The Real World - Austin

Jon summed it up best: �Where do they find these people?� The Real World is in its 16th season and unfortunately I am still watching. What was once a momentous milestone in cultural history and the mind blowing television event of the summer of �92 (when I graduated) has turned into pure sensationalism and titillation. No longer is there cultural education or significance (unless you count the demoralizing and destruction of intelligence and self worth amongst 20 somethings as a step forward for future generations) in the Real World.

Sadly, it�s still compelling to watch the debauchery and wasted youth as 7 strangers live and work together to find out what happens when people stop being polite and start getting real.

A few things noticed:
- Danny from Boston is quite possibly the hottest man in RW cast history (notice picture above) and I think his frat boy mentality and girl-gawking will quickly be flayed to show he�s a good hearted and sincere if not emotionally damaged boy.

- The RW camera�s/cast and locals do not mix well anymore. Gone are the days when the locals try to find the RW house and get noticed out of joy and excitement. It�s now some sort of mob mentality and animosity toward the RW-ers and a chance to fuck with them whenever possible. On Night 2 in Austin, sweet sweet Danny is viciously beat down in the middle of the street by an Austin local which results in a facial fracture like you�ve never seen before. His cheek is completely crushed and he has to have surgery before blindness or infection set in. It�s hardcore to look at and this is only day 2 folks.

- There is nothing more important in a day than drinking. By Episode 2�s end, they�ve been living in Austin for 4 days and they�ve gone out 4 nights. After Danny finds out he has to take it easy and rest for his upcoming facial reconstruction surgery the group still head out (except for Danny and his new love Mel). Danny comments that he feels bad she couldn�t go out because she decided to stay home with him. Kid, you�re apologizing because she isn�t going to get drunk the night after your pretty face was mangled and it was made known y�all aren�t welcome? Are you kidding me? And what about the other housemates? The night after Danny is brutally assaulted outside of a bar, you can�t take a night off? Wouldn�t you be too freaked out at what happened the drunken night before to go out again so quickly? Nope, it�s off to the bar for more drama � freaks.

- Why is there always �the outsider� that is obviously supposed to be the moral center for the group? In San Diego it was both Jaimie and the unattractive Jacques. In Philly it was Shavonda (we�ll forgive the hookup with Landon) and now in Austin its alt-hairdresser/virgin Lacey. This person is cast without a hook-up mate in mind and usually shows up as the third wheel (or worse, alone) in the first episode arrivals ensuring their outsider status from the get-go. This �outsider� is also the most self-aware and secure of the bunch.

- Apparently the only reason to apply to be on the RW is to have sex on television. In Austin�s premiere episode they�d not been there for 2 days before the pairings were already set, the bets were made; the advances begun, and kisses all around. It�s no longer: let me get to know this new roommate, it�s which one of these new roommates do I have the best chance of screwing and how fast? Ready, set, go.

The Closer - Ep. 02

This second episode about a murdered model was not as strong as the original episode which was of epic proportions but it was still strong enough to keep me wanting more of our favorite Southern belle. Again, the food obsession carried over to both comedic and dramatic consequences. In the hair parlor, as Rachel Boston (who turned out to be the one that slipped the before mentioned dead model the poison that killed her) was telling Brenda what she could do for her she was wielding a bowl of snacks dangerously close to our snack deprived friend�s face � the looks and lip biting were dead on funny. Later as she was having dinner with the one time Mr. Teri Hatcher, Jon Tenney, she frantically lost her will power and devoured the carbs and a big gulp sized Merlot after he pointed out the comparisons to the woman the dead model�s movie star husband was sleeping with and Brenda�s own indiscretions with her boss, my favorite skinhead from �OZ�, Schillinger.

The characters are driving this show, not the horrible deaths that usually drive a detective show. It�s quite refreshing from a writing and acting standpoint to watch such incredible talent on a cable show. Again, this is another reason to not head to the megaplex this summer. Some of the best writing and acting is being shown an hour at a time in the comforts of your own home.

Favorite Moment of Ep. 02: After Brenda has received her make-over and sees herself in the mirror for the first time �
Brenda: �I look completely different��
Make-up Girl: �You�re Welcome�
Brenda then shoots her the dirtiest look, like she was a dog before.

The Closer - Ep. 01

�Thaaank Youuuu� Kyra Sedgewick�s portrayal of Homicide Police Chief Brenda Johnson transcends incredible and reaches astonishing as her Southerner transplant to Los Angeles presides over high-profile murder cases. Everyone on the force despises her and she immediately pushes buttons and pisses off each and every member of her squad. All in a day�s work for this quirky, not quite dainty Southern Belle who�s only concern is solving the crime by any means necessary. She is tough as nails but has this quiet sensibility to her that unnerves you at times because she is so calculating in her methodology and you know she's got a sick mind to figure out all that she does. She is so broken inside but so righteous in her convictions that you never know what she'll come out with next.

