duckyxdale

3/31/2005

Lost 3.30.05


Lost 3.30.05
Originally uploaded by duckydale.
Okay this show just gets creepier and creepier. The island can take what it givith? That is harsh. Also harsh is the scheming that the ever absent parents of Locke pulled off. They giveth the man a family and taketh a kidney. Swoosie, that�s not right!
Is Boone really the one that�s going to die? I mean, yeah he�s hot and sleeps with his sister but take away Charlie or someone juicy. Unless Boone survives the injuries he currently has and only to get chomped to death by that �beast� in the woods. THAT WOULD BE INCREDIBLE!

3/30/2005

The Amazing Race (Week 5)


The Amazing Race (week 4)
Originally uploaded by duckydale.
Is there a casting call each season requesting all spouse hating alpha males with anger issues apply? Honestly this was the third season in a row that there was just an abusive male figure on a team that deserved to die. First it was Colin (and Christie); next was Jonathan (and Victoria); and this season we had Ray (and �my right eye is swollen shut� Denna). What a cock this �roid user was, no? Damn he sucked. I couldn�t have been happier when those brothers breezed past R&D at the final Pit Stop. That is what makes for an Amazing Race dammit!
Everyone needs to lay off Rob and Amber. It�s a race folks, for a million dollars! Who cares if they don�t stop to see if the other team with the half dead cameraman with an amputated leg flipped over in the desert. It�s not like the show doesn�t have communication and emergency medics on hand to take care of this. Thank god Lynn and Alex were there to help out. That cameraman would have died if not for Lynn�s frantic ramblings and high pitched bitching. He�s a life saver.
And do these teams not talk to each other? Three different teams thought Meredith was the woman in the �Meredith & Gretchen� team. Hands down funny.
Best moment of the night: Rob: �I�m not sure she fell down. He might of pushed her just for effect so people would feel bad for her.� (And Amber laughs knowing it�s so wrong)

American Idol 3.29.05


American Idol
Originally uploaded by duckydale.
If we vote enough can we put Paula in the bottom three this week? Straight up, that bitch needs to go!

Diane Court... Arrested?


Diane Court... Arrested?
Originally uploaded by duckydale.
I fucking love Ione Skye. She will forever be Diane Court, in my eyes at least (get it, in my eyes...right). Well, sister of "The In Crowd's" Donovan Leitch, Ms. Diane Court if you will - will be appearing on the next episode of "Arrested Development" as Egg's (Ann) Mother! I cannot wait. She often dips in and out of obscurity, but with her supporting role in "Fever Pitch" she's back in the limelight. And why not? Those lips, that innocence (at least percieved because we all know you can't be married to AdRock and be that innocent) she deserves the attention. Why should John Cusack get all the riches? Give this bitch some due!

3/24/2005

Alias 3.23.05


Alias
Originally uploaded by duckydale.
This week's episode was basically what happened to little Mathilda after Leon died in "The Professional." Could 17 year old Nadia have been more Natalie Portman's Mathilda? I think not. It was a great episode with incredible backstory. Oh and was that Sonya Braga playing the orphanage mother? Uh-huh, her ass has been waiting years to find Nadia, something bad is about to happen and I love it!

In other news, JJ Abrams was able to secure Lena Olin for more episodes!!! That means, the beast is back. Irina Derevko will once again resurface to face two daughters this time! I cannot wait!

The Amazing Race 7 (Week 4)


The Amazing Race 7 (Week 4)
Originally uploaded by duckydale.
Could the asshole of the season please show yourself? Oh, there you are Ray! What a bitch. If still being in the game wasn�t reason to be happy I don�t know what is. Hanging with the oldies and the gay must have been torture for this hot head of a competitor that for some reason thinks he�s the best player ever� I sat there wishin�, hopin�, and prayin� this jacknut would be eliminated. Damn my unanswered godless prayers!
Moment of the night: Rob and Amber making that 9:30 flight and the reactions of the four teams that thought they were free and clear of the Survivors.
Moment of the night 2: The Survivors coming in 1st place again! I love them.

