duckyxdale

4/28/2006

My Dirty Little Secret... CHEERLEADER NATION!



Oh who am I kidding, there is not a person on here reading that doesn�t think I�d be a fan of Lifetime�s CHEERLEADER NATION! I am after all gay and worship Bring It On so it was kind of a given, no?

I�ve watched since week one, not even knowing what channel Lifetime is on my box, (thank god for interactive on screen guides, they make guilty pleasures so much more enjoyable by keeping your secrets) and have loved every damn second of it! From meeting the girls to meeting the crazy ass parents to meeting the gotta be gay coach I�ve stuck with it, well like nailing a 360 Heel Stretch!

Competitive Cheerleading is so much a sport it amazes me that some of these girls are as �husky� (to be kind) as they are. There is so much tumbling, running, flipping, yelling, and flying in the air that you�d think a few of these chicks would be in better shape (Ashley I�m talking to you).

I love that this show�s reality actually mirrors that of Bring It On in that the cheerleaders are the superstars at a football game and the footballers just lose it all. These chicks are the trophy winners at Dunbar High and they know it� I want to be their friends.

Let�s run down the girls I know and love:

Alexa and her Senior Sister Megan (who just turned 18 boys � her Bday was 4/13). These two make me happy and sad at the same time. Alexa is the younger in the shadows of her big sister-sister and that breaks my heart. The Mom (who is an amazing character for the sequel to Holly Hunters �The Positively True Adventures of the Alleged Texas Cheerleader-Murdering Mom�) has always showed favoritism to Megan and on camera has expressed her best friend status and more love of Megan. It�s way harsh because Alexa knows this and has a complex because of it� ya think? But in the end, they really love and support each other and had a super heart-felt moment last week when Megan decided to go to a college closer to home and they both confessed that it would make them happier than if she went away. A tear.

Can we talk about Megan for a second? Last week she was practicing her Full when she panicked and froze midair leading to the scariest but most must-watch scene so far this season. She is hauling ass btw and midflip freezes up and goes flying through the air and slams on her back and neck with such velocity I thought for sure she was dead. All I could think of was that crazy ass Kristi Yamaoka that was all over the news cheering from the stretcher a few weeks back after landing on her head? Carver anyone? Sorry another BIO reference! Anyhoo, it�s the most painful but fascinating thing to watch and Lifetime played the shit out of that clip from like 18 camera angles Megan slams into the ground over and over and over and over and over again. I screamed and cringed each time it was so hardcore. Then two seconds later she catches her breathe, wipes the tears from her eyes, tries it again and NAILS IT! Yeah, that�s how they roll at Dunbar!

Amanda is the freshman that somehow made it onto the Varsity Squad. She�s kinda bland but her Mom again is waaaaay into the whole cheerleading scene. Amanda�s the type of girl that could either befriend a serial killer or become a straight laced student. Watching her foreign language class however was one of the funniest things ever. I know they just edited it down to make her out to be a bumbling tard but it was still damn funny. Girl needs to pay more attention and take cheerleading more seriously or one of those Mom�s will whack her faster than she can cheer �We Are D-U-N-B-A-R�

Ashley is the fag hag of the group. She�s the cute chunky one that somehow just doesn�t fit in with the rest of them. She has a boyfriend but it doesn�t seem serious. Maybe that�s because he�s a moppy haired alternaboy who probably is as into spirit fingers as she is. I do love her though. And the eye lashes? Maybelline could do a whole ad with those lashes, they are long separated and black! Girl knows her way around a brush.

Ayrica is the girl on the squad with a 4.2 average. Yeah, 4.2 GPA. Is that extra credit? Where do those extra .2 points come from? I don�t quite get that but what I do get is that her family is lazy, demanding, and a real pain in my ass. They makes me so mad! She has to get up every morning at like 4:30am to help with housework, getting her 2 or 3 rugrat sisters up and ready, making breakfast, feeding, clothing, and bathing those little brats all before she has to get ready herself for cheerleading practice, homework, and then school (which is then followed by 3 hours of cheerleading practice at night) only to begin the routine again in the morning. Her parents ride her hard and she�s �bout at the end of that patience rope. She�s so smart she knows how the school manipulates her, how her parents manipulate her, etc. and she�s one to bring in a pipe bomb� she�s up at 4:30am folks, do not underestimate the skills of a 4.2 GPA cheerleader. They�re peppy and perky, yet resourceful.

This brings us to Chelsea, my favorite bad girl with the bleached hair of straw and scowl to scare a pitbull! Chelsea is a pain in the effing ass high school girl. She�s entitled, bored, and stuck up! Oh, did I mention that her Mom rides a Hog and Chelsea is basically white trash? LOVE HER! She�s such a bitch. She actually said on camera that she only wanted her Mom to come to Nationals so that she could buy her stuff. She didn�t care about support, she just wanted free stuff from Mom. Its crushing to see that parent/daughter dynamic but amazing to watch! This girl will be preggers before 20 and living in a trailer. You go Chelsea!

Kaitlin is the captain of the squad and happens to be the daughter of the other �The Positively True Adventures of the Alleged Texas Cheerleader-Murdering Mom� Mom of the bunch. Kaitlin�s great, dedicated, smart� basically boring. But her Mom, Teresa, is the ultimate in ShowMoms! You�d think she was one of the cheerleaders with how much she sticks her nose in all of it. When Saleem, the gotta be gay Coach decided to not give the senior girls their presents before Nationals (like they have every year prior), Teresa started a witch hunt! She ranted up and down, had meetings about it, started a lynch mob! When she later told her daughter, you know� the one cheering and the one involved in getting a present, Kaitlin shot back �SO?� It was a great moment in television history. The ultimate shutdown!

Katie�s the jock turned Cheerleader and if I was one of the Dunbar girls that had been on squad for years I�d be ready to take her out at the kneecaps. When the Lifetime Cheerleader Nation website loads, the first picture shown is with Katie in the middle like the leader. I bet your ass Chelsea�s already plotting on how to take her out! I like Katie, she�s way into it now and she�s just so damned perky!

Nicole is the fake and bake girl that during her confessionals could have stepped out of a John Hughes movie with her flipped up pastel/neon polo and fried curly hairsprayed hair! She�s dating the biggest tool ever. A total DB.