She�s a hard ass with a hard body that I presume she recently acquired as there is this mesmerizing scene between her and a box of Krispy Kremes � I got a feeling she recently lost a good amount of weight and limits her calorie intake until a crime is solved, a final reward for a job well done. In the premiere episode it comes in the form of a moon pie or ding-dong or something wrapped in tin foil which sends her to orgasmic heights in the final scene � she�s nuttier than Chinese Chicken Salad and I love her!

It�s like she came straight out of the swamp with that accent. The best line so far is when a male detective working under her asks her why she's being such a "bitch" about the way they're handling a crime scene and she looks at him dead in the eyes with her doughy Southern Accent and says "If I liked being called a bitch to my face, I'd still be married" She's amazing! I may love her.

Entourage 6.26.05

The more I watch this show, the more entertained I am. It seems to be getting better with each new episode and the full time additions of Jeremy Piven�s fucking unreal Ari and Debi Mazar�s hellacious Shauna only make me love this entertainment insider more.

Vince, Turtle, and Drama continues to frustrate the hell out of me and I�ve still yet to figure out why Eric hasn�t sat Vince down and screamed at him for being such a jackass with finances and his ultra-extravagant lifestyle choices, not to mention Drama and Turtle�s non-stop encouragement and demand. That being said, the recent Drama storyline and peripheral �has-been� acquaintances have brought me endless joy at the self-mockery on Kevin Dillon�s part. Chris Penn and Ralph Macchio were brilliant in their recent cameos and watching Pauly Shore get tossed on his ass at the Playboy mansion last week was genius. Do you think it hurts to be Kevin Dillon? I mean the character really is his life to some degree. Sad, or is it?

Now its time to forever praise Jeremy Piven and his character Ari. Without a doubt the funniest actor and character on television today. What would you give to see Ari go up against Larry David? Watching the two of them have a conversation would send me into orgasmic fits of laughter. Anyway, Piven is a master! He has taken what could have been a single layered character and turned him into an emasculated yet macho, sarcastic yet caring-emotional rollercoaster of a man; when he left his therapy session and went on the storm of the century over the James Cameron news it was almost unwatchable because you knew he was about to lose it. He went from complete uncontrollable rage to elation as he collapses against his phone with such intensity and controlled acting ability that if he is not nominated for an Emmy, it�s an injustice.

As much as I love Samarie Armstrong (still miss you Anna) and her portrayal of Emily (coming back next week!!!!), this new guy Lloyd is beyond funny. His rant about Hollywood was dead-on and his nervous yet competent composure makes me giggle. When Ari said: �Lloyd come in here, I want to make out with you�� and he willingly says �Coming� I thought I was going to die. I�d kill to make out with Jeremy Piven, hot business.

Extra Bonus Points for the Mischa Barton slam and the Smallville dis (�Where�s Smallville?�)

also, try out: www.lhiob.com

Degrassi's Every Episode Ever Marathon - The N

And you wonder if I�m obsessed? I have all of the Degrassi DVD sets that have been made available (Degrassi Junior High Season 1&2 and Degrassi: The Next Generation Seasons 1&2) yet I still have to watch The N�s Every Episode Ever marathon! On Sunday alone I must have watched at least 3 hours of Degrassi and when I went to bed there were still a good 6 hours left of teen angsty goodness to behold. If you missed this (Matt) you�ve done yourself an injustice.

Summer Premiere of Degrassi: TNG�s continued 4th Season is this Friday and my poor lil Emma will be giving hummers down by the ravine. Poor Emma gets an STD and Bitch-Slapped by Alex - all in day�s work! Stay Tuned for the episodes with Kevin Smith and Alanis Morissette! Degrassi, it still goes there.

Trapped: Buried Alive - A Lifetime Movie

God Bless Lifetime and their incredibly addicting but heinous films starring the has-beens of eras not so distant. Sunday afternoon as the Boston sauna reached the low 90�s, I settled into the air conditioned confines of my living room to watch Gabrielle Carteris and Jack �Frisco� Wagner battle bad dialogue, horrible costars, cheesy special effects, shotty Ski Lodge construction, and not one but two deadly avalanches! It was �All I Need�-ed on a hot Sunday afternoon. Hey, Lifetime is not just for Women ya know. Wait� Damn.

Vacation Catch Up

Our FauxVo was up to 75% full when we returned from vacation on Saturday. That is a lot of television. Every weekday it records �Angel� and as of this morning, I was only caught up to the June 10th episode, so there is still a good amount of vampire loving to view. I also started recording �The Closer� and repeats of �Veronica Mars� which are not being aired in order and that is of the utmost annoyance. Not to mention that I�m 3 weeks behind on �The 4400.� I need a vacation to watch television � can you get days off for that?

The 4400 - Season 1

The 4400 - Season 1
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

I FauxVo�d the first season of The 4400 because I never made it past the first two episodes when it originally aired last summer. Not that I didn�t like it, it�s just that I didn�t continue for one reason or another. Well, with Season 2 now airing, I had to catch up on those abductees and Homeland Security�s favorite agents.