American Idol


American Idol
Originally uploaded by duckydale.
Snafu Smashfu. I wonder how they figured out that the wrong numbers were listed for some of the contestants? Were there millions of votes for Fran Drescher instead of Carrie Underwood? I had chills at one point when Carrie was belting out �Alone� by Heart! Brought me right back to 9th grade. Hey girl! The last time an Idol gave me chills (of joy not terror � Fantasia) was when my girl Kelly Clarkson began dominating the competition three years ago. I would download Carrie�s version of �Alone� in a Heart-beat, get it�
Nadia Turner, you�ve done so many people wrong with your flat rendition of �Time After Time.� It was weak, boring, and just not rocking. If she would have instead chose to perform �Total Eclipse of the Heart� she would have dominated the night! Tits MaGee�s version of �Eclipse� was emotionless and she�s too young and fresh lunged to rasp out that tune!
And was Paula taking hits off Whitney�s crack pipe last night? Her lunacy was to make up for the fact that she damn near killed some folks in a hit and run accident last week. �I�M CRAZY!�

3/21/2005

Spring Break Shark Attack!

Fucking Genius! This was incredible. I loved watching this schlockfest. You know you are in for some real TV Movie of the Week treats when the first clip is of four housewives on a raft in the ocean sunbathing, one in the water. The first reference was subtle, sorta... "Alice would have loved this" (Mary Alice on DHousewives). The first lady to get chomped is "Abby" and this is only after one of the women says how they "Desperately needed this!" Brilliant!
It was almost like two movies were merged to make on monster of a flick. Not that Shannon Luccio (from "The OC") is Meryl Streep, but her, the boy that played Shane and Kathy Baker were the only ones that could act in this chum infested thesp piece. I wonder what movie they signed up for? Regardless, they are now in cinematic history. This was "Burning Beds" good folks. Loved it.

Arrested Development 3.20.05


adheader26nm
Originally uploaded by duckydale.
How is it possible that there are only 5 more episodes of this show left? Still no word from Fox as to whether or not they will renew, so I sit and wait with the other 4 people apparently watching "Arrested Development." I mean, how can this show not go on?

Tonight they spoofed the Star Wars kid. There was a video clip repeatedly played of George Michael going crazy in the garage with a broomstick and it was quite possibly the funniest thing I've seen since the last episode when Amy Poehler was Abu Ghraib'ing it. I hope that fat kid got paid for being spoofed.

Oh, and my I thought of Scanet (my friends Scott and Janet) when Lupe, Lucille's maid was replaced by the iRobot Roomba. Scott used to work for iRobot. Oh no and the image of Buster having sex with it has forever tainted the brand! Genius.

"Is that why our Tivo stopped recording Christopher Lowell?"

3/19/2005

The OC 3.17.05


The OC
Originally uploaded by duckydale.
Someone please grace the writers of Summer�s dialogue with an award already. With zingers like these, how can she not become the new Cohen? She�s snappier and the piss and vinegar running through her diamond encrusted veins is far more entertaining than Seth�s at times neurosis.
Props to the wardrobe department and the sound department this week for donning Billy Campbell in a Husker Du shirt and drowning his sorrows in The Pixies! But isn�t he about 5-10 years too old for that? He�s gotta be in his 40�s, isn�t he? Husker Du and The Pixies are so mid to late thirties I worry this is yet another case of older playing younger [*cough, Dylan, Kelly, Brandon, et al]. Are we really supposed to believe Billy Campbell is 35? If I think he�s 31 can he be my lovaaahhhh? I�d like to take a ride with �The Rocketeer!�
In the �don�t write it dan department�� I wanted Ryan to at least slap Alex around a bit, didn�t you? I know boys shouldn�t hit girls but what if the girl is kinda tough and you totally know you could take her? In the sixth grade I sent Cindy Roberts to the hospital because I pulled half of her hair out� SHE HAD IT COMING!

