Did Anyone Break Out of that Prison?

Cause I didn't see it. I'd like to break Comcast in half. Miss the best show of the new season. I guess I'll wait until Thursday night to see if spoons were used to dig on out. God bless hot sweaty prisoners and Fox repeating things to death!

Veronica Mars - Weapons of Class Destruction

As my friend Donna will confirm, when I began watching the reruns this summer, I never in a million years would have bought Veronica and Logan as an item. Hell, at the beginning I couldn�t even buy Logan as anything but a spoiled little bitch with an anger management issue and propensity for being a real jackass but I am here to contest� Veronica and Logan together is hot business!

Not only is it hot, it makes more sense than I ever would have imagined. Their bitter rivalry and hatred for each other completely makes sense now. There was always an attraction there, whether or not they explore this later on I don�t know, but there are so many factors to their hatred and attraction. They were brought together and apart by Lily Kane. Each dating the others best friend � they were always peripheral friends. Lily eats it poolside and Veronica not only investigates Lily�s lover (Logan) but her brother, Veronica�s own ex (Duncan). I guess that could cause some ripples in the class structure that is high school and a possible friendship flew out the classroom window.

In a moment of holy crapdom, Logan asked Veronica to help him find his big lipped-flew off the Coronado Bridge Mother, Veronica was there for him in his weakest moments. When they staked out that posh hotel and found that Willow was impersonating Logan�s mother, she was there when he completely broke down having finally accepted his Mother�s fate. I just hope his feelings for her are not residual gratefulness for her kind deeds. I�ll weep with disgust.

Although I�ve yet to see how the four remaining episodes play out, I do already know that the season ends with a mystery man at little miss Mars� door. If it�s not Logan, screams will be heard from Boston to Neptune because the other rumor is that it may be Duncan. I�ve yet to see evidence that their relationship should be resuscitated. Logan Logan Logan Logan Logan Logan� the spirit squad chants. I mean come on, the kid came up with this line�

Logan: I�m not leaving you alone with Jumpstreet.

Now in a completely Logan free direction the Wallace/Veronica dynamic is getting complicated but its great to see their bond holding strong. My two favorite lines of the night came from either one or both of them�

Veronica: Hey, last night you said something. Am I really your best friend?
Wallace: Who else do you see in the running?
Wallace: Quit smiling at me.

And the best zinger of the episode�

Wallace: He's not gropin' her, is he?
Veronica: No, but earlier I saw him cutting a hole in the bottom of the popcorn bucket.

Reconsidering Connor

Sunday afternoon I finished Season 4 of �Angel.� Hands down this is one of the all-time great television series. Hello, Faith�s comeback episodes were like orgasmic� Five by Five! And the Jasmine episodes should have garnered the show an Emmy nom at the least. It�s smart, funny, witty, full of angst, blood, and violence, what�s not to like?

Connor was what I didn�t like when I started watching randomly a couple years ago in preparation for the coming of Spike in Season 5. Connor always seemed like this whiney long-haired bitch-boy and I never understood his purpose or how he even came to be (because I didn�t see the three seasons before his birth � that�s all). All I knew was that he had tried to kill Angel and that he slept with Cordelia resulting in a Nubian hell-spawn. Back then, when Angel took over Wolfram & Hart, releasing his son to the common world to live with a real family it didn�t mean much� that was until I finally watched Seasons 1 through 4 in their entirety. This kid was pretty darn cool. He had incredible fighting skills (with him came the reinvention of the �Angel� fight sequence. More Matrix than hand to handy) and a good sense of wit about him. He grew up in a hell dimension after being kidnapped by a long-time nemesis of Angel (Holtz who�s whole family was murdered by Angel - so Holtz took the only family Angel ever knew, his son Connor) and was brought back to in part bring upon the Apocolypse� like you wouldn�t have teen issues? I realized that with Connor�s birth came great consequences and sadness. I guess the living offspring of two dead vampires could tend to mess with the universe�s stability� you�d be angsty too! His bitchy demeanor has been excused!