Now having seen all 6 hours of Season 1 I am completely addicted. The story is not original and in the end revealed to be somewhat disappointing but it is still great fun to watch the endless stories of these abductees. As it goes, for decades these 4400 were being taken and they all were returned one night to a lake outside Seattle, WA. What was once thought to be a meteor heading directly for Earth turned out to be a ball of light (Rimbaldi Red Ball sized) containing the 4400 to everyone�s surprise! Caught on live television, the 4400 all appeared from the fog looking seemingly unscathed.

Placed into quarantine for observation, the 4400 were released to their families and loved ones if they were still living or wanted to show up after a couple months. Shortly, its apparent that although physically they are unchanged from the day they were taken, they�ve been somehow enhanced with special powers. Death and destruction ensue but its soon clear that amidst all the death there is good coming from the 4400. One death stops an Enron sized scandal, another causes change within a community causing them to take back their streets. Sure some of the 4400 die along with some civilians but isn�t that the way of the world?

Enter Billy Campbell playing Jordan Collier, one of the creepiest roles on television today. I�m talking scarier than Tom Cruise on Oprah. He�s a businessman and one of the 4400. He builds a center for the 4400 after there is severe public backlash against the 4400, placing all returnees in danger. The Center and his do-gooder motives come into question by Season�s end.

Did I mention there is an unborn baby with special powers? Well, Lily an abductee from 1993 found out while in quarantine that she was preggers. The kicker? She wasn�t sleeping with anyone before she was abducted. Oh, alien baby much? The bigger kicker? Her grandmother�s lover from the 50�s is also one of the 4400. Jeepers Creepers, wouldn�t you know that her name was Lily too? Scary stuff here.

In the final moments, we learn that the 4400 were not taken by aliens as once thought but by humans in the future. They�ve been returned to stop a catastrophe that takes place in the future (kinda Terminator-ish).

Some of the acting is not so good, but you can get past that because similar to LOST there are so many returnees to tell stories about (though only a couple are the main focus); every couple hours brought a new character and a new reason for the 4400 to return. There are racial/social/economic/technological undertones to the whole 4400 legacy that cannot go unnoticed but it works well in this context. I cannot wait to catch up and see who arises for Season Two!

30 Days - Ep. 01

30 Days - Ep. 01
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

This is like a world-class documentary series on FX; How'd HBO miss out on this was my first question after watching last night's premiere episode in which the Super-Size Me master and his vegan chef fiance headed to the slums of Columbus, OH to live on minimum wage for thirty days. Thirty Days Folks, thats a long time to be working multiple jobs, suffering without creature comforts like furniture or a bus pass and co-habitating with swarms of ants.

The most humbling and sobering moments of the show are courtesy of their local ER. Twice in one day our two heroes are sent to the Emergency Room for ailments because they cannot afford health care nor can they go any longer without treatment. Vegan Chef comes down with a nasty urinary infection and has to recieve medication not to mention miss out on work which drops their measly earnings into the red. That night after Morgan's ailing wrist becomes grossly enflamed and misshapen he too must make a trip to Rape Central. By episode's end we find out that for her to enter the ER it was a flat $300 then expenses added on. For Morgan, it was a flat fee of $500 to walk in and they screwed him for an ace bandage which cost $60. What? It really enraged me to see how the healthcare system exploits people and continues to thrive on the misfortune of its clientele. In total they had over $1,200 in medical expenses for one day and neither of them were suffering from what would be considered "major" health issues. They estimated that with their current minimum wage jobs it would take them over 3 months to pay the medical bills and that was with the fear of falling behind on their other bills.

It's disgusting and revolutionarily frightening to see how easily minimum wage workers and families can lose everything and never come out on top. These two were white citizens with college educations living on the wrong side of the tracks in what was once a squaters den above a crack house, working three jobs (sometimes 18 hours a day), that almost had a breakdown when dinner cost $20! It's sickening. They ended their 30 day stint almost $1,500 in debt. That is fucking reality folks.

Dancing With The Stars 6.15.05

Dancing With The Stars 6.15.05
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

I can't lie. In Week 3 I was intrigued and I find it oddly compelling. I couldn't be gayer.

The Comeback - Ep. 2

The Comeback - Ep. 2
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

"Note to Self... I DO Need To See That!" It's just so god damned awkward that you can't turn away. I love Lisa Kudrow, she was always my favorite "Friend" and she has proven herself outside the television realm. "Opposite of Sex" is genius as is "Romy and Michelle" she's just fun to watch in any capacity. Her startling out of touch and insecure portrayal of Valerie the has been making the measliest comeback to network television is a pure delight of horror proportions to watch! Cringe worthy at times but in a good way!

MTV Movie Awards � Katie/Tom

crazyandkatie
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

Katie Holmes, look out behind you � these men in the white lab coats are here to help you. Boys, her gaunter than ever pasty white arms will not stay within that straight-jacket, one tug could dislocate a joint and those once supple twigs are loose. Bring out those plastic restraints that zip closed-tightly� something Tom Cruise can�t chew through with his off centered humongous front tooth.

