Veronica Mars - "Rashard and Wallace Go to White Castle"

Question of the week: How have the majority of these Neptune kids not killed themselves or had heart attacks from all the stress related terror in their town. For real, Neptune is like the scariest place on earth. If you though Scientologists from Space were the ones to fear with their scary dreadlocks and bad piercings you were sadly mistaken. The ones to fear are your next door neighbors, the sports heroes, the local politicians, and the cute kids you used to ride bmx with who are now implicated in all sorts of evil doings by the age of 18. It's fucking scary in that place yet every teen in town seems to barely acknowledge half of it.

Veronica's been targeted numerous times in death plots, kidnappings, gang fights, and vigilante-ism while dealing with her alcoholic and absent mother issues while trying to get a good score on the SAT's. She should have more stress and near death anxiety attacks instead of witty banter over game hens with her father.

Weevil heads up a motorcycle gang and apparently killed Curly (the fatty mechanic that showed up dead and bloated with Veronica's name written on his person) while battling his own issues with weight control.

Logan's girlfriend was murdered, his new girlfriend was tortured and almost killed by his father who just happened to kill his last girlfriend and that was just last year. Don't forget his Mother jumped off the Catalina bridge! Summer brought a murder charges, a trial, drive-by-shootings, a break up, a burned down house, and another year of high school. Sure, he's the tough bad boy with a real heart of gold but for real, scary shit dude... it's okay to just leave town, it really is.

Now our innocent friend Wallace Fennel is in some serious hot water of his own and all he can think about is whether or not he can make it to the pep rally. Wallace, you were just implicated in a hit-and-run accident in Chicago after finding out you have a father, that your mother was a lying bitch and moving half way across country twice... not to mention you've got one angry resourceful Uncle of a basketball star mighty pissy that you've ruined his fame and fortune not to mention stolen his cell phone! Watch you ass and take a minute to just cry naked in the bathtub already, its what any self respecting high school boy would do. Now welcome back kiddo!

No wonder Duncan was hopped up on meds and fled the country, he may be the only sane one after all!


Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home