So You Think You Can Dance



OH SWEET JESUS! I have never laughed so hard in my life as watching this clip over and over. What a retard! I just can't stop watching it. Thank The Devil For You Tube!

Update: I just watched it again. OH MY GOD it must have hurt so bad. I just can't stop watching it. Oh there he goes again! Is that his hat that falls off or his jaw and teeth spilling onto the stage? Oh god its too much.

Update 2: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH! Again there he goes. Seriously folks this is my new Romanian dancer clip - where that guy dances and spins and then nails that person in the head with his foot. Oh god, this is better!

Update 3: I just found the clip I was talking about! Oh I'm seriously going to hemmorage today! Maybe Chris Daughtry will come sing to me while it happens. YOU DON'T KNOW!

Fresh Meat Jerks Off Danny & Ev

So if you look back through the archives, you will no doubt see a posting from the pre-season of Real World Austin. In said posting (which I'm not linking to because it incriminates me) I may have mentioned that Danny was the hottest thing ever to grace the RW screen. That was until he opened his mouth, got his head crushed in, became a total DB, and later proposed to Mel in which he'd known for like all of 6 months. No real relationship can bloom under the reality television lens. Period.

The point is, Danny is gone! It didn't take long but it was well worth having him on the show just to see other teams join together in taking the Real World Austin couple out! In what only happens on the incestous world of Real World and Road Rules Challenges teams finally worked together out of spite and vindictivness! Its everything you want all reality shows to do but they can't because they don't know a person well enough or they feel bad... not on this shit. They will cut your throat for the money, they'll kidnap your children and punch your grandmother if it means getting their greedy no-job hands on some cash! Their worthless talents and endless greed is what keeps me watching these challenges. Well that and my bitches!

Coral got the one Fresh Meat contestant that seriously fits in with the group. I thoroughly enjoy this Evan kid! He and Coral will be great fun and are already the team to beat! And how did Coral not give a beat down when that girl touched her skin? I damn near died!

A toast to the cast of RW/RR Freshmeat for what I hope will be quite the season of drama!

McPheever Has a McBoyfriend!

Millions of lesbians across the country just jumped from their bamboo thatch roofs; okay so maybe lesbos weren't on the McPheever Wagon but someone must have been... John Mayer was! Per Extra TV:

She stole the hearts of millions of Americans with her beautiful voice and her gorgeous looks, but has one certain guy caught a special case of McFeever? "Extra" spotted a young man with Katharine's parents in the "Idol" audience. This was the same guy who gave her a big hug in a previous "Idol" homecoming clip.

So is this Katharine's special guy? Yes -- "It's my boyfriend," Katharine confirmed. "We've been keeping it on the DL. He's the one who brought me to my first audition." Meanwhile, Katharine revealed that Grammy winner John Mayer did once contact her for date. "He told me he had a crush," McPhee revealed. "And I said, ‘Thank you very much.'" It was the smooch seen around the world, but then the Ryan Seacrest-Teri Hatcher romance fizzled.

So is it true that Seacrest wanted out of the relationship? Yes -- Ryan told the New York Times that he blames his busy schedule and all the media madness for the sudden breakup. She's the Carolina cutie, and he was the season four heartthrob, but do Kellie Pickler and Constantine Morales share more than just a spot in "Idol" history together?

Apollo's Fat, That Person Dies? What the Frak!

Okay so I seem like the TVGuide whore today but damn if they don't get the best scoop! Ausiello once again has an exclusive interview that rocks my world.

Click here to read up on all the Season 3 spoilers you can possibly handle. Okay so they don't give away real spoilers, just ideas but it's so worth the read if you are a Battlestar fan!

Among the goodies...

Apollo battles weight and identity issues. Someone central to the shop bites it in episode 3. We'll get an insider view of the Cylon world as well as what happened in the year between finding New Caprica, settling, and Cylon occupation!

Also, the Caprica spin-off is still in planning stages. They are submitting to the network this week! Fingers crossed! Two Battlestar shows at once will be frakkin' orgasmic! My spine is already glowing!

Denny Lives!

Well sorta. TVGuide is reporting that Jeffrey Dean Morgan, the recently departed Denny from "Grey's Anatomy" will be starring in Shonda Rhimes' new series about female journalists for ABC. Of course this is just a pilot and we all know that these things are not set in stone but Shonda is hot hot hot right now so I can't imagine ABC turning her show down! Yeah, Denny lives after all! Izzie, take your resignation back, he's alive! Wait, maybe Izzie will be a lawyer and this is all spin off material! Even better!

*Also, have you heard that this weeks special edition of TVGuide will feature a dvd with scenes from all the summer shows and some sneak peeks at some other returning faves! Check it!

Weren't We Just Talking About The Miz?

So when MTV announced their "Fresh Meat" Challenge, a bunch of you wondered where The Miz was! Well, he has been found.
"Fear Factor" over on NBC is doing a Reality All Stars edition with teams of two this summer. From Team Real World we have Mike and Hoshelle. Dumb ass Johnny Fairplay and that gruff not a lesbian woman are from Survivor. Jonathan and Victoria will be representin' The Amazing Race I wonder if this will be the show where he finally beats her to death. And some other douches are playing as well. Here is a pic from JustJared. God he's good.

NBC Gets Even Lamer...

NBC, which has traditionally been the first network to unveil its fall programming to advertisers in the so-called May "upfronts," may give up the lead-off spot next year after seeing its rivals quickly target its most promising programs. Newsday noted today (Monday) that NBC Entertainment President Kevin Reilly made the unreported comment on Thursday, the day he announced numerous changes in the previously disclosed schedule, including shifting the network's much-anticipated new drama Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip to Monday from Thursday, where it would have faced not only CBS's CSI but also ABC's Grey's Anatomy, both established hits. Reporting on the network's plans, Newsday commented, "Bowing out of the lead spot would represent a huge concession on the part of former market leader NBC and mark the end of an era for the network."

*Okay so this is the lamest cry wolf ever. It's like could you take more extreme measures so you aren't one up'd in 2007? Come on, get better programming and you won't need to worry about shuffling around you shitty schedule in the first place. All I'm sayin.

Ausiello's Lost Casting Scoop...

Ausiello has posted the following casting information for LOST Season 3. I don't fit any of those roles, curses!