Those two should be sent to an Island far-far-away until Joey Potter comes to her senses or Tom Cruise dies; both are preferred. The Oprah debacle was a sight unlike any other. In horror and self-serving promotion it was hard to watch for the 90 times �The Soup� and �Best Week Ever� played it. Katie was looking disoriented and embarrassed, it was sad. His behavior does not require comment.

Then came the endless self-mockery on the talk show circuit. Tommy can ya hear me? We don�t care. Next, Tom Cruise gets in a spat with Brooke Shields and Brooke retaliates by leaving a child ticket at the box office of her London play so Cruise can bring Ms. Potter along.

When I heard that Katie Holmes would be presenting Chicklet-Center-Tooth-All-Crooked Cruise with a lifetime achievement award, I was over it before it began. This was going to be hands-down the worst moment of the awards show and it did not disappoint.

My first thought was could she be skinnier? Did Lindsay Lohan change outfits during the break? Katie Holmes is way bulimic. Evident by my second thought, look at her snaggle teeth? What�s up Jewel? She must have opened too many tin cans whilst down on the Creek. Third thought? This mocking of the Oprah incident is almost as tired as her half closed/trance-like eyes. Did the Scientologists do her eye make-up? Aliens are good for some things; make-up is obviously not one of them.

Her performance was shotty at best and she seemed like a zombie out there. What have they done with Joey Potter? For real, when she was with Chris Klein she was always well composed, fully fed, flawlessly coiffed and the make-up wholesome. Wasn�t she embarrassed knowing that Nicole Kidman was there not 50 feet from her? Kidman�s got all Tommy�s little tricks and secrets down. This only furthers my opinion that Kidman�s best move both personally and professionally was to dump half-pint space-boy when she did.

What a hoax this �couple� is. It�s bothersome to the world. Brad and Angelina should be thanking their lucky stars that someone crazier and more worrisome came along to squelch their thunder before �Mr. & Mrs. Smith� opened this weekend. Is there any chance that the backlash will kill �War of the Worlds�? I hope so.

www.freekatie.net

MTV Movie Awards � The Best of the Rest

thatkiss
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

There are really only a couple things worth mentioning and two of them involve the same actress. Rachel McAdams is now my favorite actress on earth. If you read regularly, you will know that I was obsessed with Marissa Cooper�s �Best Movie of All Time,� The Notebook. In Mean Girls she was Heatherific and stole the show.

#1: She deserved to win more awards than Lohan and did! She mentioned �fetch� and was completely comfy on stage for such a newbie. She was demur and eloquent while Lohan came across as a dazed and confused white-washed Gumby.

#2: Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling *breathe-breathe-breathe* win for Best Kiss. Not only do they once again get to share electric screen-time, but they reenacted one of the hottest kisses I�ve ever seen on film and TOPPED IT! Their crazy love kiss (almost in Dirty Dancing Baby Run and I�ll Catch You fashion) was so hot I almost got wood. It instantly made me want to run out and buy the DVD after stalking both of them to the ends of the earth.

#3: The Breakfast Club tribute. I don�t know how to say this without sounding like a psycho, but I got teary-eyed during Yellowcard�s incredibly hypnotic cover of �Don�t You Forget About Me.� The nostalgic film clips mixed into the song had me at hello with it�s Jerry McGuire/Bruce Sprinsteen-esque sentimentality. Tears people, tears! It was incredible to see Claire, Allison, and Brian onstage all grown up and being so touched and appreciative of their 20 year accomplishment. It�s true, this film has stood the test of time and was surprisingly in-touch and relevant to the teen experience. This was the only true moment this show has ever produced. Amazing.

Six Feet Under - Season 5- Ep. 01

Six Feet Under - Season 5- Ep. 01
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

Ya know, I just want to be happy for these folks and it gets increasingly harder to like them or have any kind of hope for them. I have always loved the very flawed but always enjoyable Fisher clan and the antics they get themselves into. Knowing that this is the last season makes me want to have high hopes for them and that they might possibly find some sense of happiness and/or closure to certain aspects of their fucked up lives.

Nate has always been my favorite. He is so flawed and emotionally scarred but seems good intentioned and good hearted if not occasionally self-absorbed, but you want to root for him! He�s a victim of circumstance for the most part; yes he�s made some bad choices; yes, he�s doing way too much pot for being a Father, and yes he�s at times a sexaholic but does he deserve all the horrible things that have happened and continue to plague his life? A miscarriage on your wedding day? Give a brotha a break! Throw him some sense of happiness folks; I just hope that it doesn�t come in his form on a slab come series finale time. That would be horrible if not somewhat fitting. Damn. And was there not a glimmer of sanity and hope in their post-bridal meltdown moments over looking the water. She almost seemed together. Who knew?

David and Keith bore me to no end with their hopeless and helpless need for heterosexual norms. I�m so over it. I wish David would finally dump Keith and get on with his life. David is so screwed up though that he will never feel happiness and acceptance without a mundane status-qua lifestyle. I�m not saying I want him to go out and get crazy, but find someone more emotionally available and on par with your needs. The process of adopting or surrogating a baby is a huge step, one that is only in David�s brain because of Keith�s need for fulfillment on a heterosexual standard level. A kid? For real? You two would be better of with a puppy first. A kid? These bitches are crazy.

