duckyxdale

8/30/2004

When does that come back?

Below is a list of dates for your favorite (and least favorite) shows and their return (courtesy of AICN):
According To Jim (ABC) Sept. 21
Al Franken (Sundance) Sept. 7
All Of Us (UPN) Sept. 21
Amazing Race 6 (CBS) Sept. 25
American Dreams (NBC) Sept. 26
America's Funniest Home Videos (ABC) Sept. 26
America's Most Wanted (Fox) Sept. 11
America's Next Top Model 3 (UPN) Sept. 22
Apprentice 2 (NBC) Sept. 9
Arrested Development (Fox) Nov. 7
Bachelor 6 (ABC) Sept. 22
The Benefactor (ABC) Sept. 13
Bernie Mac Show (Fox) Sept. 8
The Billionaire (Fox) Nov. 9
Boston Legal (ABC) Oct. 3
Center Of The Universe (CBS) Sept. 29
Charmed (WB) Sept. 12
The Club (Spike) Oct. 12
Clubhouse (CBS) Sept. 26
Cold Case (CBS) Oct. 3
Commando Nanny (WB) Sept. 17
Complete Savages (ABC) Sept. 24
The Complex: Malibu (Fox) Aug. 30
Cops (Fox) Sept. 11
Crossing Jordan (NBC) Sept. 26
CSI (CBS) Sept. 23
CSI: Miami (CBS) Sept. 20
CSI: New York (CBS) Sept. 22
Desperate Housewives (ABC) Oct. 3
Dog The Bounty Hunter (A&E) Aug. 31
Drawn Together (CC) Oct. 27
Dream Job 2 (ESPN) Sept. 14
Drew Carey's Green Screen (WB) Sept. 16
Dr. Vegas (CBS) Sept. 24
Eight Simple Rules (ABC) Sept. 24
ER (NBC) Sept. 23
Eve (UPN) Sept. 21
Everwood (WB) Sept. 13
Everybody Loves Raymond (CBS) Sept. 20
Extreme Makeover (ABC) Sept. 23
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition (ABC) Sept. 26
Family Bonds (HBO) Sept. 19
Father Of The Pride (NBC) Aug. 31
Fear Factor (NBC) Aug. 30
George Lopez Show (ABC) Sept. 21
Ghost Hunters (SciFi) Oct. 6
Gilmore Girls (WB) Sept. 21
Girlfriends (UPN) Sept. 20
Grounded For Life (WB) Sept. 17
Half & Half (UPN) Sept. 20
Hawaii (NBC) Sept. 1
Hope & Faith (ABC) Sept. 24
House (Fox) Nov. 16
How Clean Is Your House? (Lifetime) Sept. 6
Huff (Showtime) Nov. 7
I'll Do Anything (ESPN) Sept. 28
In Search Of The Partridge Family (VH1) Sept. 5
Jack & Bobby (WB) Sept. 12
JAG (CBS) Sept. 24
Joan Of Arcadia (CBS) Sept. 24
Joey (NBC) Sept. 9
Judging Amy (CBS) Sept. 28
Kevin Hill (UPN) Sept. 29
King Of Queens (CBS) Sept. 29
King Of The Hill (Fox) Nov. 7
Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County (MTV) Sept. 14
Last Comic Standing 3 (NBC) Aug. 30
Las Vegas (NBC) Sept. 13
Law & Order (NBC) Sept. 22
Law & Order: CI (NBC) Sept. 26
Law & Order: SVU (NBC) Sept. 21
LAX (NBC) Sept. 13
Less Than Perfect (ABC) Sept. 24
Life As We Know It (ABC) Oct. 7
Listen Up (CBS) Sept. 20
Long Way Around (Bravo) Oct. 28
Lost (ABC) Sept. 22
Malcolm In The Middle (Fox) Nov. 7
Medical Investigation (NBC) Sept. 9
The Mountain (WB) Sept. 22
My Wife & Kids (ABC) Sept. 21
Navy NCIS (CBS) Sept. 28
The Next Great Champ (Fox) Sept. 7
NYPD Blue (ABC) Sept. 21
The OC (Fox) Nov. 4
One On One (UPN) Sept. 20
One Tree Hill (WB) Sept. 21
The Partner (Fox) Nov. 7
Proof Positive (SciFi) Oct. 6
Real World 15 (MTV) Sept. 7
Reba (WB) Sept. 17
Renovate My Family (Fox) Sept. 1
Rodney (ABC) Sept. 21
Scare Tactics (SciFi) Oct. 6
Scrubs (NBC) Aug. 31
Second Time Around (UPN) Sept. 20
Seventh Heaven (WB) Sept. 13
Simpsons (Fox) Nov. 7
Smallville (WB) Sept. 22
Star Trek: Enterprise (UPN) Oct. 8
Steve Harvey's Big Time (WB) Sept. 12
Still Standing (CBS) Sept. 20
South Park (CC) Oct. 27
Surreal Life 3 (VH1) Sept. 5
Survivor 9: Vanuatu (CBS) Sept. 16
Swan 2 (Fox) Oct. 25
That '70s Show (Fox) Sept. 8
Third Watch (NBC) Sept. 17
Tru Calling (Fox) Nov. 4
Two And A Half Men (CBS) Sept. 20
Veronica Mars (UPN) Sept. 22
Wanda Does It (CC) Oct. 5
West Wing (NBC) Oct. 20
What I Like About You (WB) Sept. 17
Wife Swap (ABC) Sept. 29
Will & Grace (NBC) Sept. 16
The Wire (HBO) Sept. 19
Without A Trace (CBS) Sept. 23