Female, 30s, with leadership qualities.
Female, early 20s, very attractive
Male, Latino, early 20s, handsome, mysterious quality.

Serenity Now!

So the theatre I work for has had this booked for over a month now and we are a part of the Browncoats Nation. If you live in the Boston area head on over to The Coolidge on June 23rd for a benefit screening of Joss Whedon's Serenity!

In honor of his birthday, theatres around the country are screening the film about Capt. Mal and Co. with proceeds going to Equality Now (Whedon's charity of choice). The only reason I bring it up now (as I was waiting a week or two) is that I just read an article on it so publicity is beginning. For locations nearest you, head on over to: CantStopTheSerenity

Here is the Coolidge blurb on our screening:

Joss Whedon's Serenity
Serenity Now/Equality Now benefit screening $8.50 all seats Fri Jun 23

June 23 is the birthday of Joss Whedon, the creator of the cult classic television show Buffy the Vampire Slayer (which you know we love at the Coolidge), and Firefly, the sci-fi western television show (unceremoniously canceled by Fox) that defied the odds and jumped to the big screen in SERENITY. Not only is it one of the best space adventures ever filmed with an amazing ensemble cast, but director Joss Whedon is also an incredibly nice guy. How nice? He's arranging these special screenings of SERENITY across the country on this day so that the profits go to his favorite charity, Equality Now, which protects and promotes the human rights of women around the world. Not only is this special screening a benefit for charity, but it's a benefit for the viewer as well - another chance to see this modern-day classic on the giant screen!

*I know that as of this past weekend, our screening was already close to being sold out - so get tickets early!

Lost Season 2 Finale

“Ms. Whidmore, it’s us… I think we found it!”

What the hell just happened? Some arctic exploration team who wastes their days drinking and playing games is monitoring electromagnetic anomalies for Penelope Whidmore and this is the second time they’ve witnessed these anomalies! Too bad they missed the last one (presumably the first “System Failure” we witnessed earlier this episode). Is Mr. Whidmore (Caleb Nichol from “The OC”) the “him” in question? Is Mr. Whidmore part of the Dharma Initiative? Is Penny involved or just searching for Desmond Hume? I have questions, many many questions! I’m frustrated damnit!

Good frustration people, like when you can’t climb all the way to the top of the rope in gym class but you don’t mind because that burning sensation in your groin is better than the physical accomplishment or the certificate the President may send you at the end of the school year… that kind of frustration and annoyance.

I absolutely was blown away by the finale. It was a 2 hour thrill ride with so much information I feel like I need a lobotomy so I can just start from scratch – my brain is in overload with Losties, Tailies, Desmond, The Others, etc.

Desmond Hume’s flashbacks revealed a ton of information about Her Majesty’s Army and his dishonorable discharge and subsequent Prison release (which we don’t quite know all about yet – what did he do?)

- Our Departed Libby (the boat he was racing around the world on was given to Desmond by Libby. It was her husband’s boat but then he died – I assume this is part of why she went crazy)

- The Whidmore’s (Caleb-Because really can you think of anything else and Penny. Penny was Des’ love and Caleb tried to pay Des off to keep him away from her. He didn’t take the money so look where he ended up.)

- How he got to the island (on Elizabeth which sailed from Newport Beach, CA while on his “race” around the world which just happened to be sponsored by Caleb Nichol-Whidmore.)

- Who Kelvin was (Kelvin rescued Desmond as he washed ashore on the island. Kelvin is also the military guy that we saw earlier this year who forced Sayid to torture his superior and reminded him he’ll do it again. He also then is either equal to or superior to Kate’s dad.)

- Where the boat came from (see above Libby reference.)

- How the glow in the dark detergent map was created (Kelvin continued working on the map of the hatches after his first partner in the hatch, Rosinski, blew his brains out.)

- Why they need to input the numbers and what happens when you don’t press the button (the electromagnetic current gets so strong that if you don’t push the button every 108 minutes, that super scary System Failure occurs – the button releases the pressure somehow and allows for the thing to build up again only to be pushed in another 108 minutes)

- Why the plane crashed (two words folks… “SYSTEM FAILURE”)

- And finally what that fail safe does (a big bang like violet light and super sonic noise encompass the island and blows the quarantine hatch clear to the other side of the island almost impaling Claire)!


Let’s talk about Kelvin Inman and “Him” for a second? After he shows up in a yellow biohazard suit, drags Desmond through the jungle and into the Swan Hatch, Desmond awakes and Kelvin asks “Are you Him?” then he asks him the riddle “What did one snowman say to the other?” Desmond doesn’t know the answer. Um, but minutes prior we learned that Locke not only knows the riddle but the answer. I guess this was brought up in the second episode this season when Locke and Desmond were in the hatch. Does this mean that Locke may have a tie to whomever this “Him” is? Is Locke “Him”?

“Him” – Right now we are to assume that Caleb Nichol-Whidmore is the “Him” in question. Prior to the finale I pretty much assumed that Henry Gale was “Him” though he referred to “him” before so maybe not. I will say that they didn’t necessarily disprove that theory last night – he was the final Other to show up and they all seem to answer to him so could he be the “Him”?

Is Ms. Bea Klugh “Him”? She wields a lot of power in that group. I guess we continue to hold on the “Him” issue. BTW, “Thanks for telling them my name Bea!” was such a great line. Tom aka. Zeke aka Mr. Friendly really is at the low end of that totem isn’t he? He almost seems afraid of Henry Gale. Henry asked why he didn’t have his beard on and he just kinda sheepishly shrugged his shoulders and said “I think they already know” but there was this little kid fear quality to him. It was just an interesting dynamic.

I cannot believe that The Others gave up Walt in the end. I think they’re scared as shit of him so they just want him gone. Either that or they are sending stupid Michael and Sketchville Walt to a worse fate than death… Coordinates 325.

Michael: “Who are you people?”
Henry Gale: “We’re the good guys…”

I soooooo wanted that boat to just explode because you all know I cannot stand Michael and think he ruins the integrity of the show.

