopsy eviction last week when Austin thought she made up her grandfather's death. It was revealed that Austin and Piper dated for 4 years prior to the show. It was revealed that Bryce's frog was eaten by Montacore the falcon. It was revealed that Amanda (Jane) and Time (Joe) are the perfect contestants for this show because they truly believe this is a real show and are developing real relationships with the other cast members and Austin/Piper.

Tonight there were 2 real dolls, Eleanor had more waterworks, there was another fly by banner and there was genius in the works.

Quote of the night by Eleanor on her refusal of Austin's pearl necklace: "You can take your pearl necklace and half-hearted locket and shove them up your ass!"

With Eleanor's empowered exit, it may have just drawn Tim and Amanda deeper into the "reality" of the show, making up for the over the top hijinks normally occuring. I can only dream what will come next. If you are not watching this show, you are an ass. Get on the bandwagon and how!

Weekend Views

Somehow this weekend I watched more South Park than I have since its first season on the air. Actually its the first time I've seen more than one episode of a season since the first and second seasons. Comedy Central ran the 25 most outragous episodes. I didnt see them all, but I did catch maybe 8 of them and I am here to tell you that I completely forgot how out loud funny South Park was/is. #4 was Mr. Hanky's Christmas Special and it actually made me feel sad and out of touch because that was at the height of my SP obsession days and those are no longer. I will also say that the hands down funniest thing that show has done since Mr. Hanky is Timmy... TIMMY! He never gets out. The episode with Timmy and Jimmy joining the Crips because they think its a club for cripples from both birth and accidents is genius! I am once again a devotee.

Degrassi TNG was much watched again. I love The N and I am not ashamed to say it.

I am sad to announce that I missed the second outing of The 4400. If you read the previous post on the show, I was into it. I will see if they reair because I need to see what happens to that evil little devil girl from the future but from the past...

Degrassi TNG 7.16.04

So many exciting things about Degrassi!

2 Important dates to remember:
Sept. 25th - TNG cast members will be at the Natick Mall!
Oct. 1st -4th Season of TNG premieres on The N

Tonights Episode:
This episode exemplifies why this show reigns supreme in both teen programming and Degrassi legacy. The mixing of the old and the new. In tonights episode, Emma gets into a cat-fight, knees some whore in the face and slams her against some lockers a couple times! All because the girl pushed her too far when she was worried about her father, Archibald "Snake" Simpson's last chemo treatment. Snake for those of you not in the know was an original cast member of Degrassi Jr. High and then High in the 80's. He is now married to Christine "Spike" Nelson from Degrassi Jr. and High. Spike's daughter that she became pregnant with during Degrassi Jr. High is Emma. Emma's real father, Shane tried to kill himself during Degrassi High and is now in a mental institution (and currently played by the guy who plays Gerald, the gotta be gay guy on Joe Schmo 2). Long story short, Emma has kind of been the main character of TNG during the first year and a half. The focus always changes from kid to kid, but because her parents are original cast members, she remains a main focus and emotional center for the show. And tonights episode blended the old and new generations of Degrassi kids seemlessly and with incredible sensativity. I almost got teary eyed when Snake found out he is in remission.
The other storyline tonight revolved around Ashley, Spinner and my favorite diva, Paige. Paige is the penultimate cool chick that says what she wants, and gets even more. Her favorite word is "Hon" and she enjoys being the school gossip. One of her oldest friends, though growing apart as High School progresses, is Ashley. Ash has been down in the dumps since the breakup with Craig and her subsuquent revenge 2 weeks ago (and my newest fashion statement). Spin and Paige skip school, and take Ash out for the day. They play mini-golf, dine and dash, catch a flick... Ash tells them she plans on leaving Degrassi next year but by episodes end, the ever genius Paige helps brighten her spirits and take a new look at life and Degrassi. I think that bitch is here to stay. I am obsessed!