Tivo this!

So, Comcast is starting to roll out their DVR service in the next couple weeks. I am on the "waiting list" which supposedly gives first service to the customers on the list. I cannot wait. It does 50 hours of recording and is only $9.95/mo. Free installation, no purchase of a recorder necessary. So, right there it's over $100 cheaper from the start and it's $3 less per month. Bring it on. I gotz me some shows to watch... FALL TV IS COMING BABY!

8/27/2004

Gay Christmas Tree Shops

Sweet Jesus, this morning I witnessed the first GAY Christmas Tree Shops ad on television. Now normally the Christmas Tree Shops commercials are stereotypical craftsy South Shore (read: middle america women with the worst Boston accent imaginable) housewives that are obsessed with the home shopping networks and Ltd Commodities. Move over housewives, the gays have taken over your chintz and are now marketing it!

It's your typical Christmas Tree Shops commercial, just this time with South Shore Middle Aged Gays pitching bargain after shottily made bargain. They seem like two relatively normal men that live together and LOVE LOVE LOVE 99cent gift bags!

Genius!

How did they get 2 gays willing and able to show their faces on television. Usually they pass through that store with Jackie O glasses on and a shawl over their heads as to not be recognized.

8/25/2004

Amazing Race 5 8.24.04

Dear Colin,
Due to recent activity caught on tape we are now concerned. We allowed your badgering of Mirna and Schmirna. When Mirna told TVGuide that you threatened to break her legs while at the airport, we began to question your sanity. After last night's airing of The Amazing Race 5, we have enough evidence to honestly say you need some major help. If not help (which I am sure you would decline - not gracefully, but with force) then may I suggest you allow yourself to be captured by Al-Quida and beheaded.

Truly yours, concerned viewers.


Dear Christie,
Due to recent activity caught on tape we are now concerned. We allowed your blocking of airport entrance which is I am sure illegal and a fire hazard. When Mirna called you a bitch, we questioned her motives. After last night's airing of The Amazing Race 5, we have enough evidence to honestly say you need some major help. If not help (which I am sure you would decline - and then apologize for overreacting because you've been emotionally, if not physically abused into submission) then may I suggest you allow yourself to get a backbone and leave Colin with Al-Quida terrorists for a beheading. Knowing you, you will offer to be the one beheaded because you deserve it.

Truly yours, concerned viewers and women's lib'ers everywhere.