Now how incredible was the scene where Jack forced Michael to confess that he was selling Jack, Sawyer, Kate and Hurley down the river? And even better that Michael had to admit he freed Henry Gale, killed Ana Lucia and Libby! Jack’s hot when he’s sweaty and pissed off! Whew! Kate was stunned and Sawyer surprisingly looked really hurt and crushed that he killed Ana. Hurley though, I expected him to just lunge at Michael! Amazing scene! Actually each of their jungle scenes were incredible. Them finding the pneumatic tube landfill! All of them being darted and going into convulsions while Jack realizes Michael once again set them up! WOW! And finally with The Others on the PALA FERRY Pier (interesting – a named ferry stop on that island of nothingness).

What do you think the look Jack and Kate gave each other meant before they were hooded for the last time? Sawyer was obviously not in on whatever it was the two of them were getting at. I think that getting captured by The Others was their plan all along. Once Jack knew they were being set up, he wanted to play this out. It’s an interesting thought and could lead to quite the shift next season if The Others took them because they were the strongest and had the most to offer – a peace offering of sorts on the two tribes. Or are Jack and Kate hatching an escape plan? Until Fall we wait.

Time for a quote:
Hurley: “Did that bird just say my name?”
Sawyer: “Yeah, it did, right before it crapped gold!”

God I love Sawyer! And wait, what’s with the pterodactyl thing swooping at them? I replayed that a couple times because even though I think its just a squeal it kinda does sound like it says Hurley!

And um, that jungle whispered “Elizabeth” once or twice! Last time we heard those whispers was when Walt appeared to Shannon and Cindy disappeared from the tailies. What the hell is that all about? Poor Libby. She looked like a cancer patient with that dirty blonde wig and now she’s dead and the jungle whispers her name. That’s normal.

Also normal, the Big 4 Toed Roman Statue!

Finally, can we talk about how frakking amazing SYSTEM FAILURE is? It’s like the end of the world but you’re excited amazing! Both times we witnessed the failure in the finale I was shitting my pants. It was so tense and scary with all the grumbling, ground shaking, metal flying, and hieroglyphics that I was on the edge of my seat!

Why didn’t Desmond tell Locke earlier that something actually does happen when you don’t punch in the numbers? That’s kind of a big scary oversight! Especially when Desmond realizes that the System Failure on 9.22.04 may have been what ripped Oceanic Flight 815 in half. Just a thought!

I enjoyed that Locke was willing to go through with the whole thing in order to understand where he stood with his own faith and destiny. He was willing to let it all go to finally understand the internal conflict that is John Locke… Boxman!

I just loved the episode and it got me geared up for another season - it did its job! I cannot wait until Fall!

Taylor Hicks Won American Idol Season 5

But the shocker of the night was that Fox pulled off an enjoyable two hour extravaganza! It was actually very entertaining and extremely watchable. In previous years the two hours has been throwaway for the last ten minutes, this season they pulled out all the stops!

Celebrities galore were in the audience and onstage celebrities galore sold their souls in the name of America's biggest television show - noone was above whoring themselves for 200 million viewers worldwide.

Carrie Underwood opened the show with the "angelic" Idol finalists all in white. Funny enough, white is not Mandisa's color. Wow, I thought some of the pixels in my flatscreen went awry and blew out but that was her hideously large and bedazzled shirt. Coincidentally, this same scene and song alos opened the second half of the two hour finale. Then suddenly a harsh jumpcut and Carrie Underwood is looking surprisingly stunning singing live. Some song I wouldn't know. If I was her, I'd be pissed - alls I'm sayin'...

Who did we have in soul sellers?

• Al Jarreau who I'm pretty sure Randy would say was "pitchy dude".
• Live with Chris Daughtry was incredible - just to think they were once the biggest thing ever and then they get too religious and drop off the map only to be brought back as Chris' favorite band - wham into the spotlight again. Nice.
• Wolfgang Puck and Kellie Pickler had me rollin'.
• Wolfgang (kisses Pickle's cheek): "The perfect appetizer..."
• Pickle: "And it's not fattening either!"
• Rollin'! Give that girl a sitcom already.
• Next up was Meatloaf with Kat. Seriously, she drowned him out so badly and um, could you find another album name already? It's "Bat Out of Hell volume 91."
  
• Then came Ms. Mary J. Blige! You don't fuck with Mary J. - she ran circles around that Smooshed Face Lion - he couldn't keep up with Mary J. if he tried. She was amazing, chaotic, frantic, and then off the stage! She walked right off when she was done leaving Elliott in the middle wondering what just happened. She ruled that show!
• Toni Braxton, for real?
  
• I don't really count Burt Bacharach as a soul seller as he's been on every season and he is after all Burt!
  
• I'm sorry but did her Psychic Friends Network forcast this appearance? Ms. Dionne Warwick ladies and gentleman! Who BTW is looking amazing and sounding just as good for a living fossil. She's so old, lines in Seacrests face were jealous. But I'm sorry if you're going to pull out "That's What Friends Are For" you better have the backup of Elton and Co. Taylor and Kat just didn't cut it!
• Oh yeah, also Michael Sandecki was on hand. Who you ask? That would be the ugliest and gayest version of Clay Aiken this side of an Army Ranger's IM video screencap.
  
• Then there was Prince who had been rumored earlier in the season as being one of the performers. As much as I don't "get" Prince's music, the man is quite the performer. Again, a person that just walks off stage leaving Seacrest in a wake of lavender to fend for himself.
  

Keeping the show alive with momentum were The Golden Idol Awards. A cheesy stunt that was actually fun to watch. I loved when Crazy Dave won his award and that awards girl in the pink gown was deathly afraid of walking towards that flailing maniac. She dropped that $2 Golden Idol and ran for the hills. Don't blame ya honey. Do you think that's like the Golden Globes and pink dress running for the hills was actually Simon Fuller's relative? Pink Dress Running For the Hills - that's her Indian name. What? Ronetta Real and Ronetta Fake had me laughing my ass off. I love that Ronetta! I was really hoping that instead of the Maxim Twins, Ronetta would have been in Alabama with Taylor's 5000 closest friends. $5 suckysucky - she would have made a fortune. What about Seacrest saying Ronetta was "working"... no he didn't! That bitch was waiting all toothless, wig askew, and bruised at Seacrests doorstep when he got home. She'll kill that waifish bitch!