PS- Jon and I rented more original Degrassi tonight . We got the first episode of Degrassi High. In the past we got the Jr. High eps from the library. Thank goodness WGBH is in Boston. We can somehow make our way through a couple seasons of a 15 year old show.

Fall Excitement?

The only shows I can say that I am even remotely interested in this fall are Desperate Housewives and Lost. 
Desperate Housewives because it has crazy Kimberly who recently departed the small Colorado town of Everwood because of a scandal.  She has moved into the creepy town inhabiting these wives and may do one of two things... kill everyone in the town or at least blow a building or two up before peeling back her wig to reveal that scared head again.
Lost because its JJ Abrams new show and I love his creativity.  Plus Charlie Salinger from Party of Five is on it.

Amazing Race 5 7.13.04

Its sad, but I dont really have much to say about this weeks episode other than it rocked!  I am sad that Donny and Alison are gone, the constant bitching and bickering was brilliant television.  For more brilliance on the quarraling twosome, please click here....

I Love The 90's - 1990 & 1991

It's just too soon. I had my doubts and they've been confirmed. It's too damn soon for a nostalgic romp through the horrible 90's. Although, Hal Sparks is once again a genius and his rendition of Sinead O'Connors "Nothing Compares To You" is pure joy. Also, the LOTR kid dancing to Hammer was amusing. But all in all... TOO SOOOOOOOOOOON VH1.

Road Rules Extreme

Gay boy should have shoved that meat in his mouth faster a couple weeks ago. He's used to it. See ya! Why do the gays always get eliminated?

Still Standing 7.12.04

This is one of those CBS Fat-Ugly-Guy-Married-Hot-Chick shows. And the more I see it, the more I like it. The first one I ever saw involved an 80's dance and it was actually laugh out loud funny. Of course, its even better because Jamie Gertz is the hot mom and she is the quintessential 80's gal. Last night's episode was about their son's resistance to showering after gym class. Turns out he's embarassed because he's not like the other boys. The twist... He's large and in charge. Overdeveloped for his age. It was a funny episode because the boy was mortified by it and his Mom and Dad were very pleased and proud. By show's end, everyone in the family and their circle of friends knows their son is well endowed. This show is funny!

Rating: **** (out of 5)

The 4400

The thought of 4400 unaged and missing earthly inhabitants returning to this planet is creepers in its own right. The world has moved on and aged without them. Gives a whole new meaning to I went out to get a pack of cigarettes and never came back. Now add into the mix some developing superpowers, some nasty nosebleeds, and feelings of isolation and you have my youth! Kidding... about the isolation bit. There is a scary little premonitioning 8 year old that gives Samara from The Ring a run for her money. That witchy thing is just evil. I dont need 4 more installments of the mini-series to know that bitch is up to no good.

The acting is sub-par, but its entertaining. The Gay Baptist from Saved! is in it, he's in a coma, but he's in it. Worth a gander.

Rating: **~ (out of 5)

Degrassi TNG 7.9.04

"It's Raining Men"
Marco and Dylan go on a DATE!
In a much anticipated episode, femmy Marco finally gets up the gay nerve to go on a date with jocky Dylan. After a hysterical start to the date in which Marco has a hissy and jumps out of the car flailing around like a girl because there is a bee, the date seems to move in the right direction. At the movies, Marco agonizes over wanting to hold Dylans hand. Dylan just grabs his hand and tells him its okay. Dylan is so the perfect BF. After the movie, they run into Marco's uber-Italian parents and are forced to have dinner together. After a flaming waiter trampses by, Marco's dad makes some gay jokes and says its just disgusting Dylan excuses himself. Come Monday, Marco is sure the way out of the closet and 2 years older Dylan will want nothing to do with him. Big mistake gay boy. Dylan is all over you like seamen to a ship. Ah, they KISS! Canadian TV rocks! No teen drama would ever show a full on man on man kiss. Degrassi is always the trend-setter.

