Everwood 11.29.04

Everwood
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

Ephram Brown, you are an idiot. For a teen male that normally is so self aware and respecting you just fucked up. Amy is a mess because her best friend may have this degenerative brain disease but refuses to get tested and she comes to you for solace and you mistake her being upset about Hannah's possible brain freeze for her knowing you lied. Then on top of that, you tell her the truth? IDIOT! Not the time Ephram Brown, not the time.

Hannah's reveal of her background and what brought her to Everwood was incredibly touching and finally solidified her and Amy as actual friends. Before this, we were kind of force fed this friendship out of need, but now it makes sense.

Crazy Heche, watch you ass. That husband may be comatose in that wheelchair but he knows the lies your lips live. Kissing Dr. Brown in the house you keep with Invalid and Son is not kosher. Dr. Brown should know, he's jewish!

Amy and Dr. Jake in the library was so good. "A Library just seemed so Everwood!"

Desperate Housewives 11.28.04

Desperate Housewives
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

"I have faith in the poor..."

Wow, that Bree is one twisted woman and I loves it! She is so crazed about perfection and image, she is so set in what is morally correct and what is not even if it's a bit askew (see: cover up of son's hit and run). She is the best character on this show.

Now, in the mystery department, I knew Susan was not going to get whacked. But for a minute there I though just maybe Felicity Huffman's character was a goner and it would have been great if she did off herself after seeing visions of Mary Alice with a gun. Damn that would have been spooky.

So, old Ms. Huber is D-E-A-D! About time, that Ms. Kravitz wannabe was too nosey for her own good. Huber, honey... This is not 1950, you cannot be so nosey and demanding. Blackmailing Mary Alice for no good reason other than she knew she had a guilty conscience. And what is with that DANA baby stuff? The whole mystery revolves around that Dana. Who, What, When, Where, Why and How you Desperate Housewives...

My Amazing Race Thanksgiving!

My Amazing Race Thanksgiving!
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

Amazing Race 6 11.23.04

Amazing Race 6
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

Boy, that Jonathan is still a cunt, eh? Christ, last season I was sure that there was not a meaner person on television than Colin, but immature and idiotic Jonathan takes the cake. I said I always thought Colin might be capable of hitting Christi, but after watching tonight, I know that Jonathan beats Botox down on a regular basis. He is a fucking scumbag that I hope Bolo beats the shit out of before the race is over.

And who picks a teammate for the race that cannot drive stick either? One of your douchebags needs to know how to drive the car before signing up for the race. You took someone worhtwhile's spot in casting. Thank god your stupid selves got eliminated. They aren't cool enough to get Philiminated.

Arrested Development 11.21.04

Arrested Development 11.14.04
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

Jimmy: "Jimmy Parmesan"

Lucille: "AAAHHHHHHH!"

Every single time, it was like peek-a-boo with a toddler. Each time Jimmy Parmesan was in disguise and he popped up, Lucille would scream with exciement, surprise and laughter. It honestly made me cry at the end because I couldn't deal with the repetition and childish antic. It was hysterical.

Poor Ann/Egg. That girl gets no respect. Michael leaves her on a dirt bench in Mexico. That is so wrong.

Again, this show proves it's weight in Emmy shiny goodness. The best comedy on television.

Everwood 11.22.04

Everwood
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

Exchange of the night (well inner thoughts of the night):

Amy: "He's blocking his lips, he doesn't want me to kiss him, God, body language is so telling, PEOPLE Magazine is so right about that stuff."

Ephram: "That girl looks so much like Jennifer Lopez. I wonder if they are related?"

Amy: "I wonder if my Dad would get a subscription if I asked? Probably,"


Tonight was about too much knowledge and where to draw the line with parenting and information. Dr. Brown knew Ephram was going to the mountains to spend the night alone with Amy so they could have sex. He was reluctant to let go again given what happened last time Ephram had sex, but he did. He put his trust in his son and let him go. Dr. Abbott (in one of the most subtle and emotionally honest scenes this season) realizes that Amy is not asking to stay at Hannah's for a sleep over, but that she will be out with Ephram (but where?). Both father's handled it to their emotional capacities without ruining the trust and bonds they've developed with their children. It was a sweet episode.