I guess I just finally understood the progression of Connor and why he was there to begin with. As an outsider a couple years ago it seemed that this show completely jumped the shark, derailed from the Buffyverse and set sail to off-track island, but now I know better. The focus and planning that must have gone into bringing this character to life (mythology-wise) can only be summed up as gynormous!

Not only was he wrapped up in the Darla/Angel storyline set in motion two seasons prior, but how he affected Angel/Cordelia, Angel/Wesley, Angel/Wolfram & Hart, Angel/Lorne� really set the tone for this kid to feel hopeless and alone. I actually felt bad for him by the time he was being manipulated by fat Cordelia, er� pregnant Cordelia. Her crazy ass just about ruined everything.

When Angel made the sacrifice to lose his son forever, subsequently erasing Connor from everyone�s mind and everyone from Connor�s it saddened me because how much can this vampire handle in the guilt and sadness department. He just gave away his kid to another family. He�ll have no memory of Angel, Inc. Damn, it�s having that one day in the sun with Buffy all over again. Only Angel will remember. Only Angel will know the sadness that comes with giving Connor what he always wanted � a family. Well, that is until Connor shows up in Season 5 and reveals he remembers everything and everyone. Amazing payoff now that I know why he was sent away to begin with.

Did I mention Cordelia needed to go? By the time she was done being the �vessel� and all evil, I was ready for her ass to be comatose until death the next season. Bring on Blondie Bear and Harm!

My Super Sweet 16 - The Destruction of Civilization

So one of the best trends in recent memory is the glorification and celebritizing (yes I made that word up) of undeserving rich adolescent bitches on national television. If Paris Hilton has taught us one thing, it�s that being a spoiled little diva is something to aspire to especially if MTV is willing to follow your every disgusting and unrecognizably human behaviors!

Last week the hellmouth below Southern California opened again when this show of �Big Bad� proportions returned. I haven�t been this grossed out since discovering a porn called SQUIRT while in High School. And the man wasn�t the one squirting if ya know what I mean. Sicka!

What I have appreciated is the web assault that has been unleashed on the selfish preppy collared rag featured in last week�s Season 2 premiere. A TVGuide critic wished death upon her and all her friends as did numerous other web publications and bloggers. Not since Osama Bin Laden has America rallied against such pure evil. It�s refreshing to see.

Does MTV think young girls are looking to this show for inspiration or affirmation of their existence? Is a 15 year old living in a trailer in Boise really supposed to watch as an oil baron buys his daughter a hummer and throws her a $40k party and think� �Yes, just one more year until I get that!� If I was a parent of a fifteen year old girl, I would either be writing to MTV demanding answers, blocking MTV on the cable box, or slowly placing arsenic in my daughter�s oatmeal in hopes of her croaking before she can ask for that party of mega-unrealistic grandeur.

The sense of entitlement and the disregard for all things middle class shown by this series is appalling. I highly doubt MTV is trying to make a socio-economic statement in airing such atrocities but I�m sure if pushed, that�s the way their stance would lean. Am I that out of the loop? Is this really what teenage girls look to on television for idols? Are the rantings, ravings, and unnecessary demands of barely pubescent girls the determining factors of cool in high school? Heaven hear our prayer. The lord is my� who am I kidding � I�ve watched every episode. Purely for anthropological reasons of course� You don�t know!

Big Brother 6 8.18.05 - All Hell Breaks Loose

Could Janelle have been more genius last night? Honestly she was rolling with the personal attacks and verbal smackdowns, I was in tears laughing. Here are a few of my favorites...

"Rachel you're so pretty... Maggie you're such a bitch! Jennifer you look like a cow."

To Beau: "You gold digging whore... whore! whore! whore! whore! whore! whore! whore! whore! You date older men! whore!"

After nominating Jennifer and Maggie, she screamed this as Howie carried her out of the room: "Goodbye bitches!"

She was just non-stop last night, knowing every step of the way what was coming out of her mouth and why. She was playing the game dirrrty last night and her name is not Christina! I thoroughly enjoyed the verbal smackdowns Janelle was throwing and hope it continues. Someone's gonna end up in a catfight before this thing is over.

