So You Think You Can Dance
Results Show
July 6, 2006







Everybody... FOOTLOOSE! Kevin Bacon/Skinny Chris Penn footwork and all! God Bless that Mary Mur... wait, what the hell is she wearing? I don't care what she choreographed, that dress should be banned by Reverend Shaw but the kind of ban where the kids could care less so there's no barn dance/glitter uproar over it. Damn... that dress hurts to look at. FOOTLOOSE!



In the opening number Cousin Heidi got around... did you see? She went from her real life dance partner Dmitry (who for some reason found buttons for his clothing) to lying atop her real life cousin (Benji) spread eagle. Everybody together now... "So That's How The Mormon's Do It!"

Before we get to the dancing, I'd like to point out to all those television haters, all those "kill your tv" zealots... Not only is So You Think You Can Dance entertaining and promoting exercise and self expression, its also educational. Last night, Nigel taught us that there are "planes of dance: floor, feet, and flight" Who knew?

Group 1:
Natalie and Musa (If these two aren't screwing I don't know what's what)
Benji and Donyelle (Again, he leaned in for the kiss and she's like nooooo in slo-motion and her head turns...)

Group 2:
My BF Travis Wall and Martha
Cousin Heidi and Ryan - Bottom 3
Jessica and Jaymz - Bottom 3

Group 3:
Dmitry and Ashlee
Ivan and Allison - Bottom 3


Solos:
Jessica's first with some ballet number which to me looks amazing but didn't Nigel just get finished saying that you can't get up there and just do a lot of pirouettes? Sister is not paying attention.

Jaymz managed to not fly off the stage this week but performed some bullshit bullfight sequence loosely called a Paso Doble. Do you not perform contemporary/lyrical?

Cousin Heidi is seriously getting the shaft each week. Obviously her partner Ryan is bringing her down because consistently, her solos rock the house! Tina Turner, come on... loves it!

Eight, Seven, Six, Five, Four... the crowd was chanting the countdown when I realized I had completely just been staring blankly at the screen... no concentration, no focus, nothing. Ryan just finished and I forgot to even watch. That's an indication he blows.

Allison did some spastic routine which a couple folks have done while "dancing for their lives." I beg of someone to email me and tell me what style that is and why its so frantic and untrained looking. My cousin Mark used to shake around like that but he was just epileptic.

Ivan, boy you've done something because this crowd loves loves loves you!


Results:
Gals first - Jessica is going home!
Guys - Jaymz will be joining her.
Not only did they share the dance floor for 5 weeks, they can now share a cab home. Perfect ending!

Can someone please let me know why this show isn't on basically every night of the week? Seriously, I'd tune in. I'm absoinlove with it. Cat's delish, Nigel's a lovable grump, Mary's fucking crazy, Dan's a douche, Mia's incredibly laid back, Brian's scary looking, Shane's unreal, Cicily and Olisa are cool cats, the kids are adorable and it just makes me happy. There, I've said it.


*for you fans of reality tv, don't miss my interview with MTV's Real World/Road Rules Challenger Tina Barta!