According to my onscreen guide, next week is the return of Madison though they did not ellude to that in the previews! Oh bring on the pregnancy issue!

Desperate Housewives

Desperate Housewives
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

Just as I was worrying that this show was going to become too cutsie and quirky, almost a characture of itself it brings round the dark evil that this show began as.

Bree's son runs over Mama Soliz and Gaby unconcerned barely helps her. Then Bree and her estranged and I am sure gay husband Rex cover it up. Wow. It was dramatic and brought the show into a darker place that I was glad to see.

Also, hello. Edie needs to watch her ass. Dead.

The OC 11.18.04

The OC
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

Seth Cohen remains a god. I hold to this fact and here is evidence:

Seth: "My god she is right. No dude, here I am going on and on about my haircut and my grandfather is in the cooler. I'm like a monster, dude. I'm all I think about and not in a good way..."

Ryan: "There is a good way?"

______________________

Seth: World, wrap your head around the new Seth Cohen!"

Ryan: "You're talking about yourself in the third person."

Seth: "How is Seth's hair right now?"

_____________________

Seth: I'm back Ryan, Cohen Classis. Red, White, and Me!"

_____________________

There were some other doosies tonight. When Caleb announced that Julie Cooper would take over the company as CEO instead of his trusted daughter, Julie asks: "Who needs more champaign?" It was an inspired moment. Julie Cooper is pure evil and I love every second of it.

Lest we forget eyebrows Sandy Cohen's go-get-em line: "Face it Caleb, it's time to get your Martha Stewart on!"

I love how The OC is so self aware of its standing with its fans and within pop culture. It constantly is self refrencing and mocks itself at every chance. In a smart, it only makes the show better way. A stellar season so far and it looks like the return of Chrismakkuh will be a hum-dinger as well. That new girl makes Ryan a YarmulClaus, a cross between a yarmulke and a santa's hat. Genius.

Lost 11.17.04

Lost
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

So this French castaway looks really good for having been stranded alone on this island for 16 years. She's crazier than a shithouse rat, but looking pretty good. For a minute I was sure it was going to be Sydney Bristow's Mom (Alias) but nope.

So lets go over the clues from last night's episode:

- She was part of a scientist research team that ran ashore 16 years ago with some men.

- All of the men were killed by Frenchie within two months of being stranded.

- All of them were ill, that is why she killed them.

- She has a son named Alex that is more than likely alive and still on the island.

- There are whispers in the jungle, she warned Sayid. He thought she was crazy, but then he heard them.

- Not everyone on the island knows everything about what has happened on the island (Michael didn't know about the polar bear).

- One of the two new castaways featured, I think it's Ethan has a rash which Jack seems to think is just hives. I seem to think it's whatever illness Frenchie warned Sayid to look out for.

- There's no such thing as monsters.

I still have no clue what is going on with this show but I still find it quite enjoyable. Locke is still the man!

Amazing Race 6 (Post Premiere Review)

Amazing Race 6
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

First off, let's start off by saying that any fuckbag that is like 40 and has blue hair is a douchebag. Could he be more of a cry for attention? I hate him and if his plane crashes on the next leg of the trip it would not bother me in the least. I would not mourn, I would not shed a tear. I would fucking jump up and down with excitement. He's a Colin wannabe without the body, looks, or good teeth. With that said...

This premiere had some of the best lines in reality show history. The old lady (Mary Jane) is a one liner machine. Here are her best lines:
- "I don't care if we die when we get there..."
- "If we're lost again I am going to jump off a bridge"

Her husband pulled a couple out as well:
- "They're all ripped. The whole town is trashed!"
- "I'd rather put that ice in a martini."

Here are some of the other fine lines of the evening:

- "Follow that tuckus!" (Brooklyn)
- "LET'S FOCUSSSS" (Bluehair's browbeaten wife)
- "She's got a mouth on her..." (Hayden about Meathead's wife)

And the line of the night:

- "The silicone in my implants are frozen!" (Meathead's Wife)


Genius moment of the night? When my team's hottie Aaron waved the girls from Queens in the opposite direction of the clue and those stupid bitches drove an hour and a half out of the way following the crowd. Genius!

