duckyxdale

7/27/2005

Big Brother 6 - 7.26.05


The Veto Competition� I will say this folks, for as good and scheming our boy Will was back in BB2 History, he has nothing on the strategic abilities and the gumption (you read that right, gumption) of my man Kaysar! HOLY CRAP was this an episode to remember or what? This was epic on so many levels. The drama hit an all time high, the tension was thick enough to cut with a knife, there was scheming and backstabbing, secrets were revealed and later that night I heard Tom Cruise tried to denounce the whole show� Epic!

Watching as Kaysar laid out the plan � exposing the alliances and teams one by one and watching as faces just sank as they were called out of hiding and into his new master plan. Brilliance!

The chess game for the Power of Veto could not have been written to have more evil genius � Big Brother couldn�t have planned this if they tried. With each move, each houseguest on the opposition realized what was going down and with each move I laughed harder as Ivette (kudos for the Bobby Fischer line) was out leaving Maggie left to hang from the rope Kaysar, James, Howie, and Janelle hung for her! Unreal! The look on Eric�s face could only be topped by the look on Maggie�s when Kaysar revealed that she in fact was not the intended target in this game, but that Eric is and was all along. I CHEERED AT THE EPICOCITY (shut it, I know it�s not a word)!!!

This is what I�m talking about! For once, Big Brother cast a group of folks that at first seemed like your average pretty face and hard bodies to vacuously waste the summer away but has now been revealed to be the smartest and most game worthy opponents of all! This can only get better.

7/22/2005

Big Brother 6 - LIVE 7.21.05


I will comment on two things and two things only in this entry.

1. Eric the Midget is so out of control he makes Mariah Carey look sane. When he was in that room talking to April and Rachel about Michael I started screaming. If we recall, Eric the Midget started this whole Michael debacle � he is the one that branded Michael a sexual predator. He is the one that flung accusations. He is the one that rallied his gang against Michael for the safety and protection of the women in the house. He is also the one that last night that came to the dumb conclusion that Michael may have got a bum-rap in the house � that he may not be as bad as they thought. YOU CREATED THE TENSION, YOU CREATED THE RUMORS, YOU ARE THE ONE THAT GAVE HIM THAT REPUTATION AND THAT BEGAN THE LYNCHMOB and now� he might not be that bad. I only pray you are gone come next Thursday you Midget bitch.

2. Julie Chen is so far off on her game this season that I almost can�t watch the live show. Last night there were so many pauses of silence when she would speak to the houseguests live that it was mind numbing. She�d wait for reactions when it was obviously a non-reactionary moment. She�s pause for dramatic effect only to be laughed at by the houseguests because it was so awkward. She fumbled over more lines than a first grader giving the Gettysburg Address and that body glitter has got to go! The best worst moment of the night came in her live interview with Michael. Julie Chen is somehow under the impression that no one in the house has figured out the twist. I don�t think they update her on the what happens during the week, she thinks the world froze when they went off the air the previous Thursday with the manner in which she carries on. Fucking idiot. To paraphrase:

JULIE CHEN: �So Michael, as you know you and Kaysar were a team within the house � the big twist of Big Brother 6, the Summer of Secrets. What you didn�t know is that everyone in the house is playing on a team this season, The Summer of Secrets. What is your reaction��

CRICKETS CHIRP, JULIE CHEN�S BODY GLITTER BLOWS OUT THE BRIGHTNESS BALANCE ON MY TV� MICHAEL GIVES A SMILE OF �NO SHIT RETARD�

MICHAEL: �I knew that within the first week�

JULIE CHEN: �But what you didn�t know about this season, The Summer of Secrets, is that if a team of two makes it to the finale the runner up will win $250,000� (DEAD PAUSE TO WHICH MICHAEL LOOKS AROUND FOR A PRODUCER OR CANDID CAMERA)� and the Winner of Big Brother 6 � The Summer of Secrets will win..."

MY CAT JUST IMPALED HERSELF ON THE FIREPLACE POKER WITH BOREDOM�

JULIE CHEN: ��the biggest award in Big Brother history, One Million Dollars. What is your reaction to the secret now � here live talking about The Summer of Secrets?�

MICHAEL (with pained look of confusion as to what is expected of him): �Well that�s good for the winner��


Julie Chen and CBS�s weak ass attempts at intrigue and reveal are so pathetic to watch and hear over and over again each week when this otherwise stellar show goes live. If they created a drinking game around her two overused phrases: �The Summer of Secrets� and �The Biggest Reward In Big Brother History� or at the mention of �One Million Dollars� this whole country would be drunk enough to get excited each time she reminds us because some drunkards might actually think the television is addressing them! As Jon�s pointed out a thousand times (once for each time Chen has) YOU EXPECT ONE MILLION DOLLARS ON A REALITY SHOW NOW! It�s not new or exciting � give it a rest Julie Chen! Survivor scooped you about 6 years ago.

7/21/2005

Big Brother 6 - Big Brother Intervenes...


This house is gonna burn, burn mutha f*cker, burn! That could be the new theme song for Big Brother if things continue on the testosterone and racially charged path they�re heading. Wowza with the dramarama the other night. Eric the Midget (no not from Howard Stern) is so spastic and reactionary that if he is not gone soon after Michael, the game and that house will not survive the summer. He has created this fake sexual predator unsafe gang mentality environment with the women in that house and the sheep are following his Hitler-like motives blindly.