With the language the way it is, CBS may have to move this show from 8pm to 10pm because half of last night's screamfest was nothing but curse words. As much as I enjoyed Howie's adolescent tirade on April, I kind of felt bad. Not much mind you but a little bit of me felt bad because she actually took it all so seriously and to heart. Honey do you really think Howie, sweet innocent stupid Howie is going to eat your dog on a slice of pizza? She was acting like the man was really going to saute her dog and have him for dinner. Honey, they're words... deal.

That said, it was hands down the best episode this show has ever pulled off in the drama department. BB6 has more trouble than it could have hoped for and with all cards shown and all hands revealed it could only get nastier before it gets better.

If I was James, I would sit back and let each group tear each other apart. Ride this wave buddy because the minute KayKay was nominated, you were forgotten.

OH! the other brilliant part was when Janelle won the HOH and Glitter McChen told Jennifer to hand over the key... that bitch threw it on the ground and CBS got some unblurred flipping of the bird from Janelle to Jennifer's face! Meow!!!!!!

PS- go to this site for a bit of inspired work!

Brat Camp 8.17.05

As this stellar series begins to come to its emotional close, it�s hard to not root for some and completely wish the worst for others. Hands down the kid that made the most progress after entering the wilderness program was Lexie, the obstinate teen whose emotional problems all stemmed from being raped as a child. She really was able to confront her issues and understand that she is a person worth loving and living for. Each week she pushed herself harder and further than any of those kids and it paid off in spades with an early release from the program, she was reunited with her family for Christmas.

When I say that I�ll cry during TV shows, it�s not an exaggeration. As the three kids that were released for the holidays were reunited with their families after making such great progress, I was almost weeping. I had tears trickling as Heather hugged her adoptive parents (also her aunt and uncle) but let me tell ya� I had drops streaming down my face and off my chin when Lexie�s family arrived. Not kidding I just got goose bumps typing this� When her little brother ran full speed at her and jumped into her arms I fucking lost it. Bawling like a bitch. It was so incredible to watch her transformation and it was so hopeful to see her family so excited to have their daughter back, possibly restored, that I just couldn�t take it. Even little Nick�s reunion with his family had me a little misty. What a great sense of hope and accomplishment this series has instilled in (not only) those kids and families but hopefully other families in crisis. Sure there has been a backlash. Sure those kids are far from fixed. Sure, there will be those problem kids that Sagewalk just can�t reach and there will be families that can�t afford it (as its been reported that Sagewalk is like $600/day) but overall this show did some good in my opinion. They�ve never represented the program as a miracle cure, as a one stop shop for sanity � they�ve always presented it as the beginning to a healthier and reformed life. Therapy after the program is obviously a must, if a parent sent their kid there thinking it would solve their problems then the parents are the biggest problem.

Like say� Fucking Jada. The girl is just a spoiled little rich manipulative bitch that figured out years ago how to push her parents� buttons and how to lie her way into getting whatever she wants. Her upbringing is her main problem. Those weak ass and emotionally retarded parents of hers have raised a demon. She is a product of her environment, end of story. The girl needs a good beating, not a nature walk in a blizzard. As recent news reports have already foreshadowed, the program went lost on our little diva. Just a couple weeks ago she almost killed a family of four that had the fortune of meeting her Jaws style. They were in an inflatable raft relaxing and soaking up the summer sun when Hell With Horsepower came ripping through the lake on a speed boat and ran over the family�s inflatable. Luckily no one was seriously hurt but it really does go to show that this girl got nothing out of her two months in isolation. She�s a waste.

Another attitude heavy teen, Isaiah, was in the papers too. Not for his good community service or educational merits but for being a violent racist! Nothing says reformed like spray painting racial slurs on a black woman�s house. What a good kid. God, we all should be so lucky.

Jon had the best observation of the night� The reason those three kids were released early was that each of them had a singular definable issue to tackle where the majority of the other kids are either spoiled or emotionally incapable of identifying their issues and dealing with them. Lexie was raped, Heather�s Mother has been in a coma for 14 years and Nick has dyslexia. On the flipside, Jada�s a pathological liar and entitled diva, Isaiah is just a brat, as is Frank (add in a temper for good measure). The wildcard is ADHD head case Derek. He�s just so young and unfocused, I don�t even know if he realizes he�s at this wilderness camp. I don�t know what to make of him yet.