Survivor 3.17.05


Survivor 3.17.05
Originally uploaded by duckydale.
Harsh Probst, harsh! What a great episode. Refusing a merger, eliminating two contestants, allowing insider scoop on another tribe, and forcing the meek to watch the strong munch away on stew. So not right! I love it.
Poor Angie, girl didn�t know what hit her. She was the underdog to root for and now she�s back home tending bar and �nailing� things together. She will be missed. Wanna know who will not be missed? That weathered hippie Willard. Sicka.

Alias 3.16.05


Alias
Originally uploaded by duckydale.
Aw schucks Ken from �Freaks and Geeks� was Syd�s responsibility this week (Sam). There moments were surprisingly entertaining yet melancholy. You couldn�t help feel for the guy and his aimless state of being as Ms. Bristow drags him into her world of terror and intrigue. But what a ride, whoo-hoo! Killer Copters and gun shot wounds, who could ask for anything more?
I worry that we are never going to find out what really makes Jack Bristow tick. The man has some major issues and I wish we could just get to them already. He is a man of few words but of many rage induced actions.

3/17/2005

The Amazing Race 7 (Week 3)


The Amazing Race 7 (Week 3)
Originally uploaded by duckydale.
Rob summed it up best as they landed on Phil�s mat� None of us know how, but he did find a way to scheme on the Amazing Race! If he can keep this up there is a possibility he could pull of a win; albeit the dirtiest win in TAR history! When Rob quit the Road Block I was seriously worried it would jeopardize their chances. When Rob convinced the next team to quit as well I knew he was a fucking genius! Amber must cringe at some of the things he does (like stealing a cab) but when his acts of dumb genius pay off she�s the luckiest player in the world!
In the not so genius acts department, if you were lets say� in a race and you�ve been driving for two and a half hours without checking a map to ensure you�re going in the right direction wouldn�t you agree that you deserve to lose this race? I liked these two girls but come on! The ocean is soooooooo not the border to Argentina. If that map was covered in 4 lbs. of meat, intestine, brains and saliva glands I bet these bitches would have been in first! You gotta be kidding me, not looking at a map for two and a half hours�

3/16/2005

House - Give Me Wit... STAT!


House
Originally uploaded by duckydale.
I�ve never watched this show, but as Idol wrapped up guess who came onto my screen? Nina Myers! She wasn�t plotting against the United States nor was she held captive after a plane wreck but regardless, Nina Myers was on TV! When Nina died, so did �24� but that�s another story. An hour later I was enjoying this here �House�; it was cozy, not yet a home but something I could slip into if need be.
One thing that struck me as an outsider was how horribly inappropriate this Dr. House is. I enjoyed his witticism and his disdain for everyone around him but it had me thinking� Has television become too snappy for its own good? It seems like sharp, witty barbs and general pessimism is the new Cousin Oliver. For every cop drama on television there is a sitcom or dramedy with caustic banter overtaking the airwaves. I tried to tune into �Gilmore Girls� a few weeks back and it was smart yammering overload. If Lorelai wasn�t ranting about something in a perky upbeat yet affected manner then it was her Coffee Man Lover or Daughter witting it up. Everyone was an episode of �Buffy� on dialogue steroids. Too much I tell ya, too much. Wit is the new �Queer Eye!�

American Idol


American Idol
Originally uploaded by duckydale.
I have to admit that my feelings about this competition have changed now that Mario V. is gone. I�ll say there is a little less excitement, a little less talent, and a little less incentive for me to tune in each week; but the two nights a week will keep me coming back. Three was a hard commitment to make, but we stuck it out. Now that I�ve seen the final 11 (because I don�t count Nikko Smith until tomorrow, the day after Fran Drescher is kicked out) my thoughts on who should win have changed some. I now have Nadia Turner as the #1 spot. Behind her could be a number of others including John Wayne Salvo and either the Bice Squad or Tits MaGee (Jessica Sierra).
Someone please tell me why Anthony Federov was hiding his arms? Little Trach has Big Boy Arms. Suddenly the asexual blonde was kinda hot. Jon came up with the going to hell moment of the night. He said how if Anthony was the 10th contestant he could just hold one finger up next to his neck and that Trach scar would complete the number �1o� Genius!