These two should be killed. Colin is a fucking psycho with the biggest white american complex imaginable. I saw Brokedown Palace and know well enough to not ever set foot in a foreign land jail. His superior mind kept telling him that it was a good thing to scream at the head of the police department and belittle everyone he comes in contact with. I only prayed he would be arrested and raped by every male in the country. For a while I was on the "poor Christie" bandwagon, but after last night's episode it is shockingly apparent that she has been abused by Colin because she has no backbone. When she was telling Colin to pay the cabdriver the $100 because they were wasting time and he REFUSED, I would have quit the game then and there. Get Phil on the phone, he needs to come down to this jail and officially eliminate us from the show. But no, she apologizes for getting emotional and making the situation more difficult for Colin. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? All she said was that this was a waste of time and to pay him. He kept telling her she was making this worse, then he tells every other team that he could have got away without paying if it wasn't for Christie. EVIIIIIIL! She needs a backbone and how. And what about that preview for next week, Colin screams at Christie while slamming his hands into dirt "I'M PACKING IT!"

Big Brother 5

Now, I've heard people refer to gay's as many things but last night I heard the best comparison yet. One of the twins on BB5 compared Will (last evicted) to Charles Manson ("even from jail he's getting others to kill for him"). Hey, don't be jealous you freckled face pig nosed manipulator.

Damn that Adria for winning the veto and removing herself from the chopping block this week. Nakomis was pissed! And she gave the most word circle reasoning which really just made her seem like a selfish whore in light of her sister that is now probably being kicked out.

I never really cared for that Marvin, but let me tell you he is becoming a phrase of the week machine. Some of the things that came out of his mouth last night...brilliance.

If Natalie isn't going home on Thursday, it's going to be one UGLY house.

8/24/2004

It's like Christmas!

It's apparently my lucky day!!!

The 6th Season of The Amazing Race starts Sept. 25th!!! Who knew? It's hidden on the CBS website as: http://www.cbs.com/primetime/amazing_race6/

Calling Occupants of Interplanetary Crafts and EVERWOOD!

I am freaking out. ANNE HECHE is joining the cast of EVERWOOD!!! Not only do we get Bailey from Party of Five, we now get Crazy Heche! For a pic of me and Crazy, stay tuned...

8/23/2004

Entourage 8.22.04

It took a while for me to get into this show, but it has happened. I would say around Episode 4 I began to really like the format of the show and began accepting that some of these people are just gross but still entertaining.

Hands down, this show is owned by Jeremy Piven. It's about time this guy got a good meaty roll as well. I love his slightly insane portrayal of Ari, Vince's manager. He is such a smart-ass and a tyrant that when he mouths off to his wife and she dares correct him, he caves. It's a great emotional point that would most often be left behind for such an overbearing (or seemingly overbearing)character.

And you have to love any show that has Anna from The OC in it.

Six Feet Under 8.22.04

This episode set in motion some interesting plot twists for the finale.
- We've all been waiting for David to snap and he finally has, I only wish we got to see the gory incident in action. Going all Tyson on a restaurant patron is something we've all wished upon once or twice. It just takes a carjacking, getting drenched with gasoline and sucking on the barrell of a gun to push one over the edge I guess. Not to mention hallucinatory chinese babies and a supposedly gay boyfriend that beds a female tween popster.

- Nate invites Brenda to visit his dead wife's family. Smart fucking move. Sometimes I swear this character does not have a brain and that he and Lisa did too many shrooms while in Seattle because common sense is not his strong point. And her dumbass goes. At first, Jon and I were convinced that when Nate left Mya with Lisa's family, it was a kidnapping situation. I was sure that they would never show up at the Hotel and that Nate would go looking and they would have taken her. But, nope. Instead we get the insane sister running into the happy new family in a coffee shop. Akward much? And then we find out that the sister knows who Brenda is...that Lisa told her sister all about her. Oh no, it was a tense and nervous scene for me to watch.

- No she didn't straighten her hair and get all hooched out for a date with Isabelle Evan's husband! If you are wondering what the hell I am talking about, the boy that Rico's wife had a date with was married to our favorite teen alien, Isabelle, from Roswell fame.

- Claire, lay off the drugs much? The scene with Claire and Edie was the best. It's great to see Claire as a sexual being this year. And to see her desires (no matter how fucked up).

Good episode with some great forshadowing!