Now that brings us to Ryan. She�s the Emma (from Degrassi) of the group. She�s the nicest, sweetest thing on earth and you just love her. Those girls must hate her! Her Mom, Donna, is the assistant Coach and a really odd woman. I love Ryan and want her to eventually go to college far far away from Donna. Then Lifetime can have a spin-off show on the real Desperate Housewives of Cheerleading. Donna in the corner smoking cigarettes and boozing it up because her life is over. Run Ryan Run!

Oh and there are like 20 other girls but you never see them at all. They must have boring stable lives, poor pathetic things!

If you�re not watching this show you�re a real idiot.

4/27/2006

Buffy Sing-a-Long TONIGHT!
Coolidge Corner Theatre


For all you Buffy fans out there, one of my employers here in Boston is having their annual Buffy Sing-a-Long tonight! This year there's not just 1 screening either, there are 2 chances to sing your heart out.

"Once More With Feeling" the epic Season 6 musical episode will be played for what is sure to be sold out crowds in its first Coolidge Prime-Time slot! Usually this is reserved for our Midnight shows but because its become so huge over the years and there has been so much demand, we've move it to an earlier time and added additional shows!


Shows are at 7:30 and at 10pm tonight, Thursday April 27th! There will be the usual plastic vampire teeth for all participants and some other goodies to help get the mustard out! No Bunnies please, its upsetting enough that Anya was sliced in half we don't need to upset her any further.

Here is the audience participation sheet (click to make bigger):




See you tonight!

Holy Frakkin' Shit!

It's Battlestar Version B.C. (Before Cylon)! Sci-Fi has announced a new series called "Caprica" which tells the story of the the 12 colonies prior to Cyclon invasion. According to reports:

"Caprica" will be set more than 50 years prior to the events of "Battlestar Galactica" and focus on the lives of two families -- the Adamas (ancestors of future Galactica commander William) and the Graystones. Humankind's Twelve Colonies are at peace and on the verge of a technological breakthrough: the first Cylon.

As "Battlestar Galactica" is about a lot more than space battles, "Caprica" will be as much family drama as sci-fi tale. Remi Aubuchon ("The Lyon's Den," "24") is writing the pilot script; "Galactica" veterans Ronald D. Moore and David Eick will executive produce it.

America's Next Top Comedian ?



I don't know why they've waited this long to turn this show into a comedy act! Danielle, Furonda, and Joanie are just hysterical to listen to. Their commentary on the other contestants, the characters of these girls, and any situation is a welcomed change of pace from the usual ditzy bland girls of previous cycles. Not to mention the unintentional comedy of Jade... that bitch is trippin'!

But back to my comedians, last night D, F, and J were in prime form! America, you are looking at your Final 3! If these three do not come down to a battle in the end, it will be a damn shame.

Danielle on her worries about fixing that gap in her teeth: "At first I was sad about my gap, but then I was like... I'm going to Thailand SUCKA!"

Next Danielle sucked it up and played the mermaid in the net to flawless effect and incredible talkback: "My uterus is as flat as a pancake" Seriously, this one made me do a spit take of Dr. Pepper.

Danielle's other genius moment was in that ridiculous reward massage for Nnenna and Jade. When that Thai lady corrected her placement of the flower petals into the bubble bath she waits until that little woman is gone and starts just dumping that whole basket of petals into the water - I thought, this girl is a friggin' genius! IT WAS FUNNY! I love me some Danielle!

Furonda with that finger massage? High-sterical! She was so not into rubbing down Nnenna and seriously who would? She doesn't like that bitch so why would she want to put any effort into giving her relief. I wonder if that's one of Furonda's rules? Furonda does not do backrubs, massages, or comfort. So say it!

Though she got the boot, Nnenna's "Furonda, I don't have an itch" was quite possibly the funniest part of that whole scene!

Oh and Furonda jumped on the squished bits commentary too when she told the judges about her "womanly parts." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! This is better than any stand up show!

Trya, you can say your name 1000 times in 1000 ways to emphasize the "Ty" sound and not a sane person on earth would make the leap to Thailand... drag queens don't help your cause much sistafriend!

I love Top Model!

4/26/2006

Veronica Mars "Look Who's Stalking" (Part 2)


First off, we've all already been drooling over the Logan/Veronica scenes and with good reason. Kristen Bell and Jason Dohring pulled out probably some of their best acting skills last night. From one of their infamous torment each other with witty banter scenes to Logan checking out Veronica's smoking hotness at the party all the way to Logan's drunken confession of heartbreak we hung on every wet word uttered (and salivated on those unspoken moments between them even more). Watching the two of them run circles around each other verbally is orgasmic; its sexy, sweet, sassy and reminiscent without being over sentimental or predictible. Its HIS GIRL FRIDAY dialogue for a new generation and I can't get enough!

I will never forgive Logan for that final crushing blow to Veronica - it took everything she had to return to him and offer up some kind of reconcillation only to find Kendall slinking around his amazingly hot body. Veronica's last tearful glance at Logan as the elevator door shut was hands down a moment that separates this show from the rest of the pack.

Veronica Mars delivers the goods any way you look at it... Its funny, smart, witty, edgy, dark, complicated, sinister, and mysterious - how this show is not in the Top 10 is beyond me.

Let's have a moment to collect ourselves shall we? DEPUTY LEO IS BACK! I've always had a very very soft spot for Leo - his shy vulnerability and wicked smile have always made me melt... like an M&M I'll melt in his mouth not in his hands. Good God I do love Leo! I have to assume that bringing Leo back for 2 scenes is really only the beginning to a bigger storyline. I hope so at least, he deserves more screen time. Come on, he's legendary and his return led to one of the best quotes of the night:

Gia: "Leonardo D'Amato? God what kind of loser is that?"
Veronica: "Greek/Italian... I used to go out with him!"


While we're on the quote wagon let me once again give major props to Dick Casablancas who shot this zinger across the Alterna-Prom while lugging around a beer ball contraption called The Beer Hog!

Dick: "Hey Shelly... speaking of PORK - wanna meet my hog?"