3/15/2005

Celebrity Fit Club - Finale


Celebrity Fit Club
Originally uploaded by duckydale.
Damn them some fat folks. Jon can�t figure out why this is �celebrity� anything because he does not recognize a single person. I�ll admit VH1 pushed it with their �celebrity� label but what else would you call it? �The Below Kathy Griffin in Celebrity Standing Fit Club?� Regardless of their social standing, I enjoyed watching these �celebrities� battle the bulge each week. It took me to the second to last episode to realize that they weren�t calling The Judge �Maybelline� because she wears a lot of make-up but because that is her friggin� name. Who names their child Mableen?
And who thought Daniel Baldwin would be a good addition to this show? Give him two seconds of air time and he�s back on the crack pipe. The man may have been fat before the show but at least he wasn�t using. VH1 is Daniel Baldwin�s pusher! Shame on you VH1. And shame on Ant for telling Daniel last week that he looked better than Alec. We all know that�s a fat fucking lie.
I hope Ralphie will be on Season 2 of this show because boy needs it. He enjoyed his experience and appreciated all the help that the fitness panel of judges gave him throughout the three month competition and I think it would benefit him immensely to participate again. Why not? If they can bring those whores back for �The Bachelorette,� they sure as hell can bring Ralphie�s big bones back for another season of torturing fat folk.
Kim Coles, I�ve always had a soft spot for ya. And apparently you�ve had soft spots for lots of people. Did Kenan Ivory Wayans do this to you? After �In Living Color� you were �Living Single� but apparently you were eating for two. I find you funny at any size.
Biz Markey, does he need a tracheotomy? His mouth is always open, and not normal open, like gapping-I can�t breathe open� WIDE. I don�t know that he can shut it, do you? Biz needs to switch networks and see if Dr. 90210 gotz what he needz�
Joey G.? Is this the gumbah that was giving blow jobs on �The Sopranos?�
Mia Tyler is one fierce fat chick. Bitch will rip your head off and shit down your throat; she don�t care. As she pointed out numerous times: She gets paid (more than panel Judge Harvey apparently) to be heavy. My girl embraces her curves and believe me folks, they are dangerous. This plus-sized model is not foolin�.
Last is Wendy the Snapple Lady! She whined, she obviously dined, but in the end she slimed and trimmed. The Snapple Abacus no longer reads �43�!

RR/RW: Inferno II


RR/RW: Inferno II
Originally uploaded by duckydale.
Y�all know my proclaimed love for uber-bitch Tina and all things that come out of her mouth and last night she did not disappoint! The only reason she beat her component in the citrus squeezing while on stilts competition is because that other girl knocked over her glass, had to start over and fell a few times but Tina don�t care. A victory is a victory and in her mind she beat that bitch down and let everyone know it. That�s why she�s a bad ass. No tears from bad asses. Bad asses don�t cry when a jesus-lovin� tubby cowboy gets sent home after sacrificing himself just seconds after comparing himself to the Holy One. Please let Mel Gibson direct the reunion special and let everyone flog Jon to within an inch of his life then crucify him for all of MTV to see.