Of course there are two kids on the cusp of recovery. Lauren seems smarter than she�s let on and slowly has been dropping her touch trailer park exterior and finally beginning to deal with her father�s death. If her resentment and anger weren�t so strong, she�d have been going home as well. She handled the news of spending Christmas at Sagewalk in a very mature way. She understood why she needed to be there and was willing to continue with her therapy for a chance at a better life. The other hopeful is Shawn the Bill and Ted stoner. He too was mature about his lengthened stay at Sagewalk, confiding in his therapist that he trusts her. A huge step for a kid that was so resistant in the beginning. With luck the finale next week will bring some insight into the progress these kids have made and the steps to recovery they�ve pursued post Sagewalk.

Kathy Griffin... D-List 8.17.05

Okay, is KGriff really telling me that noone is buying her DVD? She had a signing at Suncoast Video in Manhattan and only sold 10 DVD�s. What? All the queers in NYC and only a handful show up? The gays love Kathy and she loves the gays, where�s the support? Then she has a signing at Virgin in LA and only sells 14? Are people on crack? It�s Kathy F�ing Griffin, the funniest woman on the planet folks. Buy thee a DVD! I�m going to. How on earth is it possible that so few people showed? It honestly amazes me � is there no promotion? Regardless, I love watching her D-List antics, and the reality of being so low on the celebrity totem pole that you force your parents to buy 4 DVD�s.

Kathy�s husband Matt is my new favorite person. He is the most endearing and supportive spouse ever featured on reality television. He truly, madly, deeply believes in her and loves who she is � faults and all. It�s quite beautiful to watch because I am sure at times she is a bear to contend with. I love that he�s now like a mini-celebrity because of her.

Most brilliant moment of the night? Watching Kathy�s court room sketch artist reenactment of her stint on The View because The View refused her the rights to show her own segment! The ripping apart of Star Jones was inspired. It was even funnier when I remembered that the two of them were tag-teaming the E! coverage of the Oscars and Golden Globes. You know Kathy loved every second of it while Star Jones was probably bitching every time she had to throw it to Kathy. Fat pig� I despise Star Jones. DESPISE.

Kathy Griffin, My Life on the D-List

Honestly, if Kathy Griffin was sitting right here next to me its quite possible I�d be all moon eyes over her. Y�all know I love me some KGriff and watching her some-might-say mundane reality show is like heaven to me. I could honestly sit and watch her go for days on end. Have her walk the dogs, I�d find it brilliant and flawless. Her on the toilet withtout makeup, genius, give me more. I don�t know what she holds over my otherwise sensible head but this woman is just liquid comedy, I love her and need her in my life. I so want to be one of her �gays.�

Big Brother 6 8.16.05

These �friendship� bitches are driving me batty I tell ya. Damn that little hoochie stripper Jennifer and her evil scheming ways. Of course the smart thing to do strategy wise was put Kaysar up instead of James, but that doesn�t mean your fat ass had to you troll!

Oh it was infuriating. I try not to get all worked up but come on here. James is clearly an emotionally disturbed and possibly abusive person that will go one step further than crazy any minute now. If Prozac wasn�t his friend, Mr. Pointy the Knife would be because his ass is not right. I love how he tries to talk like money isn�t his driving force in this game. I love how he now concedes that Sarah is like the smartest person he knows and that he loves her. If he loved her so much shouldn�t he have used the POV last week to save her instead of himself? He�s such a liar it�s almost comical to watch. James, the crazy pills have called, line one.

I hope KayKay CanCan come up with something before tomorrow nights eviction. Can Glitter McChen not give out a surprise immunity or something? Where�s Probst with that idol necklace when you need him?

Teen Choice Awards 2005

So, apparently they tell the winners they�ve won ahead of time because they have odd groups of people sitting together like Rachel Bilson was sitting near Chad Michael Murray when they won best �Hotties� but earlier she was sitting next to costar and loverboy Adam Brody along with Mischa Barton. So confused.