8/19/2004

Sorry for the lack of updates!

It's been a busy couple weeks and I've had little time to comment on our favorite shows.

The Olympics are on this week and there are a couple observations:

1. Could Phelps look more different with and without that swim cap on? Those Dumbo ears are insane. Good thing that cap pins them down otherwise he'd be as fast as Gilbert Grapes' Mom in that pool.
2. Could those swim outfits on the men GET any lower? It's incredibly hot. (cue Nicole Richie: "That's Hot!")
3. I do not like that Carly girl on the American Gymnastics team. Something about her arched eyebrows and bad attitude. I've seen American Anthem enough to know an attitude gets you nowhere unless you are married to a professional hockey player.
4. Why the glitter? Those female gymnasts do love them some glitter.
5. I can't deal with the female gymnast's body. It's as thick and stocky as a horse and is so nonsexual it bothers me. The male gymnasts' bodies are very manly and flattering. Those girls though, thank god I am gay.
6. Why with the beach volley ball? Are you kidding?
7. Why are only the US female gymnasts pre-pubescent? There is that anorexic Russian girl of 25. Now those Russians are women. Posing nude in magazines, causing a potato riot and still getting medals. In America those girls would be killed.

The Amazing Race 5
Phil gets choked up at Mirna and Schmirna's elimination. The Philiminator losing his stoic stature? Phil, honey I'm concerned. What is it this year? Almost every elimination has been very emotional for me. All of my favorites are gone. If you recall I hated the midget and her cousin. But I grew to love their television presence. I loved the rivalry with Colin and Christi. And that ostrich egg. Are you kidding me? Who knew an ostrich could feed a village of 20 for a week on one egg? Now, that is an efficient bird. Forget a turkey. The ostrich is the new provider!
I just can't deal with some of these teams. Chip and his non-existent worthless wife better win this thing. I dont like them because she is a wet mop of a personality but that man can play this game like no other. If my previous record continues, I am now rooting for Colin and Christi (as all I root for are eliminated). GO COLIN! Skank.

BB5
Big Brother was banned officially in the first week. I will get a lot of shit for this, but it's unbanned and not only that, it is now must see tv. Tuesday's episode with the Veto competition proved to be one of the nastiest episodes in BB history. There is more backstabbing, evil doing, idiocy, and name calling in that house. I love it. Will with the Rosemary's baby comment. Will allowing the Bitch word to fly in every sentence referring to the twins. Grand! Oh god, and what about when A said that Jesus and the bible helped make the decision of who to nominate? When Will and Marvin pulled out the minority card it was sheer brilliance.
Sadly come Thursday, poor Will got the boot. I love that he wouldnt hug A or Nat. Those twins are the devil! Hopefully Nokomis will do her good will again and nominate those two doorknobs for eviction.

The OC
Please go to fox.com and check out the online look at the new season of The OC. It's just a music video but its candid and hot! I cannot wait until November for this show to return!!!

8/12/2004

Quick

Quick thoughts on shows:

- Amazing Race! Amazing as usual. I am starting to like the midget and her bitch cousin.
- Joe Schmo 2 Season Finale - Great!

Wish I had more time but I must ride my bike across the state.

8/10/2004

7 Hours and Counting...

The Joe Schmo 2 season finale (2 hours) is in 7 hours and counting. I should have called in sick today as they are running a Schmo marathon all day! DAMN WORK, DAMN IT TO HELL!

Buffy, the new Howard Stern?

Buffy Cleared By FCC! What? When did this happen?

8/09/2004

Six Feet Under 8.8.04

"I dont get fucked in the ass" - Celeste

OH NO! Buffy's little sister Dawn just said the F-word. Bad Dawn, BAD! Where is Buffy, Spike, Willow, and Xander to scold her? MY EARS!

8/03/2004

Joe Schmo 2 8.2.04

"If Patrick Swayze's danced it... I've learned it!" - Gerald "The Gotta Be Gay Guy" before his dance off with TJ "The Playa". Brilliance!