I even thought that most of the musical performances were enjoyable. The only really painful one was "I Had The Time of My Life." Jon and I kept waiting for Taylor to do the lift witk Kat! That would have been the saving grace of that horrid rendition though, don't you agree? They should have went for the lift. Baby and Johnny would have!

Wait, back to Michael Sandecki and Gayken. I was kinda digging Clay's hair. It sheltered that reptile like milky skin he's normally flashing. At first I couldn't tell if it was a set up or if that scary Michael guy knew Clay was coming out (so to speak) - but there was no way that Scary Michael's that good of an actor. He had no clue Gayken was going to siddle up to him. Even scarrier and sadder is that Scary Michael thought Idol flew him out to actually sing. Oh that poor bastard. Notice Gayken left a good distance between himself and his bizarro self. Clay ain't playing.



In the end, who really cared that Grey Hair McGuilicutty won? It was just a great ride this season with a really talented group of contestants. Each "group" sing of the guy and girls really showcased the variety and range they picked for Season 5. I can't imagine how they top a Chris or a Paris again but we'll wait and see come January 07.

Until then friends...

HOMO out!

*UPDATE: Wait, I completely forgot about Hasselhoff! Why was David Hasselhoff crying when Taylor Hicks won? It was damn near the funniest thing ever!

Is Paula Abdul Really Stuart from MadTV?

I found this youtube video of Paula Abdul's Jewelry Collection from QVC. Someone edited down some of her more "Paula" moments. Which include way eratic behavior like looking up a man's shirt, hand claps, a variation on two snaps and a twist around the world, blabbering uncontrollably, and some choice blunders. It's not amazing laugh riot funny, but parts of it are.

Some choice quotes:
"Good luck with your wishbone, you'll still need a backbone!"

"Who am I talking to?"

Seriously the clip they repeat the most is this Liza Minelli hand clap mixed with a Stuart from MadTV "Look What I Can Do" foot motion. It's friggin' genius this move!

"Lost's" Ethan and Bits of Artz Help Kids?

On Saturday, May 20, for the second year in a row, fans of ABC's castaway drama "Lost" gathered in the Los Angeles area to meet with producers and cast from the show and bid on "Lost"-related items to raise money for the Children's Defense Fund, a favorite charity of show co-creator J.J. Abrams.

The only cast members on hand were William Mapother, who appeared in seasons one and two as the now-deceased Ethan Rom, a member of the mysterious "Others" on the island where the doomed Oceanic Airlines Flight 815 crashed, and Daniel Roebuck, who played castaway Mr. Artz, a high-school teacher who met an unfortunate end late in season one while handling dynamite.

"I blewed up real good," jokes Roebuck, who spent the evening circulating among the fans, taking photos and handing out personalized, signed photos of himself as Artz. He also auctioned off a lunch with himself, which took place the next day.Asked why he answered the invitation, Roebuck says, "I have a lot of blessings in my life. I do exactly what I've wanted to do since I was a kid, and I recognize that I can sometimes serve. I have to give back.

Click here to continue reading the article >>

*They picked the right person for teaching Children Defense! Ethan kidnaps and kills poor saps stuck on a freaky ass island after their plane has been ripped apart in midair and they fall from the sky! Perfect choice! He's the scariest person to put with kids! Wow.

I hear that Charles Manson is opening a lukemia center next week and the week after that Andrea Yates is teaching a seminar on how to swim at The Y.

Another Show I Won't Be Watching...

ABC is turning to the creators of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy to help women. Scout Productions is producing How to Get the Guy, one of five reality series the network said Monday that it will roll out in the summer. Get the Guy, beginning June 12 at 10 p.m., follows the romantic lives of four young women looking for love in San Francisco. ABC has ordered six hourlong episodes.

"They are light, fun, engaging series that we believe viewers will make appointments with all summer long," said Andrea Wong, executive vice president of alternative programming, specials, and late-night at ABC Entertainment.

Guy was shot in San Francisco, and the hosts are "love coaches" Teresa Strasser and JD Roberto.

*Here's the reasons why.


I fucking hate Teresa Strasser! I hate the way she speaks, the way she looks, the way she thinks she's funny when really she looks like a lama. I hated the way she hosted "While You Were Out" back in the day, I hate the way she pretends to be quirky and witty on the umpteen zillion "I Love The..." on VH1 and E! and CMT and whatever other network she's whoring herself out to for money. Teresa Strasser is just plain hideous. Period.

American Idol Finale Tonight
2 Hours of Bloated Unsurprise

Seriously, lets just get it out there. America this is your next American Idol.


By the end of last night's finale I actually wanted to take McPhee and hug her, shelter her from the stampede of raving lunatics strapped into every seat of the Kodak Theatre. The whitest Soul Patrol I've ever seen in my life was out canvassing the final performance and pistol whipping anyone who dared cheer for my girl Kat! I felt horrible for her.

I'm trying to remember if I ever felt this bad for another finalist? If there was so much adoration thrown one way or the other? As much as I hate to think Taylor Hicks is really walking away tonight with the AI crown, I can't imagine any other outcome.

Kat's reception was big but each and everytime Taylor performed it took the judges 10 minutes to calm that place down. People are rootin' for their pops this year! The middle aged man is going to win and there is nothing we can do about it.

Don't get me wrong, its pretty funny to think someone like Taylor Hicks, who is almost retarded with his back bends, neck snaps, and "whoos" is the one millions of tween girls will be postering their walls with this summer. Taylor Hicks is the masturbatory pinup of desperate housewives and their daughters alike, never before has a man brought the country together. Taylor Hicks everybody!

“Alias” 5 Years and Some Big Red Balls

While I did find the end of “Alias” to be entertaining and somewhat satisfying I can’t help but feel let down by the potential of the 5 years on whole. I’d like to see a treatment for the series when the pilot was conceived. Was J.J. Abrams always planning on having Rimbaldi be such a huge part of the show or did it morph into that when he left as showrunner to create some other projects? Did “Alias” go awry and get so far off track that he could never bring it back to the show it was meant to be? I need to know!