Speaking of crazy, Ruth is unraveling while her certifiable and hospitalized husband George is coming across as the normal one in the marriage and he just had electro-shock therapy, go figure. Girl needs a therapist and how! Get thee to a clinic Ruth. Call Bettina (Kathy Bates) and have another hippy-lesbo retreat; find your center Ruth and pull your shit together. No wonder these damn Fisher kids are so messed up. Mother is a hysteric with maternal instincts/needs reaching well beyond the norm.

Claire, honey lay off the pot and get as far away from crazy-ass Billy Chenoworth as possible. Is she on the Nicole Ritchie diet b/c she�s lookin� svelt in a good way. I likey. I�m just so over the whole bratty artist routine. It�s so tired and trite. I hate �artists�!

I just love this show and hope that they find some redemption before the true despair and depression kicks in that you know is due for a finale about funeral home habitants.

TV Characters That Should Have Gay Friends Pt. 7 - Veronica Mars

Need a Gay - Veronica Mars
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

Veronica Mars � Granted I�ve only seen two episodes of our self-aware private dicket in training so its possible the gays come later in the series, but darn it Veronica Mars would have been my best friend in High School. BFF�s for life! Her wit, charm, wispy hairstyle, and fashion sense alone have prepped her for teen drag queen emulation already. Can she not have a alternative punk homo by her side as well? You don�t know! The gays could be helpful in solving crimes; they have all the best gossip in town and have already become best friends with all the trouble makers� girlfriends. Get on it VMars!

TV Characters That Should Have Gay Friends Pt. 6 - Lost

Need a Gay - Lost
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

Kate � Don�t you think that there are now legions if not throngs of lesbians out there in love with Evangeline Lily? Don�t you think there are gaggles of gay men out there that would like to be stranded on that island with her and her deep dark killing secrets as well as he always silky tresses? I do. You�re telling me that with how big Gay Mardi Gras type crap is in Australia there was not one feather boa hot pantsed boy on that flight or a flannel wearing mechanic of a bull dyke in the seat next to him? I doubt it. Season Two better reveal some sun loving Streisand obsessin� tool belt wearing gays. I won�t even complain if he/she gets eaten by the monster.

TV Characters That Should Have Gay Friends Pt. 5 - Grey's Anatomy

Need a Gay - Grey's Anatomy
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

Dr. Shephard - He�s a sexy and successful surgeon from the big city with beautiful eyes, good hair, an incredible smile, and the charisma of a Casanova. You�re telling me he knows not one gay man? Is the medical profession like the military? Don�t ask, don�t tell? That�s sad because Patrick Dempsey has been one of my fantasies since middle school. You didn�t ask, but I told!

TV Characters That Should Have Gay Friends Pt. 4 - Everwood

Need a Gay - Everwood
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

Amy � How is it possible that the cutest and coolest chick at Everwood High does not have a gay friend? She has Hannah tagging around her all day in her studious outfits and uptight allure, is this holding the gays back from being Amy�s friend? I just find it hard to believe that someone as open minded, intelligent, and sassy as Amy Abbott does not have at least one queen in her court. It�s a shame.
Edna � Edna�s so butch she�s practically a lesbian. With her stunning curves, sharp tongue, and affinity for town gossip you�re telling me she�s got no gay�s hiding in her medicine chest? Please, EDNA is queer bait if I�ve ever seen it. I love me some Edna, a straight-shooting, rough and tumble sass bucket of a woman with more opinions than a pack of queers at a cotillion. Edna get thee a gay.
Nina � The woman was married to a gay man for God�s sake; she�s obviously ripe for some limp friends. Once a gay magnet always a gay magnet. Don�t swear off a whole demographic because you made poor choices in mating and ignored the signs that your man liked a little more than a HARD drink in the evenings. Give them a try on a friendship basis, you might actually enjoy their company again. Opening that new swanky revamped diner should draw them in for d�cor alone. And what respecting gay man wouldn�t want to be around Nina with her hunky live in boyfriend, Dr. Dimples?

TV Characters That Should Have Gay Friends Pt. 3 - Desperate Housewives

Need a Gay - Desparate Housewives
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

Edie � Is she not already the embodiment of gay iconography? Tall, sexy, blonde, fearless, flawless, sexual, outspoken, and jaded to the gills! Not to mention �Knots Landing,� Hello?
Lynette � In another life I�m pretty sure Lynette would have had a gaggle of gays flitting about her. Can�t you see her in college being the ball busting go getter with a fleet of gangly boys doing her dirty work ensuring her success? I can but those kids have gotz ta go!
Gabby � She�s a model with a hard bodied lawn boy toy. She�s the wet dream of gaydom. Hot Latina Model goes suburban for luxurious money money money. She�s a dirty gay old man�s trophy houseboy in pumps without the cleaning skills.
Bree � If she wasn�t so repressed and uptight she could have the biggest bunch of gays at her functions, think of the ranks she could climb on the social ladder with all the best gays in attendance. We love Martha Stewart and Bree is basically the pre-jail with a little more psychoses Martha that happens to have an NRA card! Marcia Cross has been my favorite since her brilliant days as Crazy Kimberly blowing up �Melrose� and exposing one hell of a scar all the way through her Doctors Without Borders suffering from AIDS on �Everwood.� If we can�t love and console Bree, who can?