God he's a piece of work. If he has anything to do with the bus crash I will be sorely disappointed. We cannot lose this comic genius!

Also high on the comedy last night was Mac. Tina Majorino has really become a welcomed addition to the cast and deserves a full time slot in Season 3.

What else? We finally got a frightening glimpse into the legend that is Lucky, the Neptune High Janitor that for some insane reason the Mannings wanted to hook Anorexic Meg up to. Um, people under the stairs much? Gross city! Mayor Woody's buff! Madison Sinclair makes yet another great appearance and faces the witty double entendreau of Veronica for bedding Lamb. Veronica saves Jackie from the now infamous Spit Drink! And we got yet another supposed "throw away" line that is more telling than trash...

Jackie (to her bed ridden Father): "I learned the birds and the bees the hard way, remember?"


I'm chalking this one up there with Beaver's "Sally" comment from "Aint No Magic Mountain High Enough" I don't recall rape stories or sexual promiscuity in her past, do you? Yet another mystery for Season 3?

Oh and Veronica has VD.


OK Magazine asked, "Can Anyone Stop Kellie?" Apparently America Can! I Picked Pickler To Go Home, So I've Done My Part America!

Veronica Mars "Look Who's Stalking" (Part 1)



I took notes last night and unfortch left them at home, its very sad to me. I will however quickly state that in the meantime I effin loved this episode. After the last two episodes which decided to turn our lovely occasionally dark but always sunny in demeanor show into snuff film like areas it was great to see this weeks ep come in with some more character driven and heartbreaking sequences.

Now, I�m not saying that I didn�t shit my pants with excitement when Weevil went there and set up Thumper leading the Fitzpatrick�s to strap him up to a urinal seconds before that sucker imploded. I�m also not complaining that Kendall is turning into quite the trashy mastermind. The tone of these episodes stepped it up to incredibly dark twisted areas and I for one screamed aloud the Degrassi motto: �Veronica Mars � IT GOES THERE!�

Tonight I will update with my comments on �Look Who�s Stalking� including some super way hot Veronica/Logan interaction, the heartbreak involved, as well as another great Dick quote, some genius from Madison Sinclair, and the comic genius of Mac!

American Idol - A Six Pack of Love Songs












So we didn't get to see or hear a Chris Daughtry/McPheever "Can't We Try" duet but we did get to see McPhee's McBeaver when the buttons on her yellow dress popped exposing her undies! HELLO! And the McTits! Wow, the girl is hot business!

As for performances (mostly of the lackluster kind) my top three tonight are as follows:

1. Chris Daughtry - who's version of that Robin
Hood
song was better than the original done by pock marked Brian
Adams. The boy is just smoking hot and his voice was flawless! *My
only complaint was that the camera focused on the guerilla with the hairy
knuckles playing that guitar once too often. Sicka.

2. McTits - I don't care if she didn't match the
power of the original - she was banging hot, the voice was great and there was a
crotch shot! Hello! Who here thinks Whitney could
have pulled out a better performance? Sure if it was a crack-ho
competition I'm sure she could win hands down what with her dirty bathroom,
sweating problem, and lack of teeth not to mention the needles sticking out of
her arms... but in singing the song - McPhee nailed it!

3. Elliott Yamin - He of vice grip teeth sang the
shit out of that song that I'd never heard from a person I'd never heard of who
fathered some girl we'll never hear of again. If for no other reason than
he made Paula's mascara run 'coon style and reduced her to a
wimpering mess all the while Simon sat next to her laughing his
ass off - he deserves to be in the Top 3 this week. You can't script shit
this good folks.


That leaves us with our Bottom 3 folks:
- Pickle is gonna be sucking it all the way back to North Cackalacky tonight if we're lucky.
- Taylor as much as I love that James Ingram song - buddy its time to patrol that soul back to the land of swamps, floods, looting, and quarters that are french.
- Paris, seriously with the hair extensions during your rehearsals.

Oh and can we talk about Andrea Boccelli? Seriously, get some shades buddy. This is turing into Blind Idol this season. If Ray Charles wasn't dead he'd be on next week for christ sake.

4/25/2006


My run in with an ex American Idol -
the strangest Idol of them all!


Ever since Entertainment Weekly ran their article, a "Where are they now" type expose on 10 previous Idols I've been scowering my hood for... wait for it...

JOHN STEVENS!

According to EW, he attends Berklee School of Music here in Boston which happens to be about a 5 minute walk from my house. Since the article was published, everytime I walk down Mass Ave past Berklee I always look for the tall awkward red-head who was so out of place on Idol it wasn't even funny.

I was starting to get discouraged when this past weekend I was walking through The Prudential Center and walking right towards me is the lanky Idol reject himself. Score!



American Idol: Ace is a Jackass or in other words, that bitch is dead!




What I Missed: American Idol

If you heard screams last Wednesday night it wasn�t from my neighbor falling to his death from 5 floors up it was from me loving life now that ACE YOUNG has been nixed from the American Idol competition!!!

It was a long and winding road full of venomous slander and death threats (all on my part) but it all paid off � stupid rosey cheeked euro-trash clothed and perfectly mussed hair was given the boot! Adios bitch face! No more must we see your contrived facial expressions, hand gestures, and perfectly timed running of hands through your hair. You�re gone!

Instead of hearing Daniel Powter�s �Bad Day� I was hearing little munchkins sing in unison �Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead, The Wicked Witch, That Mean Old Witch � Ding Dong The Wicked Witch Is Dead!�

Paula used some of the tissues from her over stuffed top to wipe her raccoon eyes but America the tears streaming down my face were those of Joy! Not since �Arrested Development� was picked up last May have I been so happy about a televised event!

If only this week we can attach the trailer to the wood sided station wagon with signs that read �North Carolina or Bust� sending Pickle home for good!

Tonight are the song stylings of LOVE. If Pickle does �Eternal Flame� I hope it goes out!

Oh and in the high hopes category, here�s to Chris Daughtry and McPheever doing Dan Hill and Vonda Shephards 80�s tear jerker �Can�t We Try�

Where I've Been...


Some of you have actually emailed or commented with concern instead of being an annoying douchebag commenting on my blog going to shit � thanks for that! I welcome my lovers and haters, god knows there�s been plenty of both.