I only wanted to see Degrassi win for Best Summer Series but couldn�t tolerate the show long enough. I was pissed too because I know that Stacy Farber was there to accept the award. I wonder if they even televised it? So many things were lumped together and not shown that it was really bothersome to watch. Case in point: Rachael McAdams/Ryan Gosling and The Notebook won like 13 awards or something all together yet they were only shown once. Hello they won almost every award there was and you give them the same amount of time as the Pussycat Dolls?

And a lifetime achievement award to Gwen Stefani? I changed the channel. WHERE�S MY DEGRASSI YOU ASSES?

Starved/...Philadelphia

I missed the first episode of both Starved and Philadelphia, but heard great things. I enjoy un-PC but can tell when shows are just pushing it to push it. Starved actually came across as a very funny dark comedy that actually has heart at its center. Sure, the excessive colonics and S&M fantasies were funny but essentially, these four characters have horribly depressing realities.

She has two daddies, one that is so verbally abusive and domineering he obviously caused her eating disorders and personal identity issues. Eric Schaeffer�s the most one dimensional of them all as he stoops low enough to start dating the colonics administrator and resorts back to his chocolate cake addiction. The black guy works out non-stop at his apartment and eats for two (place settings and all) each night by himself. The fat guy is leaving his wife in the early mornings to an S&M center to experience the football game without interruptions and to be served as a king by the mistress. Each character has a horribly lonely and sad existence outside of their funny food addictive personalities and addiction meetings. It�s a surprisingly deep show.

On the contrary, Philadelphia was surprisingly shallow and cheap in its humor. Sure I laughed when the meaning of episode title was revealed (�Charlie Wants an Abortion�). The payoff was great � Charlie�s a 30 something slacker who finds out he may have fathered a child 11 years prior and baby sits for a day. That makes the title funny folks� But alas, standing next to the intelligence of Starved, Philadelphia just doesn�t hold up. Though I will probably come back for more.

The Comeback - Eps. 9/10

I finally was able to catch up on the last two episodes of The Comeback and haven�t laughed harder at Valerie�s antics. Ep. 9, �Valerie Hangs With The Cool Kids� tops �The Littlest Assistant� episode with laughs and one liners. As the network re-tools �Room and Bored� the original five cast mates unite against the addition of a comedy duo whose whole shtick is racial slander.

Everything about this episode was brilliant. Valerie was much more open with her emotions and you could see the fear on her face as Tom and Paulie G. announce the changes to the show. Her veteran status finally came in handy as the whole cast came to her for advice and she finally gave a straight answer about how harsh Hollywood can be. Francesca got a new best friend, Kalla who not only is rich and obnoxious but apparently idolizes Paris Hilton because at age 12 she�s already smoking, drinking, and begging Valerie to �hook her up� with Chris. There were so many Valerie one-liners that were just dead on as she tried to keep everyone and everything in her life under control. If they submit the show or Lisa Kudrow for an Emmy, it should be based on this episode because when I get home tonight, I plan on watching it again � it was that funny.

Episode 10 was no where near as hysterical, but as a stand alone episode pretty darn enjoyable. �Valerie Gets a Magazine Cover� followed the has-been on a journey for publicity to promote her new show, �The Comeback.� From trying to get Juna�s PR woman to hiring that live wire of a gay (�I�ve gotta get me a gay Mickey�) she rolled with the punches until the punches started to hurt (at her BE YOGA magazine photo shoot). The image of Mickey in that yoga get up was priceless as was Mark taking a header off of Valerie�s still in motion treadmill. This show is finally coming into its element and I would hate to see HBO pull the plug after just this one season.

Big Brother 6 8.13.05

I love me some KayKay but there is a part of me that is worried he may actually be playing this game toooooooooooo hard. No? He just is so serious and committed to eliminating James that he�s almost Czarish.

Fine he wanted HOH because he personally wanted the gratification of removing James from the house but the anger he showed and the spite reared when Jennifer went back on her word was almost frightening. I think he was just pissed that he actually made a deal with the other side and that he should have stuck it out for HOH in the end because Jennifer quickly turned on her word and nominated two of Kaysar�s allies. Simmer Kaysar � this is your chance to win over Maggie and some of the other �friends� by not being the target for a week. Ride it out kid.