Michael is a patsy in this game. Granted he�s kinda creepy, but you never saw or heard one peep out of the women in that house until Eric the Midget climbed up onto his soap box (with a foot stool�s assistance I�m sure) and declared Michael the predatory enemy who must be extinguished before the women can feel safe. Chivalry is apparently still alive, it just comes in a 2� 3� bald frame. Its bullsh*t that the house turned so nasty the other night causing the voice of reason, Big Brother himself to intervene not once but twice.

Eric the Midget and Michael were seconds from throwing down backyard wrasslin� style when BB stepped in throwing them to separate parts of the house. Next up on the ticket were Kaysar and Ivette for some unknown reason. That bitch is crazy and not good crazy, like psychotic and pot-stirrin� crazy. She�s got more personalities and nationalities than the G8 summit with her �First I�ll go Latin on his ass� and her �then I�ll go full out Cuban on his ass� comments. Eric�s flock of sheep have fully adapted to the gang mentality and it is frightening to watch.

Next week Beau will be lynched after being dragged by his nostrils across the pool patio pavement just seconds after being refused the right to ride in the front of the bus.

In two weeks on a special Big Brother 6, Kaysar will learn that Eric the Midget�s fire house frat brothers have decapitated Kaysar�s entire Iraqi family and pictures of Kaysar naked with a burlap sack over his head will surface online� guess who�s wearing the fatigues and has the cigarette dangling from her lips? Ivette anyone?

7/18/2005

Big Brother 6 7.16.05


If ultra-�roid Eric doesn�t have a heart attack or a bleeding ulcer before his week of HOH is over it will be a friggin� Christmas miracle. He is hands down the most dramatic person to ever be within that house of fools. He is so panicked and worried all the time that it must be the most miserable week for the rest of the houseguests� seriously dude, it�s week two and there is not usually this much pot stirring� and drama until the final 10. This season may be the most game playing of them all if this intensity continues. Hell, I might even have a heart attack watching.

In other house news, could Kaysar be hotter? For some reason I found him 1000 times cuter knowing that he is comfy enough with his manhood and with Beau�s flaming to allow some straight/gay cuddle time and not be grossed out. That�s hot. He�s just a really nice and generous guy, so far the most deserving within the house.

Look at the brains on Janelle! Wait� Um, she does seem to be smarter than was originally led to be. Why not? She is using her charm and her two biggest assets to her advantage. Her chess strategy is incredibly smart as she is learning temperament of the males, assessing their intelligence, and in turn being able to create a bond and strategy for each person. She�s playing this game better and harder than the others, well besides ulcer boy. Her disgust for Eric and Ivette is inspiring. Sometimes the houseguests just don�t pay attention and for once she�s commenting on things we as Big Brother are noticing.

Another secret will be revealed this week � is it that Kaysar is really Gaysar? We could hope.

Degrassi: TNG 7.15.05


�I�ve never had a teacher pass me a note in class before�� Paige, Mr. O-No-You-Didn�t whispers to him in the janitor�s closet at school!!! I know that my favorite sassbucket Paige hasn�t been shacking up sinster style with her student teacher, the adorable Mr. O! Gotta love Paige and I definitely have gotta love some Degrassi for having the balls to not play down to their young viewers. This is smart, honest, and aggressive television for kids (and thirtysomethings) and I become more enamored with it weekly. If the love of Degrassi wasn�t enough to keep me going, the extra clever dialogue this season has been an extra bonus. The line of the night came as Craig�s comments on Marco�s super huge 90�s style Paula Abdul-esque curly hair post sleepover at Ellie�s which resulted in not having hair product to tame that beast�

Craig: �Wow, Marco with your hair all big like that you kinda look like Ashley�

Thank god someone brought up his hair � it�s getting ridonkulous.

Besides Paige�s jailbait escapades with Mr. O, this week - we focused on our resident Degrassi Goth-Cutter, Ellie and her continuing battles with independence post drunk Mom emancipation and Sean�s Post-Columbine escape from Toronto. Jon doesn�t really care for her storyline but I find it the truest in relation to real teen portrayal and the struggles they face. Cutting is a huge issue for young kids and the ostracism and anxiety that goes along with being the outcast doesn�t help. Over the years, Degrassi has really shown how far Ellie has progressed from just being the Goth girl with suicidal tendencies to being a somewhat lighter and freer version of herself who is still haunted by her past and unable to move on. She�s stopped cutting, but since Sean left her high and dry with their apartment and their bills she�s had a hard time sustaining her independence, paying her bills or caring for Sean�s pet, Ferret Bueller.

After a late night card game with gay Marco�s gay boyfriend�s hockey team and a swift and somewhat harsh reality check from my girl Alex, Ellie gave thought to moving back home with her now sober Mother. There were trust issues touched upon that were probably the most honest and sincere issues dealt with in Degrassi�s post-Columbine days (at least that weren�t sexually charged). In the end, Ellie made a deal with her drunk of a Mother � continue to try staying sober and in two months she�ll be back. It was a sweet moment for our girl in the mesh and black.

