America's Next Top Model Thoughts

Top Model you've made the right decision for once! Historically, ANTM has kept the crazy ass contestant in the competition as long as possible because they are excellent tv -- they cause much stress and annoyance but they are great television.

Last night, this seasons biggest bitch, Monique, got sent packin' and I comend the show for not torturing us for another 8 weeks (like they did with butt-ugly Jade last season). She was delusional (thanks Laura from Project Runway for putting that thought in my head before this write up), whiney, insane, and possibly the cruelest person in ANTM history. For her in house tantrums, inability to cooperate and cohabitate without being a pretty pretty princess alone she should have received a Tyra shakedown...

...but her ouster was sufficient in my opinion. Be gone Cruella!

As for the remaining ladies, AJ won the walking/poise competition and took Cari Dee and Megg with her to Austin, Texas for a charity event hosted by Dennis Quade. When they arrived, they realized that all the models in the show were ex-Top model contestants -- which I love to see return (it's like a bad high school reunion) and make up amazing career stories. Camille, that crazy bitch from seasons past claims to be working in a different country every month. Is she still going around claiming all the models have eating disorders too? Oh snap yes I did.

My favorite part of the Austin award was that AJ totes dissed Texas native Brooke. When asked to choose 2 friends to attend, Brooke was nearly jumping out of her skin in hopes of being picked. The brilliance was that AJ could have cared less. Blew that girl off like she wasn't even in the room! I would too, this is a competition and if being away from home will break down another girl, I'm all about being the one to bring on her demise.

Melissa Rose, sorry Madison, 'bout came to blows with Nasty Monique over the phone. Never in 7 seasons has that phone room caused such drama. Monique done be the devil too because I know she didn't slam Madison into the counter in turn slamming into Anchal who's just trying to rest and have a sandwhich. Can't the girl eat a sandwhich without a beat down? Damn.

What else? Oh yeah, during the runway/photo shoot Cari Dee's left boob was completely exposed but she didn't care. She worked it. I've already had numerous people Google Cari Dee and some form of terminology for boob end up at my site. Sorry boys, I've not seen an uncensored pic yet.

And can we talk that catwalk for a second? Are they straight-up trying to kill a contestant this season? That was a little harsh (not that I didn't love it when Anchal took a fall into the water but...) for this early in the season. Note to Producers, if the catwalk is going to be made up of 5 floating mini-docks on a pool, the least you could do is secure them together so that each of the 5 platforms doesn't tip in different directions with each step. I'm dead shocked noone took a header. Though, I do love me some Jay who was like, "If I was one of these models and couldn't get back down the runway I'd just push one into the water." I'd probably just do it for fun or to see if Eugena's wings really worked. Can you levitate bitch?

Now a gripe... I think I've said it before (and I know I mentioned it in the PODCAST) but these girls are not model material for the most part. In seasons past there were always a couple girls that worked the hell out of the runway and/or the photo shoots. Girls that you could actually look at and be mesmerized by. This season its a bunch of personalities with bodies. The photo shoots have been so-so for all the contestants. None of them are nailing each shoot or mastering the runway. And the shoots themselves this season are pretty lame don't you think? It just seems that in the past there have been so many glamour setups or insane arty shots but this season it's been very makeshift and on the fly. I'm over that. Get David LaChappelle's ass out of that K-hole he's probably in, strap a camera to his face, and get us some SHOTS!

My Current Top 3:





  • Ducky - This is the first "cycle" of ANTM I've ever seen, but I think it might be the best/worst reality TV show ever. Thank goodness they eliminated Monique before she sexually assualted Melrose. That chick was messed up! Who goes around rubbing their vaginal discharge on other people? Who even thinks of that? I totally agree with your top three. I love AJ and the twins, they all have this gaunt, ghost-like look that works for high fashion. I can't imagine any of the other girls having a successful modeling career.

    By Anonymous rlh779, at 10/05/2006 01:16:00 PM  

  • Also, best moment of the night...Monique reading the Bible. What the ****?

    By Anonymous rlh779, at 10/05/2006 02:35:00 PM  

  • Wow, not only did I not think to search for CariDee's boob, it never accured to me why other people were searching for my site for it. I need to start hanging out in frat houses again.

    By Blogger Scooter, at 10/05/2006 05:01:00 PM  

  • rlh779 I love you! What a great synopsis of a crazy bunch. But seriously, I could do without the vaginal discharge... another reason I'm a gay man.

    Scooter, you should always be thinking about Cari Dee's boobs, you are after all heterosexual.

    By Blogger duckyxdale, at 10/05/2006 11:18:00 PM  

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