TV Characters That Should Have Gay Friends Pt. 2 - Arrested Development

Need a Gay - Arrested Development
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

Maeby � If Veronica Mars is my functional and somewhat wholesome best friend in mock-television High School, then Maeby Bluth is my dysfunctional scheming trouble making hag. She�s an entrepreneur (see her jump from High School student to Movie Studio Exec in a single bound), a campaigner, a joiner, and has come to terms with her effeminate Father. She accepts people for who they are but has the wisdom to mock them behind their backs, a girl after my own heart. BFFx2!
Lucille #1 � Lucille #2 is the obvious choice with her being Liza Friggin� Minnelli and all, but I�ll take the booze hound, wretch of a Mother, Jessica Walters any day. Lucille #1 wants and gets everything she feels entitled to. If she doesn�t get her way, she�ll adapt a new child to spite the old one. She�s never lifted a finger other than to stir a martini and will renovate your apartment without your knowing if you mess with her lifestyle. Hell, she even likes to dress her wimpiest son in matching costumes to show up the other rich bitches in town regardless of your humiliation! That a girl. Lucille #1, I�d be the boy to your Mother any day.

TV Characters That Should Have Gay Friends Pt. 1 - Alias

Need a Gay - Alias
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

The Derevko Sisters � Irina, Katya, Elena� Isabella Rossellini was a model and torchy actress with androgynous looks; Sonia Braga starred in the beloved gay film Kiss of the Spider Woman and bedded Kim Cattral same-sex style on �Sex and the City;� Lena Olin has been a diva since day one and her tough persona and bitchy antics make great fodder for the pop cultural scholars we�ve been training to become. All three of these women represent independence and a killer (literally) instinct that somehow resonates with gay men. It�s very possible there was a Russian potato of a boy running with them as they learned the best in spy fighting and techno wizardry. If nothing else, he designed some of their leather get ups made famous on �Alias.�

VH1's Strip Tease

VH1's Strip Tease
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

Let�s get it out in the open; I�m in love with a girl. Her name is Rachel Perry and she�s a VH1 personality whom I�ve secretly obsessed over for about 3 years now. She is way hot, super cool, into indie ideals, and a hell of wise-ass. How could I not watch a whole show with her as host manhandling guys that want to be strippers? �Strip Search� is one of the many VH1 reality shows about to kill us this summer. Granted this is not high concept or culturally relative in any way, its just fun to watch guys get naked while I get to watch Rachel Perry be hot and funny.
Favorite Moment of Episode 1: Rachel pulling co-host Billy (who I was sure was a big queen but is actually just Australian � he�s married with two kids) aside to express her almost school-girl giddiness about a contestant. �I loooove him�� she coos in Billy�s ear. Moments later she proclaims: �Out of all the guys we�ve auditioned, this is the only one I�d have sex with�� That�s hot.

Radio Free Roscoe - The Series Finale

Radio Free Roscoe - The Series Finale
Originally uploaded by duckydale.

Lily, Travis, Ray and Robbie� RFR, we barely knew ya! Jon and I happened upon RFR in the last third of their first season and it was a cute show with independent sensibility. 4 High School friends created an alternative, underground pirate radio station to fight the status quo and the social norms of their school Roscoe High while battling their own inner clique-ness, love triangles, and sense of self.

I enjoyed the show; while it was no �Must See� like Degrassi but as it was scheduled after Degrassi on Friday nights, so we usually caught RFR and learned to love it or at least ignore some of the bad acting for the stand out stars and RFR�s affinity for unknown emo/alt bands (both live and on the air).

I always loved Lily Randall played by the soon to be superstar Kate Todd. She�s pretty but not model pretty, she�s talented but not pretentious, she�s a musician but not a musician turned actor, she�s the breakout star of RFR and will hopefully one day be a huge success as she was the most believable and emotionally in tune actor on the show and the one every boy wanted to date and every girl wanted to be. She had a love triangle with her best friend Ray and the newcomer to Roscoe, Travis (The worldly eccentric with mad musical knowledge and a bad-boy attitude. Not to mention he has the largest chest on a man I�ve ever seen. I�m not talking manboobs, but he just has this massive chest. I don�t think it muscle either though as he�s just not a big guy. I don�t know what�s going on there)�

Lily eventually went on to choose neither in Season 2 and dated RFR�s nemesis River Pierce (who literally always referred to himself as River Pierce. It was a Jordan Catalano homage I think as you never just heard �River� and I loved it). In the finale though, she chose her true-love Ray (well at least until senior year when they break up for college romps and road-side groupies).

Lily�s band �No Man�s Land� provided much of the fun and tension this year as they worked their way from coffee house gigs to opening for larger venues after winning local contests. As RFR came to a close, No Man�s Land was just chosen to headline a North American Mall Tour for the summer, leaving the state of their underground empire at peril.