Best Moments of the night:

- Bryce "The Stalker" is kicked off the show because he killed the Falcon in a fit of revenge for the falcon killing his frog.
- Tim "Joe Schmo" on the verge of beating Bryce up for killing the falcon.
- The Chains Of Love tribute gone wrong by way of diarreah.
- The tribute to Goldmember
- The whole Dance Off Scenario
- Tim: "Have you been in a dance off before Gerald?"
Gerald: "I'm 7 and 0 baby!"
- Gerald blowing out TJ's wick at the eviction ceremony.
- Gerald's longing glaces at Austin and his hugging rounds before exiting the mansion.

It makes me sick that this is not the #1 show on cable. Next week is the finale... Tune in if you've not done so yet.

If you have yet to read the SchmoBlog, please click here to do so.

8/02/2004

Degrassi TNG 7.30.04

In the last episode before the last episode of the summer season of Degrassi we had emancipation, an overdose, a breakup, and a happy ending... finally! Brooding/Eminemish Sean's brother Tracker (who stars in the new gay film 'The Touch of Pink') gets a job in Alberta and Sean has to move with him(as Tracker is his legal guardian and staring the new gay film 'The Touch of Pink'). He breaks up with Ellie, crushing her little rubberband wrist snappin' heart. He finds out that if a teacher sponsors him he can get financial aid and become emancipated, allowing Eminem to stay at Degrassi! Joyous, he is free. His brother leaves him the apartment and all seems well until he tells his increasingly scummy-scuzbucket friends it's also "their house." You know where this is going. Sean's party central. House is always a rockin'. He's late for school, slipping in Shop class and on the verge of total destruction until Degrassi melodrama to the rescue...
His ex-fat faced girlfriend OD's in his bathroom. Longer story short, this wakes him up. He dumps his scummy-scuzbucket friends and it may be happily ever after for Eminem and Rubberband Wrist Snappin' Girl! As an added bonus, Sean removes his ski-cap for the first time all season and he looks okay (sans Peter Gallagher eyebrows).

Next week's finale should be grand as it's their end of year Semi-Formal (Bollywood Nights) and gasp, a fire breaks out! I can only hope szummy-scuzbucket 1,2, or 3 dies in that inferno. One can only dream.

I would also like to point out that it was the last episode of Degrassi Jon and I will watch with our friend Elena as she and her husband Mike moved on Sunday to Albany, NY. Sad.

Also on The N! Teen Dream PAIGE from Degrassi is one of the two castmembers to join the teen-survivor show Girls V. Boys. Basically when they showed Paige chained to a palm tree and her new teammates having to unlock her, Elena and I screamed like 14 year old girls. Not kidding.

Six Feet Under 8.1.04

Batina (aka Kathy Bates) is back! I love her and I love Rush Fischer's sister Patricia Clarkson as well. I'm making some predictions here and now:

1. Joe (hot Justin Theroux) will be dead on Nate's slab shortly.
2. George's days are numbered as well. Either death or divorce.
3. Claire will break Edie's heart and she will find love in herself for once.
4. Nate will go crazy before getting better.
5. Rico's wife might damn near kill somone.
6. David will dump Keith for good! (That might be wishful thinking)


Great episode. Will David never learn? The answer is NO! The Fischer's are destined to make horrible choices that leave them lonlier and more pathetic than the day before.

I loved the sibling's "Onion Patch" song. It was another great moment between the Fischer children. Some great and true relationship moments between family this season! A stand-out characteristic this year.

Kelly Preston, Marooned

So the new video for Maroon 5 has Kelly Preston playing a Mrs. Robinson-ish part to the hot singer's Benjamin. Apparently the singer is dating Kelly Preston's 18 year old daughter (that looks like a model) and is sleeping with Kelly Preston as well. Fine, done before.
The real shocker in this video is how old and weathered Kelly Preston looks. They made her into some Miami Rich Bitch of a Mom and it's not pretty! I know she is pushing middle age but what I want to know is what happened to my Kelly Preston of old days. I love the cute newcomer Kelly Preston in Mischief. I love the perky-ditz bubble gum chompin' Tish from Space Camp! Where is that Kelly Preston? I don't want used Gucci handbag Kelly Preston. I just don't. And I can tell you right now, neither does the singer for Maroon 5.