Degrassi: TNG


Degrassi: TNG
Originally uploaded by duckydale.
Tonight concludes a four episode run of Degrassi. The N is working my damn nerve with their scheduling though. In Canada, Degrassi has had a 22 episode season. Here in the fucking USofA the season has already been split twice and we are only on like episode twelve. There are nine episodes that have yet to be aired and they are calling tonight�s episode the �Season Finale.� Um, not quite jerkoffs.
Still to come this season is the debut of Jay and Silent Bob along with Alanis! Kevin Smith, Jay, and Alanis are guesting on Degrassi as Smith was a fan of the original series in the 80�s. Beyond that, there�s a string of STD�s that start surfacing at Degrassi. Kids start having sex for bracelets and apparently Spinner confesses to his role in pushing Crazy Rick over the edge, leading to the Columbine style shootings that took place before The N�s last self imposed Degrassi break. There are rumors circulating that Degrassi will not return until Fall, which has to be false because there are too many episodes left unaired from this season and the fifth season of Degrassi is supposed to begin in the fall (at least it does in Canada). I�m guessing that The N will put Degrassi back on over the summer. It was a huge hit last summer, so I doubt they would miss out on that opportunity again. Please The N, I beg of you� do �whatever it takes�� I need my Degrassi!

PoweR Girls 3.10.05


PoweR Girls
Originally uploaded by duckydale.
Lizzi Grubman�s face is so disgustingly deformed I can barely look at her. She sickens me, truly. Her lips are all wrinkly and worn from smoking too many ciggies and too much pole. She�s everything that is wrong with the rich and privileged. She damn near kills a crowd of hundreds outside a Hamptons nightclub in a drunken rage and still her skankass gets a reality show on MTV glorifying her out of touch ego. Having said that, PR Girls is a must see for no other reason than to finally see how insanely retarded the celebutante lifestyle is. Working for prune face are 5 rich and �pretty� up and coming PR girls. They are all so out of touch its fascinating. It�s the other side of �Rich Girls� or �Simple Life� this is about those who obsess over celebutantes, wish they were celebutantes, and who promote celebutante culture. It�s ridiculously vapid yet I stayed up to watch ever second of it. Damn you PR Girls.

The Apprentice 3.10.05


The Apprentice
Originally uploaded by duckydale.
Caroline cracking herself up while trying to explain Tana�s ebonics makeover was hysterical. I hit �replay� twice! When she doubled over with tears in her eyes, I think it was the first time we�ve seen the normally frosty queen smile all season! Hats off to The Apprentice for shirking the obvious choice (the horrible MTV network) and choosing the far edgier and still video filled FUSE. Fuse is my music channel of choice and Steven my VJ (he�s a real life Seth Cohen). I wondered why The Donald, Caroline, and Old Bones had been doing promos for FUSE and now I know. They�re in bed together! Never more out of place were a group of white folks than with Lil Joe, Lil Kim and wasn�t there a Fat Joe thrown in the mix?

The OC 3.10.05


The OC
Originally uploaded by duckydale.
I swear if Ryan and Marissa get back together I will scream bloody hell. It�s just not right anymore. Like Marissa said �We�ve been apart longer than we were together�� so why fix what�s not broken? Leave it be!
And was I the only one that was disappointed that references were not made to neither �The Breakfast Club� nor �Dawn of the Dead�? I mean, hello they were trapped in a mall for zombies sake! If that doesn�t scream� well, ZOMBIES then I don�t know what does. And when Ryan and Seth were navigating the air ducts could it BE more �Bfast Club�? Seth even falls through; he was one scene away from taping Larry Lester�s buns together!
Regardless, to find out that Julie Cooper once starred in �The Porn Identity� was genius! I knew she would do anything for money (she did marry Caleb after all), so I wasn�t surprised. I was surprised however at her amnesic/demure turn. I thought for sure someone like Julie Cooper-Nichol would have been more of the dominatrix type. That must be more Julie Cooper-Nichol of now than the poor, down on her luck Julie Cooper-Nichol of yester year. She is such a great character. Even her interaction with Alex was worth its weight in salt. Once again it�s a nod to the writing because easily JC-N could be taken for the monster she is, but The OC continues to add dimension to her, making her 1000 times more interesting than her lesbian for a week daughter.
No longer has the forerunner in quality programming, The OC lagged some this season but I am in for the long haul. I still think the witty banter and quirky character dramas are far more entertaining than anything else on the tube. Seth Cohen is a god and Summer even funnier. Without them, television would be lame.

