American Idol - A Six Pack of Love Songs












So we didn't get to see or hear a Chris Daughtry/McPheever "Can't We Try" duet but we did get to see McPhee's McBeaver when the buttons on her yellow dress popped exposing her undies! HELLO! And the McTits! Wow, the girl is hot business!

As for performances (mostly of the lackluster kind) my top three tonight are as follows:

1. Chris Daughtry - who's version of that Robin
Hood song was better than the original done by pock marked Brian
Adams. The boy is just smoking hot and his voice was flawless! *My
only complaint was that the camera focused on the guerilla with the hairy
knuckles playing that guitar once too often. Sicka.

2. McTits - I don't care if she didn't match the
power of the original - she was banging hot, the voice was great and there was a
crotch shot! Hello! Who here thinks Whitney could
have pulled out a better performance? Sure if it was a crack-ho
competition I'm sure she could win hands down what with her dirty bathroom,
sweating problem, and lack of teeth not to mention the needles sticking out of
her arms... but in singing the song - McPhee nailed it!

3. Elliott Yamin - He of vice grip teeth sang the
shit out of that song that I'd never heard from a person I'd never heard of who
fathered some girl we'll never hear of again. If for no other reason than
he made Paula's mascara run 'coon style and reduced her to a
wimpering mess all the while Simon sat next to her laughing his
ass off - he deserves to be in the Top 3 this week. You can't script shit
this good folks.

That leaves us with our Bottom 3 folks:
- Pickle is gonna be sucking it all the way back to North Cackalacky tonight if we're lucky.
- Taylor as much as I love that James Ingram song - buddy its time to patrol that soul back to the land of swamps, floods, looting, and quarters that are french.
- Paris, seriously with the hair extensions during your rehearsals.

Oh and can we talk about Andrea Boccelli? Seriously, get some shades buddy. This is turing into Blind Idol this season. If Ray Charles wasn't dead he'd be on next week for christ sake.