The last two weeks have been really bad for me. There have been three deaths that have either directly affected me, one of my loved ones, or my building.
It began with being woken up at 12:30 in the morning two Saturday�s ago to a loud explosion sound outside our bedroom window. Then there were concerned calling outs outs of a man�s name. Then there were more panicked calls out which then turned to screams, and then to sobbing, then more screams, some keening, some 911 calling, some more guttural screams, sirens, sobbing, media, police cameras illuminating our bedroom every 10 seconds until about 4am.

If you live in Boston you may have heard of the guy that fell from the patio/roof of his apartment to his death 5 floors down while at his engagement party. Yeah that was my neighbor and it all took place about 8 feet from my bedroom window and was hands down one of the most disturbing noises and aftermath I�ve ever heard in my life. If the desperate name calling then screaming and 911 calling ever leave my memory it will be a great thing. It made me sick to my stomach.

A couple days later there was a very very personal death that affected me that I don�t care to discuss.
Then just this past weekend another one that affected one of my closest friends. It�s been a bad couple weeks.

In better news, my short 48 Hour Film screened this past Tuesday (4/18) here in Boston! It was a blast despite the personal issues that were plaguing me.

If you�re also wondering where the hell I�ve been since then� I�ve been busy with the Independent Film Festival of Boston which was my third job for the last couple months. It ended last night and I feel I can now dedicate some of my life back to television. For 6 days the IFFBoston rocked Somerville, Brookline, Cambridge, and Boston with over 70 films, 4 parties and a lot and a lot of my time. I went from my full-time day job directly to the Festival each weeknight and then spent my whole weekend working my ass off in the name of indie films! I met some incredible people one of which is major television related.

Michael F�ing Cera (George Michael from �Arrested Development�) was at the festival promoting the short film �Darling Darling� by the incredible funny and way young Matthew Lessner. I�m happy to report that he is just as cute, funny, and vulnerable in person as he is on screen as George Michael! His Mom is also the cutest thing on earth � as is the fact that he comes to a film festival not with his friends or his �people� but with his good ole MOMS!
Anyway, I'm back. I'll try to recap stuff that was recorded on my faux'vo for the last two weeks some of which I didn't watch until the last couple days. I was two Veronica Mars' behind and that is just not right... not right at all! Check back soon.

4/19/2006

Out of Office Reply

Quickly I just wanted to throw a post out basically saying that there has been a death in my life and I will come back soon.

4/17/2006

Last Week's Poll Results

The numbers are in and an overwhelming number of you could care less about Shane's "Survivor" performance and barely noticed his "My So Called Life" stint...

85% Just plain old missed "My So Called Life." It was a time wasn't it.
10% Said YES, Shane's whacko performance on "Survivor" is the role of a lifetime.
5% Thought his turn as a rapist drunk on "MSCL" was way better than his of strung out survivor!


Don't forget to vote this week. Polls are always in the menu bar on the right hand side of the page.

4/13/2006

Wednesday Night Thoughts...


American Idol - Bucky Covington Heads Back To Hicksville

I am so pissed that Ace Young is still in this competition. I'm not saying I thought Bucky was robbed or that he didn't need to go but as long as stupid contrived face with groomed beard and dumb hair is still floating around that stage and ruining my Idol viewing experience I will not be a happy man! He makes me sick just by looking at him. "Oh look at me with my fucking too long hair and George Michael beard... Look at me cry when my family talks about missing me... Look at me as I wipe non-existent tears from my cheek while the camera is on a close up of my rosey cheeks..."



FUCK YOU ACE YOUNG I HOPE YOU DIE!



I'm liking Elliott Yamin more and more. Maybe its that we've learned he should live in a plastic bubble with all the medical issues he's had or maybe its that he actually can sing and I've been able to look past that mouth of his and Rocky Dennis "Mask" chin... but he's growing on me! I felt horrible when Seacrest made him sing. Elliott was like, "um, no thanks..." and felt so awkward. Poor guy he thought for sure it was a trick and he was going home. Nope, not yet.

I'm glad Chris Daughtry's wife has started showing up for the competition. I felt back thinking she was at home with those kids worrying that her hot man is out there in LA sleeping with everything that moves - so I'm happy she's out there to throw down if needed! It's cute. And could he sound more like his Father? That was cracking me up, if you closed your eyes, it was Chris talking about Chris. Strange.



My prediction for the Final Two (if there is any justice in the world)
is
ready to be made:
- CHRIS DAUGHTRY
- KATHARINE MCPHEE




America's Next Top Model - Leslie We Barely Knew Ya

Someone needs to slap Jade in the teeth. Again, another travesty has occured in eliminations - how on earth Jade is still in this thing is beyond me. Sure she makes for excellent television but its starting to get to the point where keeping her around is showing the true signs that this show is not a modelling competition as much as it is truly a reality show.

Last week when Mollie Sue was eliminated and Drag Queen Jade was able to advance I knew that eliminations were no longer based on looks but on which girl makes the best television - this show is losing integrity (if possible). How the judges were talking that Jade looked incredible this week is beyond me. She straight up looked like a 90 year old withered hag.

Put Jade on a bus that's carrying Ace Young that is speeding toward a brick wall paving way for a firey death for both of these two demons!

My new faves are Furonda, Danielle, and Joanie! Danielle and Joanie are fierce on that runway, they can work it out. I love how Joanie has made it her personal mission to beat Jade. If only she'd carry a stick and some matches when she went in for the beatdown! Furonda... Furonda is just making me laugh so much each week that I've actually come around to Team Furonda! Remember she handed out the Furonda Rules back in the beginning of the season? That girl is a trip!

If you've not read the interview TVGuide did with Mollie Sue, please do because she knows whats up with Top Model. She knows its a reality show first and foremost. She talks about how evil Jade is and how Cover Girl would never want a crazy ass psycho as their spokesman. She also exposes how out of touch Tyra is with the girls. Check it out! She's amazing!