Without the answers, I can only say that overall “Alias” was an amazing thrill ride. At times hokey and at times a tad bit pokey, Syd kicked ass from SD-6 to The Covenant all the way to Prophet 5. Along the way she kicked some major players as well: Anna Espinosa, Evil Francie, Lauren, Her Aunt, Her Mother, The Dentist, and Sark! Oh Sark, Sark, Sark… how I love thee Julian. What’s not to love? He had the best line of the whole finale:

Sark: “Does it have to be so filthy? If Rimbaldi can prophesize the future couldn’t he tell me not to wear $500 shoes?”

Sorry, I don’t know how to recap the finale or how to recap the series other than to say Jennifer Garner was amazing. She went from wimpy and mousey Hannah to this killer sexy assassin with quite the ease and grace. She’s limber that Garner! Benny Boy is one lucky duck! Her disguises were always a hoot, her action scenes always intense and vicious! She could pull out some tears like noone’s business and then kick your teeth out! I like that in a woman.

Jack provided some stiff comedic relief at times, he always provided some incredibly chilling moments. There was nothing scarier than a hurt and super devious Jack Bristow. Victor garber really brought this no frills approach to Jack Bristow always making it believable that he was absent but willing to make amends. His undying love and hate for Irina Derevko was always entertaining. A fist fight almost always led to a kiss and I just wish that in the end he could have finally witnessed her demise.

Irina, WOW! Now that is a woman you do not want to mess with. She’ll kill her sisters, her kids, her husband, basically anyone living in the metropolitan areas surrounding London and Washington! She doesn’t care. And she’ll do this with style and sophistication. Whether behind bars Hannibal Lecter style or on the verge of global destruction lounging in Armani, Irina was the epitome of cool under pressure and a diva! I loved her! Who else can die so beautifully? That final Irina shot was gorgeous!

Sloane was evil to the core and now he gets to rot an eternity in Rimbaldi’s tomb. He was always so deliciously devilish that when he actually had a tender moment (Emily’s tragic death) it was believable and gave you a moment’s pause. Arvin Sloane was a great enemy – no denying that!

Marshall! How great was Marshall for these last 5 years? I loved when he went from geek to well geek on assignment a few years back. Marshall went Chloe before Chloe was even around! Watching Marshall undercover was always hysterical and tense. But the hilarity ended last night and I actually got some tears in my eyes when Marshall was being tortured and finally stood up to Sloane! It was his finest hour!

There’s really nothing else to say without going into the “Alias” annals and getting way to nostalgic. I loved it for what it was. Even when it was bad, it was enjoyable. That’s worth something, right?

Lost's Ana Lucia Checks Back Into Cell Block H-awaii

"Lost" star Michelle Rodriguez is heading back to jail after being sentenced to serve 60 days in prison for violating her probation. Rodriguez was arrested in December on suspicion of drunk driving in Honolulu, Hawaii. The arrest came six months after she pleaded no contest in Los Angeles to a hit and run, drink driving and driving with a suspended license and was placed on probation. The Hawaiian incident violated her California probation, according to website TMZ.com. Judge Rex Heeseman sentenced Rodriguez to serve 60 days in jail in a Los Angeles courtroom on Monday and read off a list of other sanctions. Rodriguez was also ordered to complete a 30-day alcohol rehabilitation program and perform 30 days of community service, including participating in programs run by Mothers Against Drunk Driving. The star also had her probation extended for three more years to June 2009. Rodriguez and her attorneys left without making a comment and the judge did not disclose the starting date of her new jail sentence. The actress pleaded guilty in April to the Hawaiian drink driving charge and chose five days jail time over performing 240 hours of community service.

Xander and Cordy Back Together Again!

According to Zap2it, ABC Family is plopping these two once upon a time lovers back together for a fun filled romp of demon slaying and by slaying demons I mean killing kids... its ABC Family, what do you expect? Isn't that what the channels all about? Killing families and torturing kids? No? Wait, are they not playing Xander and Cordelia? Christ...


LOS ANGELES -- ABC Family will host a mini-"Buffy the Vampire Slayer" reunion this fall as two of the show's former stars, Nicholas Brendon and Charisma Carpenter, reteam for a movie at the cable channel.

Carpenter and Brendon will co-star in "Relative Chaos," a comedy about simmering sibling rivalries that come back to the surface at a family reunion. The movie, which also stars Christopher Gorham ("Out of Practice") and NFL great Terry Bradshaw, begins filming later this month and is scheduled for a September premiere.

Gorham -- who guest-starred on a 1998 "Buffy" episode -- plays Dil Gilbert, who's dreading a trip home to see his family. His dad (Bradshaw) every year puts his kids -- Dil, Gil (Brendon) and Lil (Jenn Robertson) through a series of competitions known as the Gilbert Cup, and Dil has never won.

He may, however, have a secret weapon in his new girlfriend, Katherine (Carpenter). She's a type-A business consultant who vows to help Dil win the Cup by any means necessary. Mayko Nguyen ("Tilt") and Fiona Reid ("My Big Fat Greek Wedding") round out the cast.

Matt Goldman wrote "Relative Chaos," and Steven Robman ("I Do, They Don't," "Gilmore Girls") will direct.Brendon and Carpenter co-starred on "Buffy" for the show's first three seasons, before she joined its spinoff, "Angel."

Brendon was a regular on FOX's short-lived "Kitchen Confidential" this season, while Carpenter had a recurring part on "Veronica Mars."Both have also starred in ABC Family movies in the past -- Carpenter in 2003's "See Jane Date" and Brendon in 2004's "Celeste in the City."

Idol's Third Place Loser Speaks Out!

No, he's not talking about his teeth or the football shaped head he has, he's dishing Idol with TVGuide. Head on over for the full interview but if you can't stomach another TVGO exclusive, pretend you heard it here first. I won't tell.

On Paula's crazy ass love of Elliott:

"I just think she loves my voice and enjoys my singing, and I think
she likes me as a person, and the feelings are mutual. We've had some good talks
after the show and on stage, and she has a big heart, like I do. I think that's
probably why she identifies with me. And we're both Jewish, too, and you know
how us Jews kind of have a bond at birth."

Who knew they were Jews?

On what its been like to experience this with his sick Mother (who I'm not gonna lie got me all teary eyed last week - not paula teary, just teary):

"[My mother] has been living all this vicariously through me, sharing it with
me, so it's been great to see her like a kid again. She's been very sick and
ill, but she's back to her old self, a way she hasn't been in about three years.
It's been an incredible year, and it's only going to get better from here!"