After the hysterical Chocolate PeePee incident and the �oh lord I�d kill him� drunken incident in the greenhouse Beau both won and then lost my interest in this game. He was too funny with his over the top girly scream within the glass shower as the cavalcade of onlookers caught sight of his man girth. But as he was eliminated from the HOH competition and continued to get obliterated, its quite possible that if I was in that competition I would have been striking deals with everyone to get 2 others to quit ensuring he left that greenhouse sooner than later. My word he was one drunk boy. Ivette put it best: �Good thing you�re so drunk because the only way I�m walking out is pissed!�

One by one they all fell, April was cracking me up with her �I swear I didn�t do it on purpose� okay so I did it on purpose!� and FINALLY saw some sort of �character� development from Jennifer. When she began crying in the greenhouse and then winked into the BB camera, I almost died laughing, she has officially stepped up her game. The little mouse is now a rat and I love it! Should be a fun week considering right now it�s hard to tell if the �back-dooring� of James will actually work or not. Let�s hope for her sake, that it does� KayKay might kill her otherwise. Is there a chance that she�s trying to backdoor Kaysar? That bitch.

Big Brother 6 8.9.05

I know it�s been a long time since my last BB6 update, but I�ve been busy, television is not my number one prior� okay even that was hard to type without laughing. Regardless of priorities, I�ve been watching religiously and cannot get enough of this season!

Since Kaysar�s untimely eviction I�ve been worried that the game would somehow suffer and everyone would turn out to be best of friends, but this game keeps getting more wicked with every hour. Howie has let those boobies go to his head because when he nominated James and Sarah I was floored. Sure it was the right thing to do, but it was sad to already see Kaysar�s alliance go to pot.

The scheming began hard and fast as both James and Sarah tried to tell more lies than OJ on the witness stand. James did you or didn�t you swear on the Bible that you�d nominate Howie and Rachel? His response was simply and lyingly� I read the Bible in the workout room because it gives me strength before a competition. You lying sack of turds. God bless ya for your devious ways brother, too bad your girl there doesn�t have the brains or the balls to follow suit. My favorite moment of the night? When a bewildered Sarah asks James �Did you swear on the Bible?� she was blown away at the depths he�ll go to avoid eviction and the secrets he holds from her (in this, the summer of secrets). I love watching the demise of their feeble relationship on national television. What fun.

Round two began when Ivette and Chain Smoker April began getting on each others nerves. April actually gained some points in my eyes because she had the balls to start lobbying against her fellow �friendship� teammate knowing that Ivette too has been annoying all of the houseguests. I loved watching how quickly they turn in this game. From one night to the next its love or hate in that pressure cooker. I only hope that Howie actually nominated Ivette not because she somewhat volunteered but because she really is a dangerous player in the game. She and James do have a bond and we all know she�s crazy. How else do you explain her almost fatalistic love for Eric the Midget? A person she knew all of three weeks. Get over it dumbass. God I hope they send her packing!

And lastly, please vote for Kaysar to return to the BB6 house. I�ve done so about 45 times from different computers!

Entourage 8.7.05

Jeremy Piven once again proves his weight in [Ari] Gold! He is a master to watch each week and often brings a vulnerability and softness to his otherwise hardass wise cracking fa�ade. This week was the Bat Mitzvah of his daughter and he actually delivered an almost teary eyed speech about his family � it was really touching to see this human side to him. Of course, in typical Ari fashion it was quickly ruined by his anxiety over possibly losing Vince to a shockingly fat faced Malcolm McDowell. An odd casting note and work of fiction, having Melinda Clarke play herself but married to a fictional character, created one of the funniest moments of the week as she traded barbs with not only Ari but Ari�s wife. Julie Cooper may not be far from the truth there Melinda and I loves ya!

Can someone tell me how Mandy Moore scored this gig?

Situation: Comedy (Bravo)

This show really makes me nervous; it frightens me while also inspiring me to pursue the career I eventually want to have. I remember hearing about this show when it was green lit but then I forgot all about it and by the time I checked on its status, the submission deadline was like two days later� I was not going to make it at all.