Manny The Man Stealer is back!
Returning to Degrassi after a short absence for an ABORTION, Manny sets foot back in the halls of DCS. Knowing everyone views her as the "school slut" she holds her head high and carries on. After all, her abortion is nothing like the shame dorky JT goes through when his hip-hop french fries commerical airs nationwide.

Rating: **** (out of 5)

XMC

Is there anything better than sexually dubbed english over groups of japanese men and women trying to kill themselves for money? This show always makes me laugh at the pain inflected on others as they try to dodge boulders, swing on a rope and try to stick to a wall at 20mph, and fold their bodies in half as they slide off an oversized course of rolling pins. The harder they fall, the better!

Big Brother 5

One word folks:

BANNED

In one of reality TV's most spiteful and mean-spirited ratings gimmicks, Big Brother has finally surpassed jumping the shark and straight into BANNEDLAND! Project DNA (Do Not Assume) consists of setting up two siblings that have no idea they are siblings. A cowboy and a geek are long-lost brother and sister set up by the show to be reunited even though neither of them knew they had each other. Horrible. HORRIBLE! The cowboy figures it out when the geek tells her last name and what her father does. After a couple (what could be seen as) innocent questions, the cowboy realizes that this geek girl is his sister. THEY HAVE THE SAME FATHER. Abandoned as a boy and left to live with his single parent mother, he only knew his fathers name and that he was in Vietnam and lost part of his foot. Through those before mentioned innocent questions, he gets her to reveal that her father was in Vietnam and lost half of his foot. SAME GUY. As he pokes and prods for questions, the geek reveals that her father told her that he never had any other children. So the father has denied having other children, denying this cowboys existence. So he keeps his mouth shut and doesnt tell the geek girl sister. Partly out of fear, partly out of strategy so that no one targets the two of them.

This is evil on so many levels. That CBS would manipulate these two is evil. That either of them should have to find out while confined and quarantined to a house full of jackasses for 3 months is evil. That cowboy should have to even consider not telling the new found sister of their connection because it may hurt him in the game IS EVIL. This sinks below The Swan in ratings hungry carelessness and absurdity. Fuck you Big Brother.

BANNED!

Everwood News!

Hot from TVGuide online. My bible...
"BAILEY RETURNS!: Party of Five alum Scott Wolf � he was that liar-thief-drunk Bailey � has joined the cast of WB's Everwood, Variety reports. He'll play a California doctor who takes over Dr. Abbott's old practice. "Dr. Abbott and Dr. Brown have gone into practice together, so Scott comes in as the new doctor across the street," explains exec producer Mickey Liddell. "He starts stealing clients from Abbott and Brown [because] he's the new, young doctor in town." It's those damn dimples, I tell ya."

Amazing Race 7.7.04

So if you are keeping track, I was rooting for Matt's two friends, Dennis and Erika. And if you watched the show last night you would realize now that I was rooting for LOOOOOOOOOSERS! Yeah, first ones Philiminated? Dennis and Erika. Gone. My next choice was originally whoo Donny and Alison refer to as "The Midget." No way am I continuing my pep for this duo from hell? The Midget is fine, but her Ukranian/I have and accent from nowhere cousin is a basketcase. Done. So, here is my break down of the teams and those I will now be rooting for until next week when they annoy or disappoint.

Alison & Donny - Thought I would hate them as they are a reality show cross over team. Alison was on BB4 last year and came in second place to the Margaret Cho-like June. Alison lied, cheated, stole, raped, and possibly murdered while on BB4 but still managed to come out alive. I was wishing death before the race but now I am kind of rooting for them. Donny is a schlump and an idiot for staying with big face bad skin Alison but lets face it folks... they are good TV.

Marshall & Lance - Two guys and a Pizza Place. I dont really care for these two pie-eaters as of yet. I like that there are no typical jock-types this year, but these two are a far cry from brothers Ken & Gerard or even the clows from last year. These two are lacking in the lovable fat guy arena.