Kristen Bell Named Worlds Sexiest Vegetarian

Well besides myself, she really is! Prince was the male version! I don't know how I didn't make that list... damn all of you for not voting and curses to PETA for overlooking my write in ballot!

May 22, 2006

NEW YORK --Prince has been voted the "world's sexiest vegetarian" in PETA's annual online poll, the animal rights group announced Monday.

A strict vegan, Prince, 47, wrote in the liner notes of his 1999 album, "Rave Un2 the Joy Fantastic," about the ills behind wool production. He closed the disc with a quote from Mohandas Gandhi: "2 my mind, the life of a lamb is no less precious than that of a human being." Prince released his latest album, "3121," in March.

He shares the honor with Kristen Bell, the 25-year-old star of "Veronica Mars," which is being carried over from UPN to the new CW network this fall.

Bell, in a statement, said of her vegetarianism: "I had a hard time disassociating the animals I cuddled with -- dogs and cats, for example -- from the animals on my plate, and I never really cared for the taste of meat. I always loved my brussels sprouts!"

Runners-up in the poll, which PETA said Monday received over 40,000 votes, include Natalie Portman, Nicollette Sheridan and Joaquin Phoenix.

Last year, Coldplay singer Chris Martin and "American Idol" Carrie Underwood were picked as the two "sexiest vegetarians." Other previous winners include Andre 3000, Tobey Maguire, Josh Hartnett, Alicia Silverstone, Lauren Bush and Shania Twain.

Real World/Road Rules Challenge: Freshmeat!









I don't know about the 12 pieces of Freshmeat playing this season but I'm all about the return of my bitches!

Tina
Coral
Katie
Tonya
Shane

With these 5 back in the mix, it will be one amazing estrogen ride that these 12 unsuspecting newbies I'm sure are not ready for! Head on over to MTV and watch the trailer for it, it's epic and looks 100% better than say the trailer for Mi:III. There are going to be some nasty ass fights, some amazing name calling, some snarky disses, and I'm sure some hair pulling - and that's just from the men!

The ladies that are representing the bitch squad will tear that little blonde thing Melinda apart! I cannot wait! I love me some Tina but I'm almost as excited that Coral and those two children smuggled in her chest have come out of retirement! Why couldn't Veronica have signed on? God to see Katie and Veronica forced to work together to beat the newbies? Heaven in a fishbowl. You know Katie would and probably will anyway sabotage this whole thing!

Cannot wait! The casting special airs tonight and the challenge starts next Monday night in the 10 Spot.

The 2005 - 2006 Television Season
From “You’re Dead to Me” all the way to "Oh Hello" and “Welcome Back”

Last fall I did a casualty checklist on all the shows I was watching, dropping, or thinking of kicking to the curb in the near future. Now that the 2005 - 2006 television season is wrapping up I thought I'd check back in on where we stand and how some of our favorites shows fared.


Early Casualties:
“Invasion” – This supernatural thriller had a great series premiere and an even better timeslot, Wednesday’s at 10pm after “Lost” – what’s not to love right? That’s what I thought as I watched the pilot. There was some incredibly creepy moments, that Dave guy was a blast, and Eddie Cibrian was going to be wet and/or shirtless all season, sounds like a blockbuster to me! I guess if you chose to stick it out, there were some great moments but by the end of episode 3 I was off like Dorothy in a twister. I guess my instincts were right, “Invasion” as you know didn’t make it to Season 2.

“Alias” – This was one of the hardest choices I had to make in creating a television viewing schedule back in the Fall. I had been a diehard “Alias” fan for 4 years. I basically came when I saw the series premiere back in 2001 and though it was rough at points, “Alias” was always a delicious thrill ride. But, when ABC decided to jam-pack Thursday night even more than it already was, I had to make a choice! I knew this was “Alias’” last season so there was no reason to watch just to give it ratings giving me a sense of accomplishment in making or breaking a show. “Everwood” needed my attention and as it was on against “Alias” and “The OC” many things gave way to a sleepy hollow in Colorado.

“The O.C.” – Again, diehard fan for Seasons 1 and 2. Devout Seth Lover. Devout Summer Lover. Devout Julie Cooper-Nichol-Cooper Lover. But, See Above for Thursday night dilemma.
Then there were the shows that I watched for a good part of the season or at least gave a good try with. These are the shows that I eventually could take or leave and apparently I chose to leave.


The Just Had To Casualties:
“Desperate Housewives” – Wow was Season 2 not the biggest bag of bullshit being produced? I absolutely loved Season 1 of “Desperate” and was really looking forward to another soapy, snappy, sarcastic season too bad we were left with a steaming load of trite acting, tired storylines, clichéd conflicts, and a mystery they paid no attention to which gave us no reason to tune in after midseason. Sure, Bree is still one of the best characters on television but she’s not enough of a reason to watch! Somehow the producers think Teri Hatcher is relatable instead of a plastic surgery horse faced wallpaper actress. Eva Longoria, seriously? The worst actress in showbiz. Her character should have been what Edie was, a side player who gave endless comic relief. Instead they try to humanize her (which I don’t buy for a second) and force character beats that just aren’t there. They Jennifer Anison’d Gabby – they changed the character because the actress became celebrity. I hate when shows do that and its an instant BAN in my book.

“Prison Break” – Wentworth Miller covered in tattoos and in prison, all sorts of hot right there. I was willing and able to overlook the longshot plot of this show. The plausibility of “Prison Break” is so far removed from reality that you can actually just sit back and enjoy the ride knowing you have to suspend major disbelief. I’m fine with that. But to tell you the truth, the acting just wasn’t there to keep me coming back. Robin Tunney, wow – someone confiscate her SAG card. Lincoln Burroughs, could your head be any bigger? It’s like my screen in fisheye mode or something – I just can’t look at it. And even though I loved him as the only Manazon to ever grace the Novac’s porcelain halls – he just isn’t up to par. I have to guess it’s the writing? Either that or he really is just a pretty face – empty but pretty. After its winter hiatus, I checked back into Falls River but quickly used my get our of jail free card. I didn’t care if they broke out or not anymore.
Then there are the shows that I don’t mind watching, I just never do. Either they’ve moved them around so much that I lost track or I’m just too damned busy to keep up with.