So, now being able to track the progress of the two writing teams that were picked is great fun. It looks like a nightmare but an incredible opportunity � a shot that these average joe�s would never have if Bravo/NBC was not giving them this chance. Now if you were allowed to create a fifteen minute pilot for a television series you�ve created in your head wouldn�t you do whatever it takes to get it done? They want you to jump through fire, you jump. They want you to eat bulls balls while taking it up the ass, you do it because this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Right?

Not if you�re the team behind Steven�s Life, a comedy about an 11 year old kid that runs his life and school day like a corporation. The premise is incredibly fun, the ideas were all there but now that these two joe�s have come down to the wire with deadlines and criticism they�re just falling apart. They spent the whole second episode refusing to rewrite the pilot from single camera set ups to traditional multiple camera set ups until they received about 18,000 �No�s� not only from each and every Executive Producer but finally from the Network. It was ridiculous. Like Maxx (Exec. Prod.) told them, know when to pick and choose your battles boys, this was not one of them. They seemed to have learned their lesson, that was until episode three.

This week they decided to argue with the producers about their script notes. These two retards barely worked on getting the rough draft as polished and ready as possible and almost missed the deadline because as one of the idiots put it: �I refused t o dance around like a monkey�� Bitch, they say jump � you say how high. What don�t you get? You are a nobody, you are not running the show, they are! God their ungrateful and it makes me crazy. Sure I would argue things, but they�ve so far argued about every single step of the process and have tried to make unreasonable demands (single camera, casting in NYC for starters). They are cocky for no reason. Yes, they picked your script, that doesn�t mean it�s perfect or that you won�t have to change it in some way. Just fucking deal.

Meanwhile, as you can see this show has my blood pressure sky high so it must be good! I�m really enjoying it and really love the two producers Maxx and whats-his-name. Each week I also wonder how long before the two Exec. Producers Sean Hayes and Todd Milliner come out as more than �business partners�? You heard me.

Super 70s Revelation!

For some reason it came to me while wasting away the hours at work. Dawn, the groovy 70�s role model on MTV�s 70�s House was Rita The Drunk on Joe Schmo 2! No wonder I fucking love her.

Girls vs. Boys - Puerto Rico (The N)

It�s almost too heartbreaking and embarrassing to watch this season of GvB on The N and no not because I�m 31 watching a tween show so shut it! I love me The N. This season on GvB they went older, the kids are all 16 and 17 so it heightens the drama and the sexual tension as this group of 4 boys and 4 girls spend a month living and competing, unchaperoned, in a beach house in Puerto Rico. First of all, what Parent would allow that month long vacation of raging hormones?

The heartbreaking and embarrassing factor comes into play when we meet Cory, a 17 year old high school senior from Kentucky that has never been kissed nor has he ever had a girlfriend. His �idol� is Britney Spears and he�s got a flair for Abercrombie and Fitch � do I need to continue?

By night two the competition has begun and so have the sexual games. Each of the 8 are talking about who they think is a �hottie� and who they hope to �hook up� with. Every guy seems to want Kelly but they�ll settle for any of the girls. Truth or Dare becomes a make-out session and social diseases are sure to spread faster than poison oak in the cabin at the rate these teens are going� I�ve seen Degrassi, I�m in the know.

All the girls love Cory�s sweet southern charm and his naivety is just adorable. They can�t believe he�s so innocent and that he�s never had a girlfriend. All the guys think it�s kinda of odd but understand he�s a sheltered boy � all except Damien who within the first fifteen minutes utters: �I don�t know if he�s in the [air quotes] closet or not � which if he is [stumble stumble avoiding the gay word] it�s totally fine with me��

Yeah folks, Damien has already outed Cory and we are in for a summer of secrets, wait that�s Big Brother, we�re in for a summer of heartache and revelation as Cory tries to butch it up, fawning for these girls, and trying to convince himself and the audience that he really really wants to kiss and have one of these chicas as a girlfriend. It hurts to watch him be so excited for his first kiss and to talk about these girls because we all know it�s a cover up and in the end this kid is going to be ruined. Reality shows can be so cruel, I mean great!