3/14/2005

MARIO GONE?


MARIO GONE?
Originally uploaded by duckydale.
Say it ain't so Dogg! Mario Vazquez has dropped out of American Idol! What scandal is lurking in his *closet*? Maybe he was a plant, a pro placed on the show to boost ratings and spy on the contestants like on "Manhunt". HA!

_____________
'Idol' shakeup: Mario out, Nikko back in



March 14, 2005


Spry song-and-dance man and Paula Abdul favorite Mario Vazquez has dropped out of Fox's "American Idol" competition for what are being called "personal reasons."

With Vazquez gone, ousted semifinalist Nikko Smith, who was voted out last week, rejoins the competition immediately and will compete as a member of the top 12. Smith received more votes than Travis Tucker during last week's show, in which the number of guys was reduced from eight to six.

This week's episode, which airs at 7 p.m. Tuesday, finds the guys and gals competing head-to-head for the first time this season. In addition to Smith, the remaining guys are Bo Bice, Anthony Fedorov, Constantine Maroulis, Anwar Robinson and Scott Savol. The gals are Lindsey Cardinale, Mikalah Gordon, Jessica Sierra, Vonzell Solomon, Nadia Turner and Carrie Underwood.

The live results show will air at 8 p.m. Wednesday

Arrested Development 3.13.05


Arrested Development
Originally uploaded by duckydale.
Narrator: "And that's when Maeby decided to become a devoute Christian"

Maeby: "Do you guys know where I can get on of those gold necklaces with a T on it?"

Michael: "That's A CROSS..."

Maeby: "across from where?"
______________________________________
Arrested Development again proves that taste is not an option. Let the season end already! At least that way I know I am a month closer to the second season DVD release! I just love this show with all my damn gay heart and wish more people watched and wish Fox would have the balls to stick it out. For fucks sake, "Malcolm in the Middle" is still on. Who in idiotville is still watching that show?

3/11/2005

Survivor 3.10.05


Survivor 3.10.05
Originally uploaded by duckydale.
James: "It feels terrible to have my butt whooped by a ho-mo-sexual ya know? But a lotta gay folks are strong man, they all workin' out at the gym ya know. Damn!"

3/10/2005

Simple Life: Interns


Simple Life: Interns
Originally uploaded by duckydale.
Whilst changing diapers at a day care:
Nicole Richie: "What do you do with the bleach water? Spray it on their butt?"

3/09/2005

The Amazing Race 7 (Week 2)


The Amazing Race 7 (Week 2)
Originally uploaded by duckydale.
What�s with the photo-finishes this season? Both last week and this, the final two teams were within steps of each other � battling it out for the last spot ensuring their participation in the next leg. Sadly (or not, unless you are hormonally challenged big lipped brothers) this week the two blondes that you would swear are twins but in reality are just best friends were Philiminated.
Now on to the real drama; these peeps are hating all over Rob and Amber. Yo. What? Okay, seriously though these racers do not appreciate Rob�s conniving ways. What did you expect? This is a man from Boston that will get engaged to carry himself further in a game and the publicity wheel. Do they expect less? I love Rob, he�s so great!
So far I have no villainous hatred for any contestants. There are still too many out there racing. In another week or two I should be able to hand pick the team I want to lose this thing. Not the one I want to win, but to loooooooooose! Fast track possibilities include: Meredith and Gretchen. She (Gretchen) has the whiniest, most shrill voice on the planet and her husband�s name is on the feminine? I don�t get it. Second in the line of those I could care less about are Nancy-boy and his mother. I don�t care if you�re gay� that Dutch Boy cum Little Lord Fauntleroy has gotz ta go!