The “Oh Look, That Shows Still On” Kinda Casualties:
“The Amazing Race” – I could have sold children on the black market to watch this show last year and every year before it but after the mess that was “The Family Edition” the series lost momentum. As you know I tuned in for a while when they returned to their tried and true format of teams of two racing across the globe in the best game show ever created but somewhere after the geeks were eliminated I stopped watching. Then CBS moved it to when? I don’t even know when it was on at the end of the season but they moved it and it was an even worse time for me so there was no jumping back in. I saw that the hippies won, good for them – maybe now they can buy some soap and a razor… With TAR returning in the Fall on Sunday nights, there is a big possibility I’ll come back to watch teams get Philiminated and to admire his bulge – but no promises.

“How I Met Your Mother” – Could a show suffer a “Dawson’s Creek” major character “who cares” more than “Mother”? Ted at first was this cute quirky awkward guy that I honestly wanted to root for. Then his goofy turned annoying, Robin was acclimated into the group, and that 4 camera setup continued not to mention that horrid laugh track. This is a show that would work better as a true ensemble done single camera style like “Arrested Development.” In the format its in now (typical sitcom with tin laugh track) the jokes fall stale, the energy is at times sucked from the show, and the charcters always seem at arms length. I don’t care enough about any of them to wonder who they end up with in the end. Alyson Hannigan is way underutilized as is Jason Segel. Barney is however one of televisions shining stars! Neil Patrick Harris couldn’t be better than when he’s “suited up” and meddling in each of their lives. Highlights: The recent Barney Hooks Ted Up With a Whore Who’s Not a Whore episode, The Slutty Pumpkin, and The Cockamouse – be free my friend… IT CAN FLY! This show I am still willing to give a chance come fall! I think it has amazing potential and hopefully they will have worked out their bugs come fall – too bad I’ll still not care who Ted ends up with… it’s Dawson all over again.

“Cold Case” – This is an amazing show and I’m glad its getting the recognition it deserves but the Sundays at 8pm timeslot always kills me. I don’t know what I’m doing or why I’m not consistently glued to Philly’s Biggest Nightmare of the Hair Lily Rushing but come fall I will try much harder as it leads in to my dear “Without a Trace!”


Somewhere in the course of the season I found my way back to a show or two as well as picked up a couple!

The “Picked Up Along The Way” Show:
“Battlestar Galactica” – After endless Ausiello talk, podcast romanticism, and Sci-Fi promos I gave in and rented the mini-series of “BSG” back in February. I’m happy to say that I was able to watch all of Season 1 and Season 2.0 before Season 2.1 came on and then finished! Whoever decided to rush out Season 2.0 on dvd while still in Season 2 is a genius. Ron Moore, I kiss you! I’m frakking hooked like a Caprica Junkie sleeping with a Cylon for a fix! I cannot wait until October for this Cylon Occupation to play out! And who knew I would have room for 2 Starbucks in my life?


The “Welcome Back From The Dead” Show:
“Alias” – who knew that after missing 12 episodes I would be intrigued enough with casting coups and spoiler alerts to get drawn back into Sydney Bristow’s tangled web of intrigue? First they cast Amy Acker who seriously needs to be cast in a hit show that’s not going off the air the season she joins. Then they announced that Michael Vartan would be back! Then Anna Espinosa! Then Will Tippin! Then Sark! How could I not come back? Though I’ve not written about it once, when ABC put “Alias” on iTunes last month I watch every episode of Season 5 and was caught up with Prophet 5 before Anna Espinosa kidnapped our pretty oh so pretty Will and eventually became SydPinosa! Though reports since September have not been so glowing, I really think this season of “Alias” has shown! We’ve been brought back to the fundamentals of “Alias” this season and they killed off Nadia, what more could we want? Here’s to hoping Danny is somehow involved in the finale! It’s been long enough in Syd’s world and in ours to not feel duped by Danny’s resurrection – we all know and want Sydney to be with Vaughn but wouldn’t it be amazing if the thing that launched the show also brought it to its end somehow?

CW Upfront Video Presentation
(not the one with Kristen Bell)

For No Good Reason...

So today my iPod seemed to start and end on a really odd note. While at work I really just like to hit the "shuffle songs" button and let it go. This was what came out. There are some TV references on there (Buffy, VM) but in general its just a random post and random songs. I love that the first song is from Xanadu and the last is a good ole boys song!

"Magic" Olivia Newton John
"Send Me, I'm Yours" Gene
"Jackpot Plus" Jawbox
"Grenade Jumper" Fall Out Boy
"Raining Next Door" Ringside
"Answering Bell" Ryan Adams
"Old Dogs Never Die" The Lawrence Arms
"Mandinka" Sinead O'Connor
"Believe In What You Want" Jimmy Eat World
"The Tourist" Radiohead
"Ocean Size" Jane's Addiction
"Hot!Hot!Hot!" The Cure
"But You Know Its True" Walking Concert
"Alcoholic" Starsailor
"So. Central Rain" R.E.M.
"Carnival" Jeremy Enigk
"P.S." James
"Time Is Ticking Out" The Cranberries
"Sight Unseen" Sensefield
"Martin Sheen or JFK" Yellowcard
"Will You Smile Again For Me?" ...And You Will Know Us By The Trail of the Dead
"Monty Got a Raw Deal" R.E.M.
"Forever, For Now" Harry Connick Jr.
"Rob Thomas Veronica Mars Teleconference" Attractive Nuisance Question
"Don't Go Away" Oasis
"Back to School" Harry and the Potters
"Devil In Jersey City" Coheed & Cambria
"Olympian" Gene
"She Walks on Me" Hole
"Betrayal" The Black Maria
"Hello" Babes in Toyland
"Out of Nothing" Embrace
"Irish Blood, English Heart" Morrissey
"Magnolia" Jai
"Only Got One" Frou Frou
"flight of the Hobo" Rocket From the Crypt
"Better Sense" Hot Water Music
"Dead Bodies" Air
"Goodnight Hollywood Blvd." Ryan Adams
"Change" Deftones
"Beauty Mark "Rufus Wainwright
"Half a Life" Love Spit Love
"Come Home (Screaming)" The Hurt Process
"Everybody Hurts" R.E.M.
"Where Do We Go From Here" Buffy The Vampire Slayer
"Brand New Colony" The Postal Service
"Promise" Matchbook Romance
"Understanding in a Car Crash" Thursday
"World In My Eyes" Depeche Mode
"My Blue Heaven" Taking Back Sunday
"I Knew You Were Waiting (For Me)" George Michael
"Inside By Side" Ashes
"Praying For Time" George Michael
"Okay I Believe You..." Brand New
"Close To Me" The Get Up Kids
"Zombie" The Cranberries
"I'll See You In My Dreams" Jimmy Durante
"Lullaby" Kill Creek
"Yield" Indigo Girls
"Wild Horses" The Sundays
"Kiss Me On The Bus" The Replacements
"Ten A.M." Snapcase
"Nimrods Son" The Pixies
"Headache" Liz Phair
"Love is a Battlefield" Pat Benetar
"Dirrty" Christina Aguilera
"Used to Love Him" Fiona Apple
"Behind My Back" Idle Hands
"Angel" Ashes
"Planet" Sugarcubes
"Problem Solving Skillz" Harry and the Potters
"Don't Think of Me" Dido
"A Favor House Atlantic" Coheed and Cambria
"52 Girls" B-52's
"Ancestors" Bjork
"Driftwood" Travis
"Drive Away" Gratitude
"Do It Again" Nada Surf
"Sweet Caroline" Neil Diamond