Lost - Rose & Bernard

I've always had a soft spot for Rose! I've loved how she yearned, longed, and never gave up waiting for Bernard. I love how she's intuitive enough to know that the island has powers. I love that she was not afraid to die - that she had made peace and that in the end has found reason to live (in Bernard and the island). Basically I just love me some Rose! She's beautiful, powerful, and one hell of a woman! We need more of her I've decided. When she let Locke know she knew he was paralyzed before the crash, it was such a great moment!

Henry Gale is still one evil creepy ass dude and I find that kinda hot.

Speaking of hot, good god when Jack and Kate were trapped in that netting! The writhing, the closeness, the sweaty hotness of it all as she fumbled for the gun was almost too much! They are hot business and I hope we get a little more Jack/Kate action before the season is over.

Here is my final thought on the last seconds of the episode...

"Oh crap, loook its Michael" I could not have been more uninterested in his return. Just kill him already! They need to get real on this island and start Lord of The Flies'in it! Start killing and start with Michael, Walt, and Charlie!

4/12/2006

Is The Gutte Molesting Neptune High's Best And Brightest?


It seems that the last two episodes of Veronica Mars (that I just finally caught up on with my friend Faux'vo) have been hinting at the fact that little Mayor Woody (Steve Guttenberg) may be laying his hands on more than the law. He may have a penchant for high school boys.

  • Exhibit A: The overly tight way in which he squeezed young Logan Echolls biceps.
  • Exhibit B: Peter was about to "out" someone important and that's the only reason he went on the field trip to Sharks Stadium in the first place. Who did they meet at Shark Stadium beside Jackie's dad baseball legend Terrence Cooke? Yup, Mayor McFeelsalot!
  • Exhibit C: A blackmailing tape was sent about um, Woody and if its not related to his Gardner could it be related to Mayor McWoody's affair with a dead bus crash student?
  • Exhibit D: There have been numerous shots of Little League photos and Woodster.

Question: Does Beaver have any connection to Mayor McWoody McFeelsalot? Could his intimacy issues with Mac have anything to do with being run up the Mayors Flagpole? Beaver is one hostile kid and its slowly coming out! Love him as I do, Cassidy Casablancas has the brains to become an evil mastermind. If we thought Kendall was trying to scam Beav, its more than likely the other way around.

Question: Who is Sally and what connection does this "Sally" have to Dick and/or Beaver. Remember back to the winter carnival episode when would that he could, spit out the memories Dick was set up by Beaver to go down on a male prostitute? Remember, Dick almost pummeled the Beav until "Sally" was brought up and he slinked away? Who is SALLY God Damn You Rob Thomas et al.

Discuss...

4/10/2006


Last Week's Quiz Results...

Last week I asked who thought the big queer would be on Everwood? Tonight as TVGuide reports will be a "watershed" moment for both Ephram and Kyle (is that what we're calling homoeroticism these days). So in honor of the moment, I thought I'd point out the results from the poll.

And The Gay Is:
  • 50% say piano virtuoso Kyle
  • 17% say impressionable Amy Abbott
  • 17% say both Kyle and Emphram will be doing a spit shine in the tent
  • 16% say they don't care as long as "Everwood" gets a 5th Season

Don't forget to vote in this week's challenge: "Is Shane's performance as a "Survivor" contestant better than his role as Thug Trying to Molest Rayann Graff Then Throws Bottle in the pilot episode of "My So Called Life"?

Discuss!

duckyxdale hits the newsstand!
Remember back to the wildly popular Veronica Mars Bloggers Press Day? Me too! We were trailed by a reporter for the San Deigo Union-Tribune and her article on the event and on television blogging finally has been published. Luckily I was one of the two bloggers chosen to be interviewed for the piece (*pats self on back and pats GMMR's back as well - but only after pinching her ass*) and you can read up on what UPN and Rob Thomas thought of our visit and the future of interactive outreach via blogs below (or click here).
TV shows embrace the passion (and value) of Internet fan sites
By Karla PetersonUNION-TRIBUNE TELEVISION CRITIC

April 10, 2006

They came to San Diego from Boston; Seattle; Matawan, N.J.; and other cities not known for their friendly February weather. So when the visitors touring the �Veronica Mars� set ended up eating their lunch outside in the rain, you'd think someone would have complained.
But no one did, because no one cared. The skies over the set may have been blustery, but it was a beautiful day in the �Veronica Mars� blogosphere.

On a damp Monday in late February, nine TV fans who devote big chunks of their Web journals to UPN's savvy detective drama participated in the network's inaugural �Veronica Mars Blogger Press Day.�

After being flown to San Diego and put up at a Marriott hotel (on the UPN/Warner Bros. Television dime), the bloggers were taken by stretch limo to the show's Kearny Mesa set, where they watched the April 18 episode being filmed. They also schmoozed with cast members (including Jason Dohring, who plays the good/bad boy Logan Echolls); took pictures of themselves in Veronica's bedroom; and spent a few hours hours hanging out with creator Rob Thomas.

It was UPN's biggest blog-related project yet, but there will be more where that came from. Because as the Internet gives more and more people the chance to talk about their favorite shows, more and more shows are starting to talk back.

Actors from NBC's �The Office� have their own blogs on MySpace.com, and they often communicate with fans from their on-screen desks while the show is being filmed. The UPN network hired a public relations firm to monitor the �Veronica Mars� and �America's Next Top Model� blogs and send press materials to their authors. �Model� bloggers were recently treated to their own press conference with members of the show's creative team.

On Web sites for the Sci Fi Channel's �Battlestar Galactica� and ABC's �Lost� and �Grey's Anatomy,� the shows' creators and writers use blogs to answer fans' questions, address complaints and drop the occasional plot spoiler, all in an effort to keep the lines of communication open with the people who keep the cult fires burning.

�Sometimes I think bloggers are our journalists,� said �Veronica Mars� creator Thomas, who recently used an online press conference to test fans' reactions to some possible changes in the show's format.

�Believe me, I don't want to turn down press with Entertainment Weekly, and Entertainment Weekly couldn't have been better to us these last two years. But I feel like the bloggers made the show. In a way, a day like (the press day) is preaching to the choir, but I don't know that we'd exist without them.�

A recent Google search for television blogs netted 2,400,310 responses, which is fewer than movies (3,969,722), but more than baseball (1,804,310).