Oh and why does Diesel gas screw a team every season? Jackasses.

Amazing Race 6 (Premiere's Tonight!)

Amazing Race 6
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

So, as of this moment I have no favorites for this new season, TAR6. I will say that Hayden is hot business but that just means he'll be weak like little John was on Survivor Vanuatu.

All I know is, meathead couple/professional wrestlers of which one wears a "du-rag" need to be philiminated immediately for bad taste.

Let the race begin!


Okay, so i just started watching the opening of the show and WHOOPS, Hayden is a girl. So I guess I mean that Aaron is hot business. She's eh...

Everwood 11.15.04

Everwood 11.1.04
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

I've got to say... Anne Heche's hair is looking amazing. That fresh Colorado mountain air must be doing wonders on her folicles. Either that or the aliens graced her with fine silks from other planets. Oh Celestia, how I love you so.

Still Standing 11.15.04

Still Standing 11.15.04
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

Tonight, it's all about Jami Gertz. She has grown into this character of Judy on "Still Standing." I think in the first year they were afraid to make the parents too vicious and just plain dispicable, but this year they are embracing Gertz's inner Muffy (from "Square Pegs"). Here is a blurb from tonight's episode in which Judy is talking to her husband Bill about her horrible day with Bill's Mother (Sally Struthers) and her "Red Hat Society" friends. It's pure sarcasm and loathing:

Judy: It was just supposed to be a mixer but somehow Louise forgot they were going to the theatre today to see "Menopause: The Musical"

Bill: That's really a show?

Judy: No, but that didn't stop them from puttin' it on anyway. After that we had to go for coffee and cake and three hours later after we paid our 11 separate checks I was going to take 'em all home but Iris forgot her purse so we had to go ALL the way back. But, it turns out she was sittin' on it the whole time... Boy, did we have a laugh!

It was her moment to shine, I love this show!

Arrested Development 11.14.04

Arrested Development 11.14.04
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

Tobias is still holding on to the whole Blue Man Group persona and it couldn't be funnier. When he drove by on the side of that utility truck as Lindsay stepped out of a cab to find a "date" I almost peed myself.

Lindsay doesn't realize that Homeless Thomas Jane is only acting as homeless for a role so she gets him a construction job to flaunt off her "conquest"... Genius!

Tobias wearing $400 worth of diamond dust skin lotion as a disguise making his nipples bleed and his lungs stop working... Brilliance!

This show continues to be the best scripted comedy on television. There were so many good moments in this episode that I just couldn't deal.

That poor girl that plays George Michael's object of affection, she is ridiculed, called a boy and just degraded and it couldn't be funnier. God bless homely teen girls and the men that make fun of her.

Cold Case 11.14.04

Cold Case
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

"It's Raining Men" was the title of tonights 80's era cold case of AIDS paranoia and "outing." An excellent episode that revealed many things:

- The macho partner to Lily had a gay brother that died of AIDS. It's some depth to this otherwise gruff character. He showed interesting thoroughness in his investigation and a drive that was not present in previous cases. It was a great departure from his at times wooden character.

- Lily has balls. When she just took the "I experimented and am ashamed so I killed my gay activist brother because he is everything I hate about myself" brother in her hand and led him to that window, my girl is fearless. He's a killer. Granted a one time out of fear killer, but still a killer. Lily don't care. Loves her.

- CBS pushes the gay lifestyle and a little bit of history further along in one episode of "Cold Case" than NBC does with six years of "Will & Grace." CBS is still viewed as the old lady network on Sunday nights and it's great to see that they trust their audiences intelligence enough to air such a good episode regardless of content.

This show is great but was there no other song to title this episode after? It's like some executive at CBS said, "OK, their gay, what is song soooo gay and instantly recognizable? Right! 'It's Raining Men' Perfect, run with it!

