The Office - Dwight K. Schrute's Blog

Dwight's blog entries are always funny, but this week's Valentine's Day blog is high-sterical!

Valentine's Day


Valentines day is almost on top of us.

You know what that means. Love is in the air. Romance is in the air. And PROFITS are in the air. Yes, don't rub your eyes, you read correctly, i said "Profits".

Fact: Valentines day was created by the flower companies and the hallmark company AND chocolate companies and companies that create little plastic cupid creatures containing candy and fluffy what-nots.

THEY started valentines day to sell all of these 'romantic goodies' to unsuspecting sentimental consumers.

I don't buy it. And neither should you.
Don't buy anything 'heart-shaped', 'floral' or made of chocolate this valentines day. Don't purchase anything with a cupid or fluffy theme to it. Don't buy anything that contains something else that is cuteand/or romantic. To show your 'mate' that you adore them, do something worthwhile for them. Clean up their yard. Shovel something for them. Give their Honda a tune-up. Go to Sam's Club and buy them a flat of toilet paper and stock it in their basement.

Why not, as the ancients used to, kill something delicious for them and lay it on their door-step. Astag, a salmon, a sow. Or, as someone I have been seeing might suggest, spend the day in penitent prayer on their behalf.

These are just the opinions of the blog author, and not the belief of Dunder-Mifflin, Inc.

That is all.

Dwight Kurt Schrute

PS I understand my recent entries have managed to anger both Canadians and women. I imagine someone like Shania Twain must be doubly upset as she is both. (I think!?) I'm sorry, Shania. I think you are really beautiful. And I understand you are married to a mysterious ugly dude. What's up with that? I also apologize to Sarah McLaughlin. You are very HOTT and sing like a Canuck angel. I like Canadian women very much. They know how to build igloos and appreciate John Candy films. Thank you for that.