And that's no surprise. As two activities you can do at home while wearing pajamas and eating microwave popcorn, TV watching and blogging go together like Ben and Jerry. Particularly now, when nail-biting reality shows like �American Idol� and cliff-hanging serial dramas like �Lost� make commenting about TV almost as addictive as watching it.

�Movies are more of a one-time thing, and they don't allow for the kind of speculation that TV does,� said Kathie Skerry, a Boston-based blogger whose detailed �Veronica� reports on givememyremote.com got her an invite to the press-day event. �Logan (Echolls) can make some snide comment, and there are 15 different ways you can look at it. When things like that happen, people want to discuss what they see and what it means for the future episodes of the show.

�Since I started blogging, the way I view TV has changed. I feel like it's a whole different experience watching a show knowing that as soon as it's over, I can get online and talk about it.�
And if you are passionate enough about TV to spend hours of unpaid time on your computer hashing and rehashing the finer points of your favorite shows with other plugged-in obsessives, you are exactly the kind of geek the media gurus are looking for.

�Young audiences really want to be part of the show, and blogs give them that sense of community,� said Shelley McCrory, senior vice president for comedy series at the NBC Universal Television studio, home of �The Office.�

�There is a sense of ownership that makes them very invested viewers. They are talking about the show, they are e-mailing other people about the show. It makes them loyal and active, and it helps us market the show.�

When it comes to a highly invested computer-savvy audience, it would be hard to beat the �Veronica Mars� bunch. Never a huge ratings-getter, this sly, critically acclaimed show about a high school sleuth has managed to rally one of television's most passionate audiences. And one of the most active.

Since �Veronica� debuted in the fall of 2004, dedicated viewers have used Web pages and blogs to organize TV-watching parties and other events and lobby UPN on their show's behalf. Concerned that their best TV gal pal might not survive the merger between the UPN and WB networks, the fans at MarsInvestigations.net recently created a �Veronica Mars: The College Years� postcard that supporters can send to the network brass.

�Word of mouth is the key to building a strong fan base, and people who are into the Internet and blogs have this addictive personality that keeps them out there looking for information about the things that interest them,� said Dan McCallum, a Boston-based blogger duckyxdale.com who attended the �Veronica Mars� press event.

� 'Veronica' is a show that people are really invested in. So you have 3 million really intense people who are out there searching for anything they can find about the show, because they're afraid it might actually disappear. People will go to extremes for the things they are really into.�
Fortunately for them, the affection runs both ways. As a reward for their undying loyalty to this underdog series, members of the �Veronica Mars� Internet community enjoy an unusually close relationship with the show and its creator. Thomas is a high-profile poster on the Television Without Pity message boards (where he recently checked in to dispel a cancellation rumor), and he and the cast have done interviews with bloggers on many fan-run sites.

Then came the �Veronica� press day, which turned out to be the virtual gift that kept on giving.
�Once we sent out the invitations, there was instantly a lot of (Internet) chatter about why we invited certain people,� said Joanna Massey, UPN's senior vice president for media relations. �Then there was chatter leading up to the trip, and there was chatter when everyone got back. And they instantly posted all of their photos, which I love. And then they will blog again when the episode runs (on April 18). With the traditional media, when do you get that kind of coverage?�

The passion does have a price. Whether it is �Lost� fanatics lobbying for the on-screen death of the gun-toting Ana Lucia, �Grey's Anatomy� supporters calling for the head of the bumbling George O'Malley, or the �Veronica Mars� faithful raging against the divisive Duncan Kane, the most dedicated fans are also the most demanding.

The powers that be would never admit to making significant changes at the bloggers' request, but as long as the fans are chatting, the shows will be listening. In this attention-deficit world, Internet talk may be cheap, but real human obsession is priceless.

�One of the last things I remember reading on the Internet was someone saying, 'Doesn't Rob understand that he's violating the rules of the world he created?' And I'm thinking, 'I'm pretty sure I'm not,' � Thomas said with a hearty laugh. �But if I had the option of having this incredibly devoted, rabid fan base, or to be a show that people watched but nobody felt passionate about, believe me, I would pick 'Veronica Mars.' �

4/06/2006

duckyxdale
is on hiatus - for a couple days!
Okay so not for like a really long extended period of time or anything but for a couple days. Today is thursday and I have not watched Veronica Mars, Lost, or ANTM. I won't be able to catch the premiere of Degrassi either which pains me. I hope to be back in the swing of things by Tuesday or Wednesday at the latest with some recap action.
Reasoning? Last night (wed) was the awards ceremony celebrating Meryl Streep at the theatre I work for. Its an old art-deco indie movie house from the 1930's and every year we give out an award to someone in cinema that embraces the true artform of cinema. This year we hit up Meryl! It was an amazing event with obviously Meryl Streep, Kevin Kline, Chris Cooper, John C. Reilly, Robert Altman, Susan Orlean, Charlie Kaufman and more. It was unreal! I'm not going to go into it all because seriously it would be a VMars Bloggers Press Day recap like tome.
I will however give you my favorite moment of the night and most ridiculous television cross-over. It's 8:30 and the red carpet is going strong. Kevin Kline just finished with the media and is walking past me and Meryl Streep is like 5 feet away when I hear the Media Coordinator Laurann scream out "Mandisa Was Kicked Off 'Idol'" Suddenly everyone is gasping and screaming about Manfuckingdisa as Kevin Kline walks by. My partner comes by and hears us and laughingly says: "Seriously the biggest movie star of all time is about to come through and you're all talking about Mandisa..." Well yeah! It was high-sterical!
My other reason for not watching shows or blogging for a couple days is that this weekend I will participate for the 3rd year in The 48 Hour Film Project. An international film competition where you have 48 hours to write, direct, score, and edit a short film. It's scary tiring and sometimes brutal but it is always a blast! So that begins at 7pm on Friday night and ends at 7pm Sunday night! Basically from Fri to Sun I don't sleep I eat breathe live and drink guerilla filmmaking for better or for worse! Wish me luck!
thanks y'all!
duckyxdale

4/04/2006

American Idol - Hootenanny for Nine



Pickle Pickle Pickle, as much as it pains me to say this... "And the award goes to Kellie Pickler" Okay, I need a Silkwood shower after even typing that phrase. But to channel Randy, she turned it out dawg! This was her element and she owned the shit out of the stage and it somehow someway was good. I feel dirty. Do you think that prom dress gave her a yeast infection? It's that bad. Who knew whore and harums were big in the sticks of North Cackalacky.