Also throwing RFR into oblivion was the announcement that unusually large chested Travis Strong would be moving back to Japan at the end of the school year. It was a sad goodbye for Travis and his whacked out girlfriend and No Man�s Land bassist Parker. Parker was introduced at the end of season one, the new girl in school and quickly became Lily�s best friend and the wit-machine in the RFR dialogue department. She was kooky, out of control and fun to watch. Her relationship with Travis was short but sweet and welcomed as that whole Lily-Ray-Travis thing was getting old. Parker had a Nanny Haines-ism for each episode where she spouted non-sensical wisdom from her Nanny Haines. It was an on-going gag that actually worked and was usually funny. Who ever wrote for Parker needed to take their skills to every character as it would have improved RFR�s credibility and maybe given them another year.

All in all, it was a fun show that tried to show kids there is an alternative and that the alternative does not always mean you have to be a lonely depressed teen. It was about finding your individuality and expressing your opinions to prove you have a voice. RFR signed off the air after a mere two seasons leaving us with only 52 episodes of fun. Can you imagine how I will be when Degrassi decides to end this next generation? I will jump from a rooftop with despair. I love me some Degrassi.

Angel - The Series

Angel - The Series
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When �Angel� was spun-off I watched the show for a couple weeks at the most. It just didn�t have that �Buffy� vibe anymore because it focused too much on demon-of-the-week adventures and not the Buffy-verse we�d grown to love � psychotically! There was some Irish guy that had visions then the actor killed himself in real-life so they made his character transfer his powers to Cordy in his final hoorah� I just couldn�t get into it for some reason.

I did however catch the episode I like to call �The Episode of Tears� in which Buffy comes to LA and they have one day together. One fateful day with Angel basking in the sun on the beach (my crying at the sight of him in the sun and Buffy�s happiness), one fateful day that would crush fans world-wide as it�s revealed that Buffy could never remember their one true day together, furthering her distance from Angel and driving yet another stake of torment into his already frozen heart. It made me weep folks, it was damn good!

From that point on, I watched the cross-over episodes only. Buffy came to LA again, Willow and Oz made some visits separately. Then came Faith. I caught her soul regaining episodes from Season One because, as you know� You gotta have Faith.

Flash-forward to me catching the Pylea episodes where Fred is introduced as a slave and Cordy becomes Queen of Pylea (Season Two I believe); I was intrigued by the social commentary but it was scheduled against some other show I watched. Couldn�t commit.

Then I heard that Angel had a kid with Darla and that somehow in the matter of episodes that kid became like 18 years old and he had longish hair which annoyed me. Couldn�t watch.

Jump to hearing that Gina Torres (of �Firefly� and �Alias� fame) would be guesting and I was there! I witnessed some of the most mesmerizing episodic television in years when Cordy gave birth to a God named Jasmine. It showcased Amy Acker�s Fred as the strong one and I immediately connected with her in these Invasion of the Body Snatchers-ish episodes. I had thought Fred to be annoying in those Pylea episodes and this was really my first real interaction with her true character. I loved her. Wait, is that Cordy in a coma? Damn, my girl was written out of the show and with bad hair and a pot-belly after having slept with Angel�s son. I�m so confused. Oh, she�s preggers in real life. What the hell have I missed?

I made the effort to catch as many episodes as possible after Jasmine came to town and it was revealed on internet sites that Spike would make his way to �Angel� after �Buffy� ends her run. Sweet! I can still get my Whed-On. I saw Angel get rid of his son, Cordy die from her Coma and what the hay? Is that Wolfram & Hart The same W&H I remembered from the few episodes in Season One I watched? Huh.

Season Five began with a bang! Spike was an instant hit as Angel and Co. took over Wolfram & Hart, the evil law firm I didn�t realize still played a part in the show. Harmony came on as Angel�s secretary and the much needed Valley Girl comedy in Cordy�s absence. I mean, hello they were once best friends she was the perfect choice not to mention a perfect thorn in Spike�s ghostly side given their strained past.

I quickly became attached to those new gang of Scoobies. I always liked the big gay green guy (Lorne) so it was great to see him shine as a wise-crackin� regular. Everyone gelled and I obviously missed something in those three or four years I didn�t give this show a chance. Fred was killed and turned into this Big Blue demon God named Ilyria. Fred�s demise was surprisingly upsetting for me (as well as Wesley and Gunn) and my love of Amy Acker solidified. When she was put in the position to pretend to be her old self for Fred�s parents, I �bout cried my eyes out. It was painful for Wesley and myself. It was an unselfish thing on Ilyria�s part and gave hope that Fred still lives in some ways. The ending was incredible as the �Shanshoo Prophecy� was in question (Spike or Angel) and the apocalypse began and assumedly raged on well after the series ended.

I was sad to have missed out on so much of what was obviously not just a companion piece to �Buffy� but a full blown series of its own. Double damn.