7/14/2005

2005 Emmy Nominations - Thoughts!

OUTSTANDING LEAD ACTOR IN A COMEDY SERIES
Jason Bateman (Arrested Development)
Ray Romano (Everybody Loves Raymond)
Tony Shalhoub (Monk)
Zach Braff (Scrubs)
Eric McCormack (Will & Grace)

I officially call a boycott of �Everybody Loves Raymond� � what, it�s off the air? Oh, I�ve never watched it so how would I know. I hate Ray Romano and his stupid loser show. What an asshole. And Eric McCormack, is he really getting nominated because he�s a straight man �acting� gay? Will is the least funny and the weakest cast member that �W&G� has.
Jason Bateman I love you and you better win this bitch!



OUTSTANDING LEAD ACTRESS IN A COMEDY SERIES
Marcia Cross (Desperate Housewives)
Teri Hatcher (Desperate Housewives)
Felicity Huffman (Desperate Housewives)
Patricia Heaton (Everybody Loves Raymond)
Jane Kaczmarek (Malcolm In The Middle)

I don�t know why people are so enamored with Teri Hatcher � yeah she�s kooky on the show but she�s still Teri Hack, I mean Hatcher. Have I mentioned the BAN of �Raymond� already? Come on already with the nominations. Oy. Oh � Oh � Oh and WHO ON EARTH WATCHES �Malcolm in the Middle� these days? Obviously the same jackoffs that aren�t watching Lauren Graham over on the WB or Kristen Bell over at UPN.


OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A COMEDY SERIES
Jeffrey Tambor (Arrested Development)
Jeremy Piven (Entourage)
Peter Boyle (Everybody Loves Raymond)
Brad Garrett (Everybody Loves Raymond)
Sean Hayes (Will & Grace)

Piven, dude� Let�s Hug It Out Bitch! Please. I love Jeremy Piven and if anyone in this category deserves to win it is this man! His portrayal of Ari is one of the highlights of my week and he never disappoints. Again with the �Raymond� I�m so over it. �Raymond� is the new �Sopranos� � enough already. Can someone tell me why Michael Cera (George Michael on �Arrested Development� is not on this list? Those Emmy voters need to pull their old ass heads out of old asses and recognize.



OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A COMEDY SERIES
Jessica Walter (Arrested Development)
Doris Roberts (Everybody Loves Raymond)
Holland Taylor (Two And A Half Men)
Conchata Ferrell (Two And A Half Men)
Megan Mullally (Will & Grace)

This is the only category where I won�t rip on �Raymond� because I actually love me some Doris Roberts. I�ll ignore this one long enough to say �Hurrah� for Jessica Walter � Lucille #1! Though I do not watch �Two and a Half Men� I do love me some ballsy Holland Taylor and the ample Conchata Ferrell. Karen Walker, always deserves a place on this list so no complaints there� �Raymond!�


OUTSTANDING GUEST ACTOR IN A COMEDY SERIES
Fred Willard (Everybody Loves Raymond)
Victor Garber (Will & Grace)
Jeff Goldblum (Will & Grace)
Bobby Cannavale (Will & Grace)
Alec Baldwin (Will & Grace)

Did they invent this category to just give �Will & Grace� more nominations? This means the end is so not in sight with these damn guest stars. It�s �Fagasy Island� over there with all those cheesy guests.


OUTSTANDING GUEST ACTRESS IN A COMEDY SERIES
Kathryn Joosten (Desperate Housewives)
Lupe Ontiveros (Desperate Housewives)
Georgia Engel (Everybody Loves Raymond)
Cloris Leachman (Malcolm in the Middle)
Blythe Danner (Will & Grace)

Kathryn Joosten? Who? Is that Ms. Huber? Forget Martha Huber, what about her evil sister Felicia � looooooves her! Do I need to point out the �Malcolm� and �Raymond� nods again? Honestly.


OUTSTANDING COMEDY SERIES
Arrested Development
Desperate Housewives
Everybody Loves Raymond
Scrubs
Will & Grace

I cannot believe that �Gilmore Girls� is not on this list. I do not watch the show but have a few times, enough to know it is hands down on of the wittiest and smartly written shows today. To nominate the barely noticed �Will and Grace� is obnoxious and is that �Raymond� I see in there? Why don�t they just go ahead and nominate �Britney and Kevin: Chaotic� in this category � that was the funniest thing on television.

OUTSTANDING LEAD ACTOR IN A DRAMA SERIES
James Spader (Boston Legal)
Ian McShane (Deadwood)
Hugh Laurie (House)
Hank Azaria (Huff)
Kiefer Sutherland (24)

And Matthew Fox�s name is missing because?


OUTSTANDING LEAD ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES
Jennifer Garner (Alias)
Mariska Hargitay (Law & Order: Special Victims Unit)
Patricia Arquette (Medium)
Glenn Close (The Shield)
Frances Conroy (Six Feet Under)

Kristen Bell anyone� Bueller� Bueller�


OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A DRAMA SERIES
William Shatner (Boston Legal)
Oliver Platt (Huff)
Naveen Andrews (Lost)
Terry O�Quinn (Lost)
Alan Alda (The West Wing)

Although they completely snubbed Matthew Fox they did get it right with nominating my miracle man, Locke! Who knew Terry O�Quinn would have a career after those Stepfather movies?



OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES
Sandra Oh (Grey's Anatomy)
Blythe Danner (Huff)
Tyne Daly (Judging Amy)
CCH Pounder (The Shield)
Stockard Channing (The West Wing)

Tubby Tubby 2x4 Tyne Daly gets nominated but we can�t throw some love or a rescue boat on over to Sun on that island of �Lost�? She pulled out some of the most amazingly heartbreaking scenes this past year � I would declare racism if Sandra Oh and CCH Pounder weren�t nominated. Drats.


OUTSTANDING DRAMA SERIES
Deadwood
Lost
Six Feet Under
24
The West Wing

And the winner is� �Veronica Mars�! She wasn�t nominated? I�m sorry I thought �The West Wing� was up there by mistake. My bad.


OUTSTANDING REALITY PROGRAM
Antiques Roadshow
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition
Penn & Teller: Bulls---!
Project Greenlight
Queer Eye for the Straight Guy

Ty Pennington�s scream fest was nominated? That�s Bulls---! I hate Ty Pennington and that bullhorn he screams into all the time. Dude, you�re miked � we can hear ya! The deaf woman next to me can hear you for Christ Sake.


OUTSTANDING REALITY/COMPETITION PROGRAM
The Amazing Race
American Idol
The Apprentice
Project Runway
Survivor

Will Austin Scarlet design the gown Charla will wear to the Emmy�s? That would be quite Amazing! How come �Rob and Amber Get Married� wasn�t anywhere on this nomination list? This might be the only category the voters got right!

7/13/2005

Rock Star: INXS - 7.12.05


I was in Atlanta on vacation when news came across the radio as we were driving down Peachtree that INXS singer and basic hottie was found dead� of possible sexual asphyxiation � that�s hot!

I�d actually seen INXS in concert twice and really enjoyed their early recordings. It was a somewhat jolting blow � not Cobain worthy but still a little jarring to hear. More jarring was that the ice aged rockers had made a deal with the devil to hold a reality show to find their new singer � because, you know� INXS is so relevant and known to today�s tween demographics. Brilliant. Wait, did they just announce that Brooke Burke will host? Is this �Wild On: INXS�?

I skipped Monday night�s premiere for no other reason than I didn�t think about it because I almost died at the gym earlier in the day and was possibly comatose or asleep when it aired. Tuesday night I was just lying around when it came on after BB6 so I decided to stick around for a minute.

All in all, the performances were actually really good. This is no American Idol � or is it? Navarro is Simon lite while the whole INXS gang is Paula Abdul with facial hair. Honestly they must be trying to find the most saccharine Amy Grant/Peter Cetera-esque of singers because they have nothing bad to say about any contestant.

And here�s something I don�t quite understand - why is it that contestants trying out to be in INXS are not singing INXS songs? I�m not super Producer Mark Burnett so what do I know? Not much other than every blonde girl on that stage has a better chance of fucking Dave Navarro than they do of becoming Michael Hutchence lite. Now, I�m not being sexist � I actually think a girl singer winning this gig would be genius � it could officially nail the coffin shut once and for all. There is however one girl that could possibly win this whole competition which I think would be bad for her future possibilities. She�s the dreadlocked Bif Naked like rocker (Jordis) with an amazing voice and scowl to match. She�s an incredible �rock� presence onstage and undeniably talented but would winning this competition mean that she�ll be dubbed the biggest sell out in history? She�s basically joining the biggest rock COVER BAND EVER! I don�t know about this kids�

Can you imagine the outrage and freak show that TLC show on UPN will be? If a contestant shows up to audition in front of T-Box and Chili with a condom on her left eye � I�ll piss myself and wait for the beat down! Replacing a white male singer who�s fan base is even whiter middle aged persons is nothing compared to the fierce ghetto bitches all up in the Left-Eye camp. Can�t wait!

Big Brother 6 - 7.12.05


Okay Howie�s creepiness just shot up like 10 fold. What with the male physique commentary and the drag references from this guy? Some serious personal and mental health issues for a late twenties male that wants to be a meteorologist; get some help � possibly you could see the same shrink that oversees Tom Cruise�s personal life.

The HOH chick has some serious control issues as w ell. Now I�m not saying that I would have given up the secret room information at first either but to then dictate how people will rotate within the room and then go on to win the Veto? She honestly has no clue that she�s a controlling bitch. I just hope they all backstab her and am I wrong in thinking that her �teammate� is Howie? Has to be, right?

And I�ll say this� The Muslim is quite possibly the most normal person they have ever thrown into that house � if they kick him out there�ll be a jihad.

7/12/2005

The Comeback 7.10.05


CHARLA! This episode was probably the strongest one yet. Cross-promoting �The Comeback� with �The Littlest Assistant� having Charla go around being different people�s assistant for a day was quite the plot line and obviously too much for our Valerie Cherish to handle.

Valerie�s multiple meltdowns were well deserved; girl on girl porno tapes were discovered, Charla came in and brought Valerie to her knees (literally � she has the bloody scabs to prove it), and finally Entertainment Weekly�s cover story �Is Reality TV Dead� forced this already shaky veneer of calmness and poise Valerie�s been trying to uphold to fragile breaking points. I rewatched the episode ON DEMAND and laughed just as hard the second time as Charla is trying to cross the road and Val is screaming for her while trying to catch a cab. BRILLIANT!!!!!!!!!!!!