American Idol 3.8.05


American Idol 3.8.05
Originally uploaded by duckydale.
Simon took a hit off Whitney�s crack pipe this week when he said Mario was not the best singer in this competition. A jigga what? Then who is? Scott �John Wayne Gacy� Savol? No! It�s all about some Mario. Did you know that bitch is 27? Check a driver�s license or demand a birth certificate, is that a typo? He doesn�t look a day older than 20 and he still possesses the innocence lost to Justin Timberlake after dating that trash compactor Britney Spears. I hate her. But Mario, I�ve got nothing but love for.
Constantine? Didn�t work as a movie, doesn�t work on stage either. Be gone. If there is only room for one �Rocker�, let�s take the not so foliclly challenged Bo Bice. Is folicilly a word? I don�t think so but you get the gist. I didn�t realize the next American Idol could possibly be a throwback to �89. Signs, signs, everywhere there�s signs�
And those girls? Ugh. Horrendous. �The Boys Are Back In Town� comment by Simon was genius and not the first time this season that Fox should rethink AI�s 8 o�clock timeslot. The boys in this case were some breastesus and they were large if not in charge during that performance. Basically of the women, if you are not blonde-busty and country or you don�t have an afro, please be eliminated. There is no chance one of these girls will win this competition, so lets just start plucking these chickens one by one. And let the first be Janay Castine the warble prone 16 year old that should be in school instead of having babies, I mean instead of thinking she�s the next Idol. Janay it�s jawaaay past your bedtime. �Night.

3/08/2005

RW/RR Inferno II


RW/RR Inferno II
Originally uploaded by duckydale.
My girl Tina is back and she is a �Bad Ass!� Tina: �Tonya is not my competition, she�s my doormat!� God I love that girl. The Inferno is back and it looks better than ever. It�s �Good Guys� Vs. �Bad Asses� this season and I�m so excited. There will be fights galore (given the preview for this season there is an actual fist fight) and dramarama. I will miss Coral but as long as Veronica is there, tension is sure to follow. Last time the Real Worlders and Road Rulers entered the Inferno Julie tried to kill Veronica by releasing her safety harness whilst dangling 16 stories above the ground and Katie tried to kill Veronica. Is there a pattern? Veronica is the devil and we praise the Bunim/Murray house of god for ever inviting her into our homes. Let the fires blaze reality fans�

3/07/2005

Arrested Development 3.6.05


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Originally uploaded by duckydale.
One of the most genius things I�ve ever seen on television took place last night on Arrested Development. Last season, Amy Poehler (the actor that play�s Gob�s real life wife) got married to Gob and it was never brought up again. That is until last night when she returned in flashback form as Gob recanted why he has yet to get a divorce a year later. Apparently Poehler�s character was sent to Iraq as a soldier. It turns out that she ended up being one of the soldiers being tried for abusing the Abu-Ghraib prisoners. They had still photographs of Poehler imitating that gross troll of a soldier woman that became the poster child for the prison scandal. I almost pissed myself at the sight of Poehler in fatigues with a cigarette dangling from her mouth pointing at the naked contortion-like prisoners next to her. Brilliance!

3/03/2005

The Amazing Race 7 (Week 1)


The Amazing Race 7
Originally uploaded by duckydale.
I�m going to admit something that will make some of you cringe. I was not excited that TAR7 was coming on so soon. I need more time. Quality programming like this two time Emmy winner deserves time to breathe and I worry that CBS is shoving it down our throats Deep Throat style.
I spent the first hour of the premiere trying to figure out why Bolo looked different and why an old man and his dirty girlfriend had replaced Jon and Kris. It was too soon.
But, I have to concede and say that Hallelujah TAR7 is here! It�s like attack of the reality gays this season. If its not Lois and Clark, I forget their names (wait, isn�t one named Lynn?), it�s a red-haired queeny son; TAR7 loves the gays (god I miss Mary Cherry, she too loved the gays). I did notice that Phil is newly shorn. Welcome back kids.