Hey looky-loo TNT airs �Angel� like 1000 times a day! I realized that although it�s shown at both 8am and 5pm each day that they do not run in order. So if I watch the 8am it could be from Season Four, but the 5pm could be Season One. That�s damn confusing! Finally I figured out the pattern. TNT is running them in order during their respective times. So about a month ago I realized that the 5pm �Angel� was toward the end of Season One and the only reason I realized this was because the interactive FauxVo guide was listing an episode named �Five By Five� and I thought well hell FauxVo, that�s a Faith episode!!! Further investigation into the FauxVo guide told me that the 5pm airings were in order, continuing on with Season One and leading into Season Two. Score! Set a series record for the 5pm on my FauxVo and we have a renewed fan!

So far, I am about half way through Season Two and am reluctant to say that �Angel� may very well be as good if not more cohesive than �Buffy,� my first love. I know, those 7 �Buffy� dvd box-sets on my shelf say differently, but having now watched a good fifteen to twenty episodes of �Angel� I�m ravished with its Whedon goodness. There is just so much more story to �Angel� than there was to �Buffy.� �Buffy� was more about the relationships and the evolving if not revolving storyline year to year. In just the few episodes I�ve seen, I�ve learned more about Angel, Spike, Darla, and Drusilla than I did in all the time they were on �Buffy� and why they are who they are. It not only supports what started on �Buffy� it surpasses it in its mythology and lore. It�s incredibly rich in its own history, compelling, and has a clear objective now that I�m watching. The goal has always been stopping Wolfram & Hart and the impending Apocalypse while finding redemption for Angel. Having seen the final season and how this show ends, it is working towards that goal(s) from Season One and never falters.

On �Buffy� there was always the Big Bad of the Season whether it was the Master (who reappears in �Angel� again with incredible backstory � he sired Darla!), The Mayor, Adam, Glory, the Troika, Evil Willow, or The First. They were great but there was never a real cohesion between them. Yes, in retrospect the show was incredibly well planned and realizing that The First and the Bringers were mentioned in Season One or Two just adds to the fact that the Buffyverse was wide yet narrow in scope. It was always intelligent, always engaging, dramatic, and funny it�s �Buffy� for Christ sake - all I�m saying is that �Angel� is far better than I gave it credit for.

Favorite Moment So Far: Season Two � Episode 9 �The Trial�: Episodes earlier, Darla is brought back as a human by Wolfram & Hart then told she is dying from Syphilis (the disease she carried before becoming a vamp 400 years prior). She tries to get Angel to turn her into a vamp again to end her torture but he refuses. She goes out in search of another sire but eventually is brow beaten by Angel into accepting her fate, she has reconciled that she will finally die. Tormented by the choice to save her or let her die, he competes in the Trials which if he succeeds, gives her eternal life. He does succeed but only to discover that because she has already been brought back to life once, nothing can be done.
Later, Angel is comforting her in the run down Motel she�s hiding out from W&H in when Lindsay (W&H) shows up to alter their plans. As thugs beat the hell out of Angel and hold him down, others take hold of Darla. In true Whedon dramatic fashion in drifts W&H�s check mate� Drusilla! The fear and despair in Angel�s eyes cannot hold back his tears as Dru sinks her teeth into Darla�s pasty white neck! IT�S AMAZING! I fucking love it! One person�s redemption ripped from them leaving Angel alone once again. I re-watched that scene about 10 times because it�s just so perfect.

Veronica Mars - Episodes 1.01 - 1.02

Veronica Mars - Episodes 1.01 - 1.02
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Easily I slipped into the slick ass groove I�d missed all year with this show. I instantly connected to the glamour girl gone alt-chick who�s been sidelined by her once snobbish rich friends after her Police Chief Father blames the murder of her best friend on her best friend�s Father, who happens to be the most rich and powerful player in all of Neptune, CA.
Veronica Mars is a now thick-skinned outsider at Neptune High facing daily ridicule and torment by those who once were her clique by day and the brains and balls behind her Father�s private investigation company by afternoon and night. Once the darling of the social scene (with long blonde hair), Veronica�s life revolved around her life with Lilly and Duncan Kane.
Now the outcast, she befriends the new boy in town, a gawky boy named Wallace, saves his ass a few times and eventually wins over the local gang leader Weevil (who is joyous in his badass with a heart personality) only to place fear back in her bullyish ex-friend Logan (whose dating Paris Hilton is Episode 2 until he finds out she�s been dippin her Carl�s Jr. Burger into Taco Bell territory). Logan is portrayed as this Frat-boy bully like character, too bad he�s portrayed by this quasi-dorkish actor. His character has to change, right? I don�t believe this kid�s the envy or fear of anyone in Neptune.
Veronica used to date her dead best friend�s (Lilly) brother Duncan Kane who is the brooding silent type that may or may not still pine for her even though both of their families are hell bent on destroying each others lives. Throw into the mix a drunk of a Mother that is apparently sleeping with the number one suspect in the case and you�ve got more family drama than the Hatfield�s and McCoy�s.
VMars is sassy, spunky, not afraid of a challenge, and bucks the High School class system daily. She�s my kind of girl. I cannot wait to go deeper into this stellar series.