If Valerie had her wish I am sure this episode would have been �flagged;� my god she�s so out of touch with the reality of her reality show. She thinks she has some control over what is shown and if she were a real person would be mortified to discover that the whole show centers on her awkward moments of overcompensation and control. I am really enjoying this show and am even more enamored with Lisa Kudrow.

Surreal Life 5 Premiere

After the premiere that just aired - This is going to be the best freak show on television � I am so excited for Sunday nights! Omarosa, Pepa, and Janice Dickinson? Three loud mouth and opinionated women with a propensity for divafication in one household? There are bound to be some good time catfights, breakdowns, and ego slaps as this season unfolds.

Somehow I see Janice being the one to unravel most (gee � wonder what gave me that idea? See Paulo/Paula/Pabo et al). Pepa actually seemed pretty down to earth but I still wouldn�t provoke a sista. Omarosa actually came across as not as bad as I would have imagine. She gets major points for not being the first to loose it and scores unreal points for having the balls to confront the big elephant in the room (Jose) about his wife beating past and other indiscretions! It was genius television; especially after the women of the house were all freaked out about his woman hating past and upon introduction he commented on �beating� Omarosa and �victimizing� them. I was in tears because they couldn�t have written the tension any better. God someone tell Canseco to please lay off the plastic surgery. That face has been �juiced� more times than Joan Rivers.

One of those girls (possibly the faux-Brit Caprice � isn�t that a slim cigarette?) commented on Carey Hart�s hotness. Girl watch you ass, Pink will beat you down before you can even strike a waifish pose. You�ve been warned!

Out of all the seasons I�ve watched (3 or 4 of them) this will hands down be the most hellacious, scandalous, and nastiest season by far! Let the games begin and someone please tell me that Andy Dick will be back because his introductions were hysterical. I love Andy Dick.

The Closer - Ep. 03


Apparently Kyra�s character Brenda has a mean streak in her as evident by this episode where she not only takes on the son of a Russian mob boss but also the FBI to solve the murders of two teen Russian immigrant sex workers. I love this character and her fearless get the job done attitude in the face of adversity and bureaucracy. When she realized that the FBI was providing a false alibi for her number one suspect she did what she had to do to seek justice. If the courts and the government were not going to work in her favor (as many of them were tied to the Russian boss or prostitution ring) she was going to seek justice the only way feasible� by ensuring the man responsible was put in the impossible situation of proving the FBI�s false alibi wrong (which was not going to happen).

She set the son of the Russian mob boss up! By backing both the FBI and the mob�s lawyers into a corner, she in essence sealed this kid�s fate. Either way, if he confessed or not, he would be found out as an FBI mole by his family - which would buy him a one way ticket to deadsville. She is a cold woman but it was amazing to watch the events unfold and to see her getting deeper and deeper up shitscreek with the mob and the FBI but refusing to back down because these were teenage girls that noone cared if their crimes went unsolved! Hell, the FBI knew this kid killed both whores but refused to act on it because they needed him to play the main role in their shakedown of his family; corruption at its finest. Really an incredible episode which really showed proved a great twist on your procedural crime drama and some unreal character development and emotion from Kyra Sedgwick.

Strip Search (VH1) 7.7.05

As much as I�ve enjoyed this brief summer series, I have to say that Billy Cross is going to end up with the biggest bunch of jamokes this side of a Klan rally. Each of these supposed macho men are more catty and gay than anyone I�ve ever seen portrayed on television. It�s non-stop catfights about who�s prettier, who has the better body, and disappointment when made to feel like second best. It�s ridiculous. They have the worst personalities and a couple of them are just down right nasty in face and demeanor. How straight women find them attractive is beyond me. Now, there are a couple that are genuinely nice and only one I would have classified as hot business and both the nice one (Bryce) and the hot one (David) were eliminated last night ensuring that this final troop of 7 will be Las Vegas cheese all the way.

This had me thinking, do women really find that type of man attractive? What about punk/emo/rocker chicks � they cannot find the beefed up and intelligence impaired grease monkey�s attractive can they? I need to find out.

Big Brother 6 Premiere


Man, Howie the meteorologist with the grossly surgerized face is a tool! That is the first thing that ran through my head as these 14 contestants strutted their stuff in horribly scripted and forced �character introductions� to begin this summer�s installment of the guilty pleasure BB6. Howie�s toolocity continued the more he was on screen � I just can�t look at that face of his. Sicka!

Overall it looks like a fun season � the revamped house is incredibly large and the addition of more camera�s and incredibly more microphones should prove for some interesting sights and sounds as the three month stint plays out.

Julie Chen is as lifeless as ever with her stoic mannerisms and uptight suit. I always enjoy the live eviction night because she actually wears something more loose and relaxed than those sickly tailored business suits she dons the other nights. You�d think with her being married to the head of CBS and all that she would have better choice of outfits. And here we go again with her constant reminders of the �secrets� each season of BB brings. Last year I think we heard �DNA� about 85 times a week and the year before �The X Factor� was used more times than the jesus juice at Neverland ranch. Last night alone, Julie uttered �Summer of Secrets� at least 20 times in the hour broadcast. That�s a lot of secrets Jules, get to givin�.