Bowling Moms - I usually do not like the soccer mom types that come on the Amazing Race, but these two are actually really into the game and very motivated. They move because they know they have to. They want to win, not just be "moms" on a reality show. Not too bad. Did you see how fast these two came down that zipline? I thought I saw the tidal wave from The Day After Tomorrow coming at the screen.

Bob & Joyce - Internet Dating Couple. Enough said.

Charla & Mirna - The Midget and her cousin that has an accent like Madonna or Uma adopts at any given moment. I like Charla (midget) because she is strong and just goes goes goes. She also knows that people will help her because she is small and she is not affraid to exploit that! Why not? And that cousin? Trashy. She wanted to play a game of BlackJack while they were still IN THE RACE. Are you kidding me?

Brandon & Nicole - The Lord Will Guide Us... to last place. If the lord was looking over you Brandon, he would have told you to cut that Justin Guarini/Sideshow Bob haircut.

Colin & Christi - I just dont know about these two yet. They could be the Jon and Kelly of this year without the personality, humor, or drive. So basically they are nothing like Jon and Kelly. And rumor has it, Colin tripped Matt's friend Dennis at the start of the race. Whoops.

Chip & Kim - Jackasses that skipped the clue box and had to backtrack in order to get the clue.

Kami & Karli - Twin Jackasses that skipped the clue box and had to backtrack in order to get the clue. One of them has a tongue ring... is it 1997?

Jim & Marsha - So they start the race, we're running, we're running... we're falling on an old pier with rusty nails and in need of stitches and possible amputation. Are you kidding me? This poor guy takes a header and almost misses his flight because he has to get 23 stitches. Ugh. His daughter is fun and supportive. We'll see how long before illness kicks in and he is rushed to the hospital.

Dennis & Erika - You've got to be joking. I was rooting for them. Oh well.

5 Hours to Go! AMAZING!

My friend Matt in NYC just called to let me know that someone he knows is a team on this season's Amazing Race! Dennis and Erika. Dennis is from Rockland, Matt and Armando's hometown. Dennis and Erika also went to NYC with Matt. Matt was an RA with Erika. I am now rooting for Dennis and Erika along with the midget!

Death to Alison and Donny!

Joe Schmo 2 7.5.04

Jane Schmo becomes Actress! In a great twist on the producers part, they revealed the hoax to Jane Schmo Ingrid to which she replied something along the lines of "Thank the fuck God!" It was a great moment of revelation and a truly great step forward for this fake reality show. Joe Schmo Tim is still head over head for the fake bachelorette Piper and is much in belief of this game. In steps Jane Schmo #2 and its game on for Jane Schmo #1 as Ingrid the actress. Her first task, be the gossip and tell #2 all the scandal in the house. JS#2 immediately thinks Ingrid is a gossip and loves it! I hope Ingrid can keep up the act.

In a brilliant turn, its "Meet Piper's Parents" and bring on the lie detector. Each of the male contestants is interviewed by Piper's strict and scary father which has Joe Schmo Tim on the ropes. At dinner, the 4 men are supposed to work certain things into the dinner in order to avoid a "secret" being exposed. TJ has to kiss the mother. Tim has to work in the word cunilingis (sp?) into 3 sentences. It's a task that only the slimy TJ manages. The expose is genius as Tim's gay lap dance is shown, a picture of Gerald in drag surfaces, and everyone is shown a tape of Bryce trying to hypnotize Piper into loving him when he says the word "mockingbird." GENIUS! The lie detector is dragged out and Tim is the only one that is really tested. Gerald says that of the women in the house he finds Piper most attractive leading everyone to once again think Gerald is gay-gay-gay!

Bryce is kicked out and he throws a tantrum and starts screaming out "mockingbird" to which Tim almost steps in and removes Bryce personally. It is genius!!!

I love this damn show.

Rating: **** (out of 5)

Degrassi: TNG 7.2.04

One of the best shows ever!