Scott Peterson Verdict

So, I was watching CourtTV for the Scott Peterson verdict just a few minutes ago (which was Guilt in 1st and 2nd degree murder counts in case you live in a cave) because I am a fan of spectacle. That in mind, the most disgusting thing about this broadcast was the sorry lot that gathered outside the courtroom by thousands. It's your standard mixed bag of middle agers, old folks, and then some pre-tweens. It was odd.

Everyone has gathered for the reading of the verdict which in essence is a somber and sad situation anyway you look at it. If you believe he's guilty it's sad because it was such a horrible murder and one that touched America. If you were under the impression that he was not guilty, then it was a somber day because he possibly could go to prison or face the death penalty. How ever you spin it, somber.

Now, here is the scene before the verdict is announced: People waving like they are at the Today Show, people on cell phones, people chatting amongst themselves as others mouth "Hi Mom" to the camera and try to catch a glimpse of themselves in the television monitor. The audio of the courtroom begins and people settle outside.

The verdict: The second "guilty" comes out of the foreperson's mouth the crowd erupts like it's New Years Eve. People start jumping up and down and hugging and thanking god. A little extreme. Then, they continue in the courtroom... 1st degree murder... The crowd starts pointing their index fingers into the air as if at the World Series and the Red Sox just won. More jumping, some chanting...

I don't care what the verdict is, this was a sick horrible display to watch. The morbidity of this crowd and their bloodlust for revenge. That my friends is funny when you think about it. Everyone is there because a woman was killed and now a man has been found guilty and will more than likely be facing the death penalty and the crowd has risen to their feet Super Bowl style. It was a gross spectacle.

Survivor 11.11.04

Survivor
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

Finally, those women are kicking some ass! This is one of those shows where for some reason, my adrenaline gets all amped up and I get really nervous and tense before tribal council... yeah, and I aint on the show. I know.

But tonight I have to tell you, these women creamed these men and could they BE more sad losers? I mean, Peg Leg there get's all pissy if any girl does anything better than him! I wonder if he's just grumpy because his phantom leg is itching, predicting the Vanuatu weather from day to day.

Ami is my girl. She's smart, she's running the show, and she works at Starbucks. Who puts "Barista" as their profession. Honey, put that you are a freelance something or other. And she's sooooooo lesbian Starbucks, ya know? She's THAT Barista behind the counter. The one that upsells you on every order and the one that know's your drink and has it ordered before you get to the register. My girl, Ami! Win this thing and you can buy a Starbucks franchise for yourself. Death to the men (how lesbian is that?)

The O.C. 11.11.04

The O.C.
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

Okay, so I know that every site you read is talking about how homocentric Seth and Ryan's relationship has become... but dang girl, it's true. It's so hot too. I mean, a brooding wife beater wearing semi-mute stud and the lovable emo eccentric getting together? It's my childhood wet dream. Good god, this is good television. Look at that picture of them (left), (cue Nicole Richie:) "That's Hot!"

Now, throw into the mix the new comic book geek that gets Seth's heart a flutter and it's a gang bang porno come true! Seriously, what's with the lack of gays in Orange County? Seems wrong. I've been there, well I ate lunch at a really good vegetarian restaurant there once, but I know there has to be at least one queerbag in that town and how come he's not like BFF's with Summer? Hello, she is so fag hag worthy.

I am glad that it seems like they are not going to nicely wrap everyone's relationships back up this year, hooking them all up 90210 style. I think it will be really interesting to explore where their characters can go with actual goals. I mean, I was watching and thinking, god they never talk about Ryan and his passions (other than brooding) and HELLO, they touch on it.

And I am so not a fan of that Lawn Boy Marisa is schtooping. Too chiseled and hard. I will take soft Ryan and scrawny Seth anyday! Wait, are we still talking about them? Damn That's Hot!

Monday 11.8.04

Still Standing (CBS)
I honestly do love this show. It continues to make me laugh outloud at least a couple times a week and I am just plain in love with Jamie Gertz, god bless Star, Muffy, or whatever character she's playing. This week was try to kill the youngest child week. First, the Bill (the dad) gives her the slip as she's running at him in efforts of giving him a big hug and she takes a header into the livingroom coffee table. Then later, her Aunt Linda pushes her face first into the stairwell (which I hit "Instant Replay" on Tivo like 10 times for). I love watching kids get hurt for my comedic pleasure.