I knew that going into last night�s show that they probably wouldn�t give up which groups of two in the house were working together and that didn�t bother me until the actual game began to get paranoid. Like those 7 on the surfboard made a pact but you know that more than likely half of those 7 have their �other� within the 7 that were not competing for HOH! I need to know because I want to know who�s already lying to whom! I LOVE IT! I cannot wait until next week to find out who�s zoomin� who and when plastic weather face will get the boot!

As we watched the houseguests gather silently before entering the house I immediately began looking for those folks that might try to sneak a glance or a smirk at their �teammate� but had no luck. I immediately gave myself up as the one - that if cast - would have been the first one revealed because I just don�t have a face that can hide any form of emotion and I�d just start cracking up trying to get my �teammate� to show any sign of recognition. It would be too funny. First scene with all the houseguests and I would have already broken the secret � doh!

7/07/2005

Paul feig - Freaks and Geeks


Paul Feig wouldn�t tell the sold out crowd at The Coolidge Corner Theatre about his adolescent neck injury from trying to �recreate the sensation one receives� when getting a blowjob but many other embarrassments of riches were brought up as he read from his new book �Superstud.� Co-sponsored by Brookline Booksmith and the Coolidge, the creator of the series of perfection �Freaks and Geeks� was blown away by the crowd that gathered to hear him speak, sign and introduce two of his favorite episodes of �F&G� on this unbearably rainy evening in Boston.

From the �rope feeling� to nude photo art escapades all the way to his days as Detroit�s stand in Ronald McDonald he filled the packed crowd with incredibly funny stories and jabs at the Hollywood elite as he recanted his days of geekdom and stardom as the man behind one of televisions most underrated yet worshiped shows in history. He�s tall and skinny; a fast talker with a bombastic voice that just gives him this presence and likeability that is undeniably sweet and mild-mannered.

He conceded that Sam and Lindsay are the two characters he most identified with and most represented his childhood. Sam was the shorter version of Paul Feig in High School but Lindsay represented Paul Feig at the time the series was created. He joked that Lindsay was him at age 30 � it took males till the age of 30 to reach the maturity level of a High School girl. He also let it be known that he had quite the soft spot for Bill Haverchuck as he really did represent the �geek� of 1980 and that originally Bill was based off of his friend that actually was semi-retarded but that the network didn�t really want to go that direction.

In casting he said that his favorite story was when they were in Quebec seeing hundreds of actors, he came across Stephen Lea Sheppard sitting in the corner reading a book. He eventually was cast as Harris Trinsky and shooting was just about to begin on the first episode so they had to rush immigration papers for Sheppard as he was Canadian and supposed to be in the infamous fight scene along with Bill and Neal but apparently �rushing� immigration papers is only done if there is no other person in the American that can perform the task that this immigrant is to perform. So, Paul Feig forged recommendation letters from Speilberg and Scorsese saying that Stephem Lea Sheppard is the best actor they�ve ever seen. It was hysterical! If you�ve seen the show, you know that although he is quite funny, he�s no Oscar contender nor the prettiest of the bunch!

I fucking love the guy! He was a showrunner that actually lived and breathed his series. He put all of his heart and soul into those characters and honestly wanted to do nothing more than tell the tale of the other half � those outside of the cheerleading and football circles. He talked about how NBC was so frustrated with the stories because there were no �victories� for the characters � nothing big and good came to them. He said he always argued that there were victories in every story� by the end of each episode it was a victory that those characters survived. It was a funny comment but you could tell that THAT really was the goal and heart of the show.

The two episodes that he chose to screen were �among� his favorites. The first was �Girlfriends and Boyfriends� which had his favorite Harold Weir story (Korean hookers and misspent $5 bill). The second was �Looks and Books� where Lindsay wrecks her parents car after Daniel and the gang convince her to help them get band equipment. This is the one where Lindsay rejoins the Mathletes and the one where Sam slaps on that leisure suit to impress Cindy with his new look. Genius!

Unlike Harold Weir losing his virginity to a $5 Korean Red Light District Hooker, my night with Paul Feig was incredible and the best $5 I've spent in ages! Well, make that the best $5 Jon spent in ages as I didn't have cash on me. Whoops!

Donna, sorry you missed it. You would have just died.

Degrassi: TNG - Summer Season 05 Premiere


�You know what blowjobs are don�t you?� Did that just come out of my television? Was blowjob just uttered at 8:10pm on the children�s network The N? Is Emma Nelson in a van down by the ravine with bad-boy scum bucket Jay � about to give him head? Oh My God Degrassi! I almost passed out; Jon actually thought I was going to hyperventilate because I was gasping at the words being spoken in this, the summer premiere of Degrassi: The Next Generation. Shock and Awe kids� Degrassi: It still goes there!

Ever evolving and growing as the social icon it is, Degrassi only gets better with every season and its importance in teen culture only becomes more self-evident. Last season they tackled the Columbine tragedy of teenage alienation, rage, and gun violence as Rick shot up Degrassi Community School. This summer, the story continues as the kids of Degrassi continue to deal with the issues of death and the ramifications of their adolescent actions.

First up: Emma struggles after staring down the barrel of Rick�s gun and later witnessing Rick�s death - not knowing how to cope, she�s been in a haze for months� until this episode where her lost sole finds that any connection to life (no matter how out of character or promiscuous it may be) is better than being numb and alone. Oh no! She�s off giving bj�s to her nemesis Alex�s boyfriend to feel the thrill and danger of being something she�s not. She collects little colored bracelets that signify how far you�ve gone sexually (apparently a new trend amongst the teens) to try and prove she�s a new person only to lose respect from those that love and know her most - her old friends and family � which gives way to the second best line of the night (Emma to Manny The Man-Stealer that had an abortion last season: �At least I can�t get pregnant� � No you didn�t Emma Nelson, No You Didn�t!)