Now lets go back to the beginning shall we?

Taylor Hicks you are fading fast my friend. This was easily his worst and cheesiest song to date. "Take Me Home Country Roads" you may have sang a prophetic tale my epileptic friend. As I was watching his performance I couldnt help but wonder if just maybe Taylor Hicks has switched bodies with his 17 year old son - kinda like Kirk Cameron and Dudley Moore in 16 Again. Bottom 3 and probably going home.

Mandisa - We were told that was a Shania song. I do not care for that Canadian tart and I also found this performance to be sour. She never really connected with the song and all I could think was who macramed that top? Slave labor? That's a big top and those little slave kids had very little time to make it. Thank god .03 cents and hour is incentive enough! Bottom 3.

Elliott Yamin was pretty darn good. I don't know if he's growing on me or if I'm going soft the more I read about him but I can actually stomach watching him. He's no longer got the Rocky Dennis Mask face and he keeps those teeth under wraps. This was a really good pop country performance!

Paris, I think I have to say it... Bottom 3. When she goes into her lower range, she completely lands flat AND HARD! The opening of the performance was so damn rough, she was nervous and ya know what... like Kelly Clarkson last week, this week you do not cover Lianne Rhimes covering Trisha Yearwood. Rhimes' version of that song is GOLD and you do not ruin it like that. I don't care if you have Dr. Bailey's hair - you gots ta go for that performance. Bottom 3

Ace Young - I just can't say much because I slightly hate myself for thinking it was for once a good performance. Oh one more thing... Cut and wash that effin mop on your head already!

Chris Daughtry - they requested you change it up and thank god you did my friend you are my true recipient of the Musician's Magic Award (at least in my heart) for this amazingly soft, smooth, subtle, sultry, and actually heartbreaking rendition of a country song! Hot Hot Hot!

McPheever - I'm sure there is a line of Billy's, Joe's, Bob's, Rick's, Jed's, and Julio's out there ready to follow Elvis In You! She has a big ass voice and I hope she sticks around for a while. I enjoy this gal.

Bucky - The Best I Ever Had, probably true in relation to performances this season. He actually was pretty good. I couldn't figure out why I knew this song and then I realized it was a hit in the 90s by that horrid band Vertical Horizons.


Other observations:
Is that really Kenny Rogers or is that Will Sasso doing Kenny from Mad TV? Who the hell did his face lift? Stevie Wonder? My word his face is pulled tighter than Star Jones twat. I could barely look at him, and I will tell you - I'm a Kenny fan - I've got Kenny's Greatest Hits on my iPod - loves me some Kenny!

Is Randy the new Blackjack dealer on the Riverboat Queen? What was with that vest? Oi!

Ryan, did Teri Hatcher - wait a minute it just dawned on me why Simon said the Desperate Housewives comment. God I'm a tard. TERI HATCHER, DESPARATE HOUSEWIVES... AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAH Simon did a funny! Not kidding, I just got it as I was typing.



Why I Won't Be Watching Pepper Dennis Tonight or Ever!

- Seriously, that name... Pepper Dennis? It's kinda gross, like saying "moist" or "panties"

- it just doesn't roll off the tongue.- If RR isn't blue it can't be good.

- RR is no longer RRStamos. Who would dump John Stamos? Seriously? Who?

Someone Needs To Stop Chad Michael Murray...


... before he ruins another girls life and career!

... before he marries this barely legal chick forcing Sophia Bush to boil bunnies in pots on his stove.... before he makes another constipated and not sexy facial expression.

... before producers question hiring him based on the number of singles girls already hired for a production - eventually the odds will not be in his favor.

... before he lives out the real life Big Love.

... we learn that he's Mormon or whatever religion it is that is into polygamy.

... before a sequel to House of Wax is made.

... before Dawson comes home and realizes this blonde imposter is filming on his set.

... before we find out on smokingun.com that his talent rider requests young virginal girls be at his beckon call for marriage.

... before the gays start rallying against him like we did when trailer park Britney began her marrying spree in Vegas to Jason Alexander. People don't want us to marry but CMM can marry once a year - why not?

... before I write another line.

... before, damnit!

Vote for you favorites to return and send some shitty shows a packin'

USAtoday has a poll going where you can select "Keep", "Drop", or "Don't Care" for a myriad of shows that are on the bubble for this coming Fall season. Amongst those you must vote to keep would be the no-brainers: EVERWOOD and VERONICA MARS! The rest can all suck it.

Thanks to TVAddict for pointing me there in the first place!

Everwood "You're A Good Man, Andy Brown"

Last week Everwood returned from its long winters nap with a two hour extravaganza of joy and sadness - and that was just my emotions while watching it! I am a die hard Everwoodian and am man enough to admit that almost on a weekly basis it makes me cry in some way. Sometimes little drops well up in my eyes, often large bucket fulls stair my shirt as we traverse the lives of the Browns, Abbots, and some others who are near and dear.

The episodes were incredibly good, the writing and the wit were top notch! Hell, Bright got a B+ on a History paper for Christ Sake, that's a Christmas miracle! I wept a couple times: Hannah and Amy fall out, Ephram loses again to the increasingly selfish Amy, Edna misses Erv so much she's having panic attacks, Julia cheated on Andy (wow), and forget it, the Nina/Jake saga was a gusher! All in all, we're talking serious Felicity type tears - that's how good Everwood is!

So last night's episode made me love and hate Everwood in the same moment! Not serious Hate like I have for Mariah, Britney, or Hilary Duff but frustration and anger that things don't go the way I want them to (who's selfish now) - hate.

Yes, there were amazing, AMAZING moments in this episode:


  • Nina tries too hard to help Jake recover. She's such the go-getter and even takes on the burden for Jake. Not healthy but makes for great and uncomfortable television - no? The fact that both Jake and Nina feel comfy enough to go to Andy - who's essentially the third point in this love triangle - for support is both endearing and really frustrating!

