Ramblings from my sickbed... a weeks worth of television!

I will start off by saying that I didn�t leave my bed for almost 5 days so my television viewing was somewhat random and blurred by fever and death. My faux-vo�d viewings came late and quick and the recap here will be much the same. Let it begin:

American Idol (Last Week)
Though I cannot recall much of what the girls sang or what they were wearing I will say this� I took some sick pleasure in seeing All American Girl Ayla Brown get the boot! You just had this sense that Thursday night was the first time she ever lost ANYTHING in her life. As she had previously conquered all areas and with great expertise (basketball, football, academics, etc.) I loved watching her lose all control of her emotions. Sure she had lost a basketball game before but it was as a team, she�d never been judged and lost something on her merits alone and I LOVED WATCHING HER GO DOWN! Suck on that Gayle Huff (her Boston news casting Mom) and �State� Senator Brown. Is he a Massachusetts Senator? I live her and could swear he�s not � I�m so political.

Kinnick Sky� guess this Sky just found her limit! She was such a non-entity that really how could she stay? Will �Peter Brady� Makar had to have known he was short for this competition. But if VH1 ever decides to do another season of their Partridge Family talent search, we�ve got the has-been-television-family for the new season and their Peter Brady!

Gedeon McKinney�s out and first thought is to Thank GOD! Who knew this gay boy was actually just uber-religious? Not me! Imagine the teeth marks in the pillow he�ll be biting once he hits college�


America�s Next Top Model (Premiere)
Mollie Sue is my pick to win this season. In the �fairy� print ads and online she is the one that sticks out most as having a �model� look to her. Having said that, I am sure that she�ll be the first one gone. Some of these chicks, I just don�t see it. Think back to the last recent heyday of models, the 90�s and none of these girls really stick out as being capable of landing a modeling contract.

I know they�ve got their eye out for that special look, or that certain quality but I�ve got my gay eye out too and not many of these girls have it. Sure, the big lipped country looking girl will go far, Mollie Sue looks most versatile, and this seasons Lisa id the waaaay too confident and surely too old Jade, but are any of these girls really top model material? Doubtful.

The bigger question this season is actually a repeat question I had last season� when on earth is someone going to do something about Tyra�s bangs getting stuck in her eyelashes? If I have to suffer through another �I have 12 beautiful girls before me but only 11 pictures�� with Ms. Tyra�s right eyelid super-glued to her bangs I will die. It looks painful and it�s beyond noticeable - so why hasn�t a producer looked at the tape and forced a stylist onto the set with a pair of scissors already? Watch for it, it happened numerous times last season and already in the premiere it�s happened again. I�m starting a running tally.

ANTM Cycle 6 Trya Lash/Bang Annoyance Tally:
I


Project Runway (Season 2 Finale)
I know I�m sick and seeing pink elephants floating around my room but did Heidi Klum just say that Chloe Dao is the winner of Project Runway Season 2? Never in a million years would I have predicted that. Hell, I was more sure I�d win Project Runway before she would. Don�t get me wrong, I enjoyed Chloe and I thought she was a nice designer, but she was not a risk-taker or a shocking designer by any means! Wow, good for her.

Daniel, you either got cocky or you finally showed your age and how green you truly are because brother, you bombed � suicide bombed. And that Ikea pressed-board looking handbag was simply bad. I loved watching Tim Gunn�s facial expressions as he studied Daniel�s collection. I felt bad for Daniel but greatful for what good television his misfortune was making!

Santino, I lost you at �My Mother�s The Shit Y�all!� Um, profound. Hey, that�s Beth O. next to Santino�s Mom! Beth O. is big enough to get front row seats to Project Runway, Howard Stern must have been proud.

Chloe� Wow.


Black.White.
That white man has been waiting his whole life to say �Nigger� and tonight he�s said it more than most of the white race in all of history.


Survivor Exile Island
I love when teams intentionally screw with another tribe�s dynamic. When Casaya chose to send Sally to Exile Island (saving her ass and ensuring a break up amongst the men) I was a happy camper. I hate how it always comes down to gender politics. Like keeping that string bean no-energy astronaut would have been a better choice than keeping Sally? That�s crap. Thank goodness Jeff threw that twist into the combined reward/immunity challenge! Finally some spice in this game.

Oh and seriously if cracked out Shane makes it another week on this show I�m going to need a Silkwood shower to cleanse myself. Gross.


Without a Trace
Look how happy Jack is! How great is it to finally see Anthony Lapaglia looking young and happy again? Not that I don�t enjoy throwing chairs through glass walls Jack too, it�s just that a sleeping with Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio Jack is a refreshing change of pace.

Will we ever find out what Danny and Elena�s past is? This week Elena was able to get far under Danny�s skin and I want details of their history�


16 Kids and Moving In (TLC)
This freakshow family has 16 kids, they�re from Utah, and are using child-labor to build their new 7,000 sq.ft. �dream� home and I was glued to that television set like never before. After five minutes, my first words as the Mother of the clan is talking to the camera were: �These people are assholes� but you know what, assholes make for good television. I later discovered that this is a follow up special to �14 Children and Pregnant Again!� in which assholes Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar exploited their fertility the first time.

For three years these 14 plus kids basically build this house. As Jon and I wondered when they went to school, sure as shit the special told us that all 16 kids were being home schooled. Someone call Child Welfare Services because unless these kids plan on being General Contractors, there is a crime a happenin� in Utah and TLC has documented every tragic detail.

If you get the chance, please check this freakshow out! It�s amazing television and an amazing family of amazingly bad hairstyles. All the girls are straight out of colonial times with their bone straight blonde hair and hand-made prairie dresses. At one point one of the little bastard girls looks into the camera and says how she loves the �Little House on the Prairie� books� because you look and dress like Laura Ingles Wilder honey, for no other reason but that! Someone get these people some contraception and a pair of scissors. The Utah Mothering Mullet that Michelle Duggar sports is a one of a kind! Check it before its gone, you will not be disappointed.