Long story not so short, Jay�s girlfriend Alex goes to the doctor and discovers she has Gonorrhea � comes back to school and beats the shit out of another girl, Amy who�s also been fooling around with Jay, leaving Emma shocked and scared back into reality! Gotta love a catfight! By episode�s end, Emma is off to Spike and Snake to tell them the truth and to get an appointment at the clinic. Girls got some splainin� to do!

Next up: Spinner confesses to Jimmy that he lied to deflected Rick�s accusations (about the �Carrie�-esque tar and feathering which led Rick to go Columbine) by telling him that Jimmy was the one behind the humiliating plot which in turn led to Rick gunning Jimmy down leaving him paralyzed from the waist down for the rest of his life. Whoops Spin!

Entourage 7.3.05



And it only gets better kids! Finally Vince acts like he�s actually concerned with something other than getting laid! It�s great to see both E and Ari sweat as they scramble Los Angeles trying to get a meeting with James Cameron to secure Vince as �Aquaman� saving his career and the boys from being homeless and penniless.

There are two things this week that made me wish this show was more than 30 minutes. The first was Lloyd�s new Andre 3000 look and Ari�s subsequent barb �You look like Michelle Kwan in drag!;� the second was the return of Emily, Ari�s once verbally abused assistant and now gate keeper to James Cameron�s schedule. She is so damn cute and sassy that I hope she sticks around for a while and actually gets something good out of these Entourage men. Scenes with these two characters left me wanting more right then and there � not 7 days down the road.

Angel - Season 3 - "Billy"


Imagine you�ve just been rescued from a hell dimension from which you were imprisoned as a slave and then on the run as a fugitive living in a cave for five years� Now imagine being trapped in an abandoned hotel with your rescuer stalking you door by door and hall by hall with an axe! Poor Fred!

This episode solidified �Angel� as the smartest of the Whedonverse shows. With homage to �The Shining� (that actually sent chills down my spine), this episode was just pure evil! Wesley and Gunn were infected by the blood of (the also just rescued from a hell dimension) Billy. See, Billy was rescued by Angel from a fiery hell-cell in order to save Cordelia from dying by the hands of Wolfram & Hart�s lovely but insane Lilah Morgan. Billy has this power over males who come in contact with him, causing them to enact unnerving violence on women so he can witness and get pleasure from their pain and torture. Phew what a guy!

Because I�ve done it no justice, here is the plot summary courtesy of tv.com:
Angel's loyalty to his friends comes back to haunt them in this chilling episode, an unsettling blend of the series' usual horrors with the more realistic issue of violence against women. Angel and Cordelia both knew there would be consequences when he freed the partially demonic (but totally evil) Billy from a fiery prison in hell in order to save her. Those fears are realized when a wave of violence against women is traced back to Billy, whose mere touch has the power to bring out the worst in otherwise good men. The crew rushes to prevent another brutal attack, unaware that Wesley has already been infected---and he's alone in the hotel with Fred.


But in true Whedon glory, the episode also features some of the wittiest dialogue and bitchy banter you�ve ever heard courtesy of Cordelia Chase and the black-eyed and emotionally frail Lilah Morgan. Here are some samples:

Cordelia: I want you to help me stop him.
Lilah: And what makes you think I'm gonna do that?
Cordelia: Well, there's your face, for starters.
Lilah: I know the risks of my job and I accept them.
Cordelia: Why were you crying five minutes ago? There's not a thing about badly-reapplied mascara that I don't know.

Cordelia: Angel feels responsible because he brought this guy back from hell. I feel responsible because he did it to save me. You, who are actually responsible for the entire thing, feel nothing at all, because you are a vicious bitch.
Lilah: So? You know me.
Cordelia: Please! I WAS you... with better shoes.
Lilah: These are Boracci.
Cordelia: Fall collection?
Lilah: Next spring.
Cordelia: He's widened the heel.
Lilah: And rounded the toe.
Cordelia: That won't work with pink.
Lilah: Pink is out this spring.
Cordelia: Billy makes people crazy�

7/01/2005

A Plea to UPN



Though I am a new fan to the show and have yet to see more than a handful of episodes, I am deeply concerned and saddened by your recent series alterations or shall we call them demands placed upon series creator Rob Thomas and how this will more than likely ruin the Veronica Mars that legions of obsessed and vocal fans have grown to love.

You�ve asked for a more diverse cast. How does a sunny So-Cal based show become more �diverse� when there are already more minority characters of varying economic backgrounds and social status populating Neptune, CA than a gathering of the United Nations? Under any other showrunner or studio head, the sunny affluent setting for VMars would normally be portrayed as a school of all white bred 09�ers who�s actors are more than likely old enough to run for City instead of Student Council?