  • Andy finally broke down and told Jake that he can't be the one to help save his and Nina's relationship... well duh!

  • Ephram opened up and realized that the reason he's been so hell bent on helping Kyle is to compensate for his own baby daddy issues. The scene between Andy and Ephram at the end was one of their best and a real testament to the subtlety of writing and acting. It was controlled, from the heart, and believable - not to mention gut wrenching without being melodramatic or too self aware. It was a moment that made me say I FUCKING LOVE THIS SHOW!

Now, with the good come frustrations but not critical show killing frustrations, possibly good frustrations - we have to wait and see:

  • Amy Abbott boy you're turning into a real self righteous bitch these days aren't ya? If you crawled any further up that professors twunt do you think your daddy would help abort you back out? Good lord does she have some major MAJOR identity issues now that she's being all higher learned and all. Fuck she's driving me insane. Last week I was so frustrated because she just would do anything that this bleeding heart manipulative women's study professor would tell her. Last week she ruined her relationship with Hannah by forcing her all the sudden "beliefs" on our little meek nerd and this week she's chastising her father for being honest and soooo non-judgmental it wasn't even funny! So what, the man did some abortions in his day... who hasn't? He gave his reasoning and he fully supported Amy's decisions in forming her own belief system - and this bitch has the balls to play the martyr? Hells to the no! Someone needs to give her a swift kick - better yet, haze her ass! Something's gotta give.

  • They've always been very "all over the map" with Amy. She's always had identity issues because she went from being Colin's long pained and grieving girlfriend to being Ephram's soulmate and tortured lover. We get it, she's never really found herself but I feel that her having this connection to Teri Bauer from 24 cannot be good. And honestly, if in the end this is the old college cliche of finding yourself, etc. I'm going to be really annoyed because I love Amy and her honesty and her good heart but their working my last nerve.

  • Now lets discuss the gay rumors that have been floating around (along with the death rumors)... Greg Berlanti, the creator of the show is frigging queer so why its taken this long to get a gay character (besides Nina's ex) is beyond me - but because he is gay I was really worried that they were going to make Amy gay for a day like they did with Marissa last season on The OC. Originally, after watching last weeks episodes I thought for sure it was going to be our young impressionable Amy Abbott and that made me very sad. YES, I could see Amy going that direction especially given her tendency to just adapt to whatever is around her but I thought it would be the biggest copout ever! If you're going to take a character and make them gay, go the route of Joss Whedon and Willow! It worked! It really did! I'm happy to say that after this weeks episode ended I no longer believe its Amy (it seems that the predatory teacher is into Andy Brown not young bendy-minded freshman - though this could come back to haunt us).

  • So who is gay? Um, for starters it seems that our young Steve McQueen is the gay one. But, is this big enough to have started rumors? Doubtful. So that again leaves it open for interpretation. I think making Kyle gay is a great move, it really speaks to his alienation and his depression and need to get out of Everwood. I think Kyle is in for some really really REALLY hard times with Ephram because lets face it - who wouldn't have a total straight-boy crush on our amazing Ephram Brown? The hug at the end of this episode obviously meant something to Kyle...

  • Could Ephram be gay? I make the case that it is possible but I am sure it won't be. Here is my real frustration. Lets face it, Amy is the girl we (and by we I mean all us gays) would have fallen for in high school. She's smart. She's cute. She's tormented. She's witty beyond belief. She is the girl the gays date because she's safe. She's your soul-mate because she's meant to be the Grace to your Will! And wouldn't knocking up Madison scare you away from the va-jay-jay forever? Think about it before commenting hate mail on the bottom of this post. It is not entirely out of the question. He's never found who he really is meant to be and maybe its because he can't accept who he is. I don't know, I guess its just me projecting and hoping that a show would have the balls to upend its narrative and try to make people accept the leap. Sure legions of tween girls will leap from their rooftops in sadness but in the end you've created daring and NOT COMPLETELY IMPOSSIBLE narrative.

  • In the end, I'm sure it will be Amy but a man can hope for some man on man action can't he?

Give me your thoughts!

To see my series on TV Characters that should have GAY friends click on the links below:
Series 1

Series 2


Series 3

Series 4

Series 5

Series 6

Series 7

4/03/2006

Grey's Anatomy



"Wait, George is her McDreamy..."

VERONICA MARS Viewing Party

If you videotape you and your friends watching Veronica Mars, you may get a chance to see yourself on national TV!UPN is offering its dedicated Veronica Mars bloggers a great opportunity to have your 15-seconds of fame! Every week, get a group of friends together for a Veronica Mars viewing party and shoot some video of your event.

The tape can include anything you want: sound bites of your friends talking about their favorite characters, you saying why you love Veronica Mars, or a group shout-out to your friends and family in your hometown. But keep it clean, because your tape could end up airing on UPN during an episode of Veronica Mars!Every week starting in April, tune in to Veronica Mars on UPN to see if your party is chosen as the featured party that airs during that week�s episode. Even if your party doesn�t make it on UPN, make sure to check out UPN.com to see if it is online.Creativity counts and don�t forget to express why you are the biggest Veronica Mars fan.

This is an excellent opportunity to convert your friends into Veronica Mars fans!!!!Please keep in mind that if your video is broadcast on TV, it will need to be brightly lit and the audio will need to be clear. Also, in order to ensure that we can use it, the video can�t include any copyrighted materials, such as logos on clothing, music or television programming playing in the background, or signage, like posters, paintings, photographs, and etc.

The featured parties will run during a commercial break and UPN�s producers will be editing your footage into an on-air promo, so the tape only needs to be a few minutes long. Finally, depending on your home video camera, VHS, mini-DV or DVD are best.In order for UPN to be able to use your tape on air or on UPN.com, you and all of your friends at the party need to sign releases and provide a current photograph of each of you so we can identify who everyone is. If you are interested in submitting a tape, please email Sienna Sanders or Chelsea Hettrick to get a copy of the releases as well as the mailing address for where to send your tape (ssanders@mprm.com/chettrick@mprm.com)

We can�t wait to see your tapes! Happy viewing!