Wonderfalls: The Complete Series

This is 13 hours of near perfection captured on dvd. There are two things that hamper the ultimate in perfection (in my opinion). 1.) Episode 11 is a little weak. The episode revolves around Mojandra trying to claim 1/8th Indian status with a tribe in Western NY. The ep is heavy on the Indian mojo and does not move the series far enough along when you look at the fact that there are only 13 episodes in total. Granted if there had been a whole season ordered, this episode would not stand out as much, but when you know there are only two more after Running Bull, you get worried that they will not wrap everything up the way you hope they will. 2.) The fact that there are only 13 episodes! I am happy the series was cancelled, that way it could not be compromised or led astray from the genius it was. What I would have liked though would have been to see what they could do with 9 more episodes (making it the normal 22 episodes of most shows).
Regardless, the 13 hours of viewing we do have preserved in crisp wide-screen beauty is what every fan of quirky, witty, well acted, incredibly well written television could ask for. This box set is in Heaven next to my �Freaks and Geeks� box set.

Alias 3.2.05


Alias
Originally uploaded by duckydale.
Thank you Alias writing staff for not killing Anna Espinosa! Gina Torres is such a commanding presence on screen that she has to stay around for a final showdown with Sydney. It was just announced this week that Torres will be joining Kristen Davis in �Soccer Moms� this fall, so it is possible that Anna Espinosa�s future is in jeopardy. In the meantime, I hope they milk her for all she�s worth. An escape will likely occur and she will come to her demise by Sydney�s hands, it�s inevitable. Just make it a May sweeps episode� please!
Sark is again M.I.A. Is he a changed man as he proclaims? Somehow I believe Sark could change more so than Sloan. Sark at least showed some vulnerability and emotion this week as he wept over the impeccably preserved corpse of Lauren Reed. And his final proclamation to Sydney before disappearing, �Sydney I�m a man of my word� just made me love him more.
Let�s talk the Dads shall we? Jack Bristow once again proved that he is a badaaaaassssss. Forcing Nadia out of her coma to save Sydney was a risky move and one only a fierce mofo could pull off. That�s our Jack! I wonder what this so called �pact� is between Sloan and Jack. Is it �you don�t kill mine, I won�t kill yours� or is there something even more sinister at hand? Regardless, I can�t wait to see how it plays out over the remainder of the season.
More predictions: Sloan is out of the picture by the end of the season. He either is out of their hair for good or he turns big bad again and the hunt is back on for Season 5. I just don�t believe they will allow Sydney and Dixon and everyone else to loath this man while having to trust him day in and day out for more than one season. He will forever be their nemesis and at some point before they are cancelled, they must eliminate him. Let me clarify� Sydney must eliminate that man.

Simple Life: Interns 3.2.05


Simple Life: Interns
Originally uploaded by duckydale.
I�ve not watched this since the first season when I swore up and down that Nicole Richie was a genius. And I continue to hold strong to my beliefs. I�ve witnessed her on Howard Stern, nothing is taboo with her, and she�ll talk the goods and dish the dirt on anyone. I appreciate that in a guest. I honestly believe in my black heart of hearts that Paris Hilton is a worthless waste of space but last night she pulled her weight in gold. Watching Paris do the weather on live television was quite possibly one of the funniest things I�ve ever witnessed. When the graphic zoomed out to include a shot of the earth from outer space and she looks at it and says: �This is the Earth� that�s hot.� Honestly I almost came undone. Tears.
My second favorite moment of the night was when the cooking segment chef asked Paris to fill a pot with water and Paris asks: �Tap Water?� The chef says: �Yes� and in unison, Paris and Nicole utter in disgust �Siiick!� I replayed that moment three times. Someone please give Nicole Richie her own show. I can�t go without.