So You Think You Can Dance
Competition Show (Part 1 of 2)
July 19, 2006

If you saw how many notes I wrote for this episode, you'd think I was a war correspondent for CNN instead of a TV Blogger watching a dance show. It's insane how much they jammed into a 2 hour show. I was worn out and dizzy by the end so imagine how spent those 10 kids were. And when I say kids, that includes Jailbait Ivan GMMR so get those thoughts out of your head. Uh-huh, don't play.

For all those non-Cat Deely lovers out there, you must have been won over last night, no? She had sultry curly blonde locks, legs for miles, a smile that could melt a gay man's heart, and so much charm, personality, compassion and friendship for the dancers that damnit I'll declare right here and now that she should be hosting every show on television! My boss thought last week that maybe Cat was preggers (inciting a Kidman like baby-bump watch) but after that skin tight number last night, I think we can lay that one to rest.

Quote of the night came not from the show but from my partner, Jon.

Cat: "You're a hard man Nigel Lithgoe..."
Jon: "That's what she said!"

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Jon made a funny. Right now all you Office-ianados are loving him too.

First up: Ivan and new partner So I Think She Can't Dance Martha. They're dancing a Hip-Hop routine by the always awesome Shane Sparks that mixes some hot moves buried beneath some poppin' and voguing (yes, they were voguing y'all - and it made me love Shane Sparks more). It's out of sync at times and Martha just comes across really bitter. Honey, Imagine how Travis has felt for 6 weeks... yeah, that's right! Jailbait Ivan danced circles around that stick figure he was partnered with but unfortch there was zero chemistry between them. It was a let down after the super kinetic energy he and Allison created last week.
Download: "Me and You" by Cassie
Cassie - Me & U - Single - Me & U (Main)

Donyelle's first solo ever is up next... what the hell order are they doing this in? I'm already frantically trying to figure out how to write this up and we're only like 6 minutes into this 2 hour episode. Jon looks over at me and goes: "This is going to take all night isn't it?" He had no idea... Donyelle's Hip-Hop solo was powerful and full of personality. I had completely blanked on the fact that she's a hip-hopper by trade; she's just such a wonderful dancer at all styles. Ah yes, and there's the worrisome limp as she makes her way over to Cat. Imagine how much pain she must be in with that foot injury week after week, routine after routine. Damn, that's gotta smart - but you know what? If Howler Mary Murphy hadn't pointed it out weeks back, you'd never know. Donyelle is that good! I can't help it guys: "You want Fame? Well Fame costs, and here's where you start paying... in sweat!"

Dmitry's 48th solo of the competition was another fast foot action routine; in fact it's the same fast foot action routine we've seen 47 times before. I'm so over him. Wait, he just ripped his shirt off... I'm still so over him. Yeah, I'm that over him ladies and gents. Who am I not over though? Cat Deely! Did you see her rubbing Dmitry's arm and resting her pretty little head on his massive sweaty shoulder? I love her.
Download: "Pump It" by Black Eyed Peas
Pump It (Edited Version)

My BF Travis Wall picks Cousin Heidi as his new partner! I couldn't think of a better pairing in this competition. For weeks I've been asking for the heads of Martha and Ryan; this was just the cleaner way of removing them and allowing My BF Travis and Cousin Heidi' to flourish and grow! If you thought my love of Travis was deep, think about how much more I adored him after letting out Mr. Hanky's "HiDeHo" - dang sweet that Travis Wall is.

Howler Mary has choreographed the Paso Doble for what I'm predicting to be the power couple of the night! Before I comment on the dance though, can someone tell me which Band of Gypsies lost their resident idiot because I just found her in a dance studio in Hollywood. Seriously with that outfit Mary. Seriously.

Instantly Cousin Heidi and Travis have unbelievable chemistry. The dance was super hot and intense. My BF Travis had his Man Face on as he carried Cousin Heidi across the stage and I, well let's not go into that here. You can probably see what it did to me over on pornotube... It was macho, sultry, and sometimes violent... that's how My BF Travis Wall rolls! WOW!

Download: "Plaza of Execution" from Zorro
James Horner - The Mask of Zorro - The Plaza of Execution

Ryan and Allison will be dancing their first couples number to a Contemporary routine by Prune Face Mia Michaels. What's with her face lately? When did Renee Zellweger become a choreographer? You'd never know that both Ryan and Allison were contemporary dancers after Mia worked them with her intricate and complicated routine. They were just two noodles in black leotards out there. At one point Allison fell onto Ryan as she was trying to squeeze through his arms. It was a mess. One of the judges called it "Crazy" - yeah it was Crazy alright... Crazy BAD! The highlight was when Ryan slammed his face and teeth into Allison's ass! Painful much?
Download: "Ethna" by Klement Bonelli
Klement Bonnelli - Mezzanine de l'Alcazar, Vol. 4 - Ethna

Martha's solo... What'cha Waiting For Martha? Seriously, you hold back when you are dancing for your life? The only thing worse than that was the green hat she decided to sport. It was like a mannequin from 1987 threw itself across that stage. Honey, it took 20 years for Kim Cattrall to recover from the same mistake... Is Martha Mute?
Download: "What You Waiting For" by Gwen Stefani
Gwen Stefani - Love Angel Music Baby (The Remixes) - EP - What You Waiting For?

Jailbait Ivan's solo involves those roller skate sneakers that "the kids wear." They make those for adults? Ivan's routine is cute but not impressive and the most memorable thing about it are those damn sneaks. I want some. Cat loves her contestants though doesn't she? "Get over here RollerBoy!"

Dmitry and new partner Donyelle pull the Lindy Hop out of Cat's Hat. Um, first things first... to all the Benji/Donyelle fans that think B/D actually should end up "romantic" together after the show (yes, those of you as blind as he to the obvious) do you believe me now when I say Donyelle has been working triple time to thwart Benji's misguided advances? The second she got Dmitry, she was all over his manly chest. If she has a love for any man on the show, its for Dmitry, the only straight man left. Sorry folks.

Choreographers Nick Williams and Kristin Sorci worked around Donyelle's foot nicely. There were amazing hops, turns, and stomps but the show stopper was Donyelle's Back Jump into Dmitry's arms. I lost my breath for a moment because I was sure she'd crack her pretty skull open then Benji would rush the stage knocking Dmitry out of the way; crying he'd hold her bleeding head and scream as the camera pulls up and spins around twirling into oblivion. I know, dramatic but that's where my head went. What about in rehearsals when Dmitry threw Donyelle over his head and she slammed into the floor behind him? Way to kick her when's she's down Dmitry you ass.
Download: "Sing, Sing, Sing" from Swing Kids
Benny Goodman and His Orchestra - Sing, Sing, Sing - Sing, Sing, Sing

Stay Tuned for Part 2...


  • When Donyelle jumped backwards I held my breath. Every "trust fall" we were forced to do in leadership camps came rushing back to!!!

    MARTHA NEEDS TO GO HOME. Pack your attitude and ugly ass hat and hit the road.

    I can't wait for Part II..that's where all the good stuff happened.

    Jailbait Ivan can use those rollersneakers whenever he wants.

    By Anonymous GMMR, at 7/20/2006 10:45:00 AM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home