Series 7 (IFC)
This is one of my favorite satires. A social commentary on America's obsession with reality tv and violence combined! A government sanctioned reality game show where 5 contestants must hunt and kill each other in hopes of staying alive and making it through 3 seasons worth of shows without dying. If they can survive three series, they are free. I know, it sounds scary and brutal but it's not... its funny! Like brilliant funny. I have the dvd and think that at some point I've made almost every person I know sit down and watch it.

RW/RR Battle of the Sexes 2

RW/RR Battle of the Sexes 2
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

The word of the night?

"Grimy"

My girl Tina (one of my all time favorites. She's tough and she will beat your sissy ass down then fuck it. She's that kind of girl) has now made "Grimy" the new "triflin'."

Tina: "That was a bullshit call and those three bitches need to get a realization because that's fucking bullshit! They wanna play the game grimy, we'll play the game grimy!"

Tina: "There's a grimy underground tune that's going on right now. I feel it and I don't like it one bit!"

Genius.

Everwood 11.1.04

Everwood 11.1.04
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

Sometimes this show shines like no other... Here is the best exchange of the night (between Edna and her Boss, Dr. Dimples - Scott Wolf):

Edna: "Ephram Brown is dating Amy Abbott, who is the daughter of Dr. Harold Abbott, who happens to be my son, which makes her my grandaughter."

Dimples: "...wow. It's like a Greek play."


There are rumors online that I seriously never even considered. Rumor has it that Dr. Dimples is so in awe of Dr. Brown (Treat Williams) because he is his long lost son. Oh My Gawd! I love it, it makes Dr. Brown's whole "my son's college girlfriend is pregnant and I will pay for her to disappear so my son has a chance at becoming the genius he's meant to be" situation have so much weight because if this is the case, his parents did the same to him. Nice!

Desperate Housewives 10.30.04

Desperate Housewives
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

It's Halloween and the scariest thing around is not the ghost or ghoul at your doorstep it's Zachary, the son of Mary Alice that offed herself in the series premiere of "Desperate Housewives."

The whole episode, you feel so bad for this kid. His mother has killed herself, his father is hiding some incredible secrets and seems to have a distancing problem, and let's face it, those glasses he wears aren't exactly stylish. You feel for the kid.

Tonight he is sadly sitting alone in his livingroom numbly scrubbing the varnish off the spot where his mother shot herself. At dinner with Bree, he tells her that he has a secret and that is why his mother killed herself. The following day, Bree invites him over again for a pre-holiday meal run through ("in case the cookbook got it wrong") but bails on him at the last minute. He then breaks into her house and we discover later that he has decorated the inside of her house with a christmas tree (that he fresh cut from Bree's lawn) and as many lights as the Griswald family. It almost made me cry because of the despair and loneliness in his actions. You feel for this kid, no?

His father takes him home (out of police custody) and Bree is standing outside their front door listening to the father and son scream at each other when a loud crash is heard. Bree rings the doorbell and Zach opens the door a crack and eerily say's that everything is fine. He closes the door and the camera pans over to the Dad trying to get up from the floor, his lip all bloodied!

OH NO THIS KID BEAT HIS FATHER INTO SUBMISSION! Zach done gone crazy. Oh this is getting good.

The second scariest person of the night? Mama Soliz. Damn with the noise those knitting needles made as they clinked together. Watch your hot little latina ass Gabrielle.

This show continues to deliver, not letting me down one bit as it enters it's sixth week. Bree (Marcia Cross) continues to shine as the tightly wound Ms. Fix It of Wisteria Lane. Teri Hatcher (Susan) has finally landed in a show that is worthwhile and it is making me like her more and more each week. When she told that John on the corner that she was "On Break" I almost lost my mind. It was too funny. Lynette (Felicity Huffman) is so far the weakest story. She is great fun and those kids are complete terrors but where is this going? Gabrielle better watch her ass and that hot (and titty) young gardener need not be messing around when Ms. Soliz is in town, that old bag offed her husband, a tween aint no problem in her eyes.

Amazing.