American Idol - 2 Fur 5!

I came into the show late tonight (don't worry it was recorded, so I just hit a button and back I went to the beginning) and when I initially turned it on, McPheever was singing her first song of the night "Against All Odds" and it sounded like two dogs in heat. It was scary and I was very nervous for her!

I wasn't feeling Elliott's first ditty of the night: "On Broadway" but it still wasn't as bad as what I just heard coming out of McPhee's hot sensous mouth a couple seconds before. Elliott seems to only excel when he's sitting down concentrating on what's coming out of that crooked ass toothed mouth of his. When's he's up, energetic, and moving around he seems to forget he's on a talent show... he drops words and gets too caught up in the moment. Sing it bitch.

Elliott's second song "Home" (which again I've never heard in my life) was far far better. It was a Michael Buble song correct? Is he doing contemporary hits now or is it still his crooner thang? Regardless of what it was, I was really loving Elliott's performance, it was soft and sounded like butter. Like Buttah! Notice he was sitting, I'm on to something here.

Paris Bennett was born in 1988 - are you frakkin' kidding me here? Seriously I was in 9th grade, that is scary to me. I'm way to old for this shit. And speaking of shit, could her version of Prince's "Kiss" been more boring bland and unsexy? It just was not good. I mean, Prince had assless chaps to back it up and a dirty bathtub... all we get is Paris' moon face and a fucking diamond blinged cross to look at. Kiss your ass goodbye tonight Bennett.

Paris' second song was a Mary J. Blige song. Now I don't know a ton about Mary (as the judges lovingly called her - Like MJB wouldn't beat Paula's ass down in seconds for even looking at her wrong) but I know enough to know you do not touch Mary. You don't even try to feel her epic ghetto vibe she's selling when she performs. Paris will be burning tonight when her ass goes home.


Chris Daughtry is once again on fire! This boy's version of "Renegade" brought me right back to my youth. Sitting in my living room listening to the 14" long cabinet stereo that couldn't have been bigger (or better y'all) if it tried. God I loved the late 70s. Hot sticky...

Sorry, damn Chris is good. His second performance of something by someone name Shinedown was great until his voice gave out. I get really nervous for baldie when he screams too much because as much as America loves him, they are not ready for "that" angry of an Idol. Regardless, it was better than the judges gave him credit for.


McPheever's first tune as I mentioned was bad - she never caught the right note or key and never caught up to the band. Last time that happened Mandisa's big ass went home so I pray pray for rock and roll that McPhee is spared tonight! I voted and for the first time actually called in a vote instead of texting it in... you get to hear "KAT" thank you personally. It was cute. Love her.

Now Kat's second song by that oddball KT Tungsten or somethingorother was damn good. She was barefoot, on her knees before two men, and writhing all over the place. It was pretty much the sex vote. No? Please, like my friend Jim didn't just cream to that performance. Uh-huhu, I went there... She was back! Our Kat was back!


Is Tyler still on this show? Seriously, wait... hahaha his name is Taylor! I seriously forgot he was even still on this show. See, now I've already said Paris is going home but in reality shouldn't it be Taylor? Noone even remembers he's here and then when we're reminded... we find out he's 30 and is wearing some kind of stupid ass Jimmy Buffett like shirt. I hate hate hate Jimmy Buffett and that's all I could think of. Gets ta getting Taylor Hicks, get off that floor and go home.

Is he singing a Beatles song? Seriously. Simon was right... very clever but actually probably one of the dumbest moves yet. Send this windbag home, I'm over the schtick!

Oh, Veronica Mars is on...