You�ve demanded more 20 somethings be introduced to help bring in bigger numbers from the new fall lead-in �ANTM4� but it seems that you�ve forgotten that Veronica Mars is in High School by day and helping her middle aged Father by night. A recent interview with Rob Thomas hinted that our little blonde detective may start taking college level courses in the fall to meet your unnecessary and misguided forceful suggestions. Because scantily-clad coeds in an academic setting don�t already exist on a show where the High Schoolers look like their in their late 20�s and dress like Paris Hilton� Though this is not a departure for Veronica�s character, as she�s very smart and wise beyond her years, you will be losing the core of the show which is the classism and corruption of a younger generation brought on by the evils seen in society and how to overcome it all while finding yourself in this mad mad world.

I know that Rob Thomas will do his very best to retain the integrity of the show and I am sure he will fight you tooth and nail to ensure Veronica does not suffer from the sophomore slump. I pray you back off and realize that although �ANTM� is your biggest show, it doesn�t mean you ruin your best show in hopes of becoming a Primetime Player. You are after all UPN not ABC or even The WB.

Thank you,

Dan McCallum

Veronica Mars - Episodic Thoughts



Return of the Kane
Can someone please tell me that Veronica Mars does not end up with Logan Echolls! I know that he�s supposed to be a misguided and misunderstood rich kid that�s had no parental supervision and only acts out because he needs love - but Logan Echolls? Say it isn�t so. Granted I�ve only seen his pompous and devious acts in 6 episodes but homeless boxing is down right evil and there has to be something beyond wanting attention that pushes a person to coordinate that ring of humiliation and degradation.

Now is it wrong to then say that I was rightfully upset by Logan going into a closet, selecting a belt and hand delivering it to his father before pulling up his shirt and down his drawers to receive the obvious ritual of a severe beating while his oppressed and somewhat disturbed enflamed lip Mother sips on a cocktail as whipping cracks shatter the silence of the large Echolls abode? It was quite the image.



An Echolls Family Christmas
Bah-humbug, UPN is airing these episodes out of order. What�s up with that? We skipped over like 7 episodes and shot straight to the holiday season in Neptune, CA. Now as you know, Christmas is my favorite time of year and if I had the power and money that Lips McGee - Lisa Rinna�s character has then I too would be throwing the biggest bash this side of the North Pole equipped with 20� crystal encrusted cone shaped tree and a snow machine. If I�m lucky though, my significant other won�t get stabbed after having slept with half the women in town at the Halloween party a few months back... kinda puts a damper on the festivities.

What did not put a damper on my spirits though was the sassy Mars� deduction of the $5000 poker game gone awry. Like the Beastie Boys said, �She�s Crafty� that Veronica Mars and with each week I love her more and more. This week alone she double �damned� a boy�s abs before exposing ex-flame Duncan Kane as a fake-drunk and the richest boy in school as the son of a butler� all fakes. Nothing and no one is safe from my Veronica Mars, not even Daddy Kane (the sexy Kyle Secor from his bi-days back on �Homicide�) as she emotionally confronts him about the photo�s she discovered that sent her Mom on the run. Photos of Veronica with gun sight marks drawn on her face.

She�s strong and at times a little insane to confront someone that may or may not have hired someone to kill you but damnit, isn�t that what the holidays are all about? A little blackmail under the tree followed by a sip of sweet revenge-nog after roasting a bunch of nuts over an open fire.


Silence of the Lamb
Sheriff Lamb is a dick, but you know who�s a bigger dick? The jacknut at UPN that decided to air these episodes out of order. Luckily we have the internet and lovely sites like televisionwithoutpity.com and the newly revamped tv.com (once tvtome) to guide me through the missed plotlines and character introductions that would otherwise have me more lost than well� �Lost.� Another annoyance before I talk about this episode � UPN.com doesn�t even have an episode guide for VMars. Apparently the same douchebag that�s running the network is in charge of programming the website. I digress.

I�ll take a moment to catch my breath, not from that last paragraph�s rant but from watching the introduction of Deputy Leo � good gawd. Go Veronica Go with your bad self. She used her adorable good looks and witty demeanor to win over the heart of Neptune�s newest Deputy, Deputy Leo who�s all of 20 years old and sexier than he is smart. Unfortunately by episode�s end, the newly smitten Veronica Mars� and her come ons and eventual con just got him suspended. Whoops Veronica Mars! That�s alright girl I saw part of an episode last spring where you kiss him at the 80�s dance!

Oh, the plot� the most satisfying and some what disjointed storyline was watching Napoleon Dynamite�s Tina Majorino�s Mac discover the truth behind her Nascar loving toe-head parents. If UPN aired all the episodes this summer I would know more about Mac and her switched at birth other half, the rich bitch Madison Sinclair. I�m going to assume that something comes from this startling revelation that Mac is really living with Madison�s biological and less rich parents while Madison lives it up as the only blonde in the family high atop that mansion of Mac�s biological parents. I missed an emotional beat at the end as Madison�s mother, Mac�s biological Mother pays Mac a silent and somewhat stalkerish visit as Mac heads out for a camping trip with her switched at birth parents. The beat was missed because I�d never been introduced to Mac before so it was hard to understand her true emotions and motivs.

I just looked online and noticed that next week�s episode is actually in chronological order so maybe UPN jumped ahead to the second half of the season to give viewers a chance to see how the death of Lilly Kane is solved. Is there really a method to their madness over there? If there was, would we be subject to �Cuts�, �A Bad Girls Guide�, or �RUtheGirl�?