America's Next Top Slam Poet!


Jade is seriously the most deranged contestant to grace "Top Model" if not any reality show! She was so deluded and oblivious of her own being it was brilliance to watch! The things that would come out of her mouth week after week were priceless. I had to quickly share her final parting words as she was leaving the "Top Model" competition in 3rd place.

Her comments before the poem, cause she's like that:
"I have what it takes, its just that my look is in a different realm. People don't know how to handle it! This face will definitely be hard to forget. Jade will be hard to forget!"

And the poetry my black sistas:
"Left over lady
let alone the strongest to be subdued
If I only had the magic key that would unlock the realms to the pateau's of the highest me
Even though I've been badly bruised
living in a house to become a popular muse"
(finger snap, finger snap - latte is delivered)


Amazing! I just think back to what Joanie (second place) had to say about Jade earlier in the episode:
"Please send Jade home. Her personality smells like a dirty diaper."

Ain't that the truth Joanie, ain't it the truth.

The CW Rubs Salt In Our Wounds...

My blogger pal over at The TVAddict posted this picture and more info on how The CW's official website had Everwood returning for its "5th Season" and hailed it as "critically acclaimed". How dare they taunt us like this!
The war against Dawn Ostroff waged earlier this week may be back on! Baseball bat in hand folks! As Jack Shephard asked... "How long will it take to train an Army?"

*Update: an online petition has been started to help bring "Everwood" back as a mid-season replacement on The CW. We all know that this "Runaway" show isn't going to runaway with ratings, so get ta signin'!

Lost "Three Minutes" of the Worst Writing Ever...

As you know I am a huge fan of "Lost" I may not always write about it, I may not always agree with what they are doing on the show but basically I am still lost in "Lost." There are many things I can forgive on this show because I actually trust that they have a vision - but this week came a moment and a line that was so inexcusably horrible it deserves a Razzie.

It came with only a minute to spare, the sailboat was about to be spotted but before that, Hurley was giving his eulogy of Libby. I loved that he said "She was a psychologist... or a psychiatrist..." who can tell the diff big man? Who? It was funny and touching but then in the middle of his speech he turns around to Michael and says "I'm coming with you..." then spins his big fat head back around and continues his eulogy.

Seriously Damon and Carlton? That was so so cheesy and lame. Like any person would ever stop midsentence, turn to someone they hardly know who wants them to go to battle with a scary pack of theatre geeks armed with spears, guns, and a monster between them to find his son, not your, his and be like okay, I'll die for you? Hurley knew Libby for like 20 days, I'm not saying he didn't fall for her I'm just saying who would risk it?

And why oh why would they choose that moment in honoring the dead loved one to interrupt? It's not like he had another hour of sermon to go through, he said like 4 more words and was done - he could have waited 4 words before his fake bravado and honor decided to shine through.

I don't know, it bugged me. It was out of character and horribly placed. Period.

Also bugging me... still - Michael. I really just wish they would kill him already. We don't care! Does anyone care? Email me if you do, but I don't think anyone will. Unless Harold P. is reading this himself and takes offense to my comments. Harold, loved you in a wheelchair, trapped in a plexiglass cube and naked in the shower but on "Lost" I seriously despise your character, your acting, everything. I want your character Michael to just die already. You're so pointless. You were gone for like 10 episodes and no complaints here. No complaints on the island, half the folks forgot you even left on that pilgrimage of yours.

And another complaint - you did not need to be an Iraqi Soldier to see through Michael's lies. He's the worst liar ever! He's not said 2 words to Hurley since they crashed on that island and everyone's supposed to believe he wants Hurley to come along? He weighs as much as the island, he's not gonna be fast or sly in that jungle. He's gonna be slow, sweaty, and clomping around. I expected better of Jack, Kate, Sawyer, and Hugo. Thank god Sayid is there otherwise they'd all just trapse off into the wild willy nilly with a trigger happy bad acting thinly guised liar leading their way. All I'm sayin'...


As always with the bad came the good. My Favorite Moment of the Night? Locke just cuts off his splints and walks away. He just willed it so. He sat there until the island was ready for him to walk again and he did. I love John Locke! He's amazing.

Also amazing is Miss Cleo! "Hello I am Miss Cleo Darling!" Miss Clue's one sassy gal. She starts right in with the creepy Walt questions. How old was he when he began speaking? Has he ever had any illnesses? Has Walt ever appeared somewhere he wasn't supposed to be? Miss Cleo, I thought you were a psychic! Those tests you're making Walt take aren't working? Give him that Project Christmas test from "Alias" - see what he comes up with.

I also like that The Others go through all the trouble of setting up a fake camp for Michael to see and eventually lead them back to. I like that they think that far in advance because you know there is not a chance in hell they would really let someone see where they live.

And I don't know about you, but I'd be worrying about that Alex chick if I were Zeke. She's already freed Claire and now she's backing out on duties because she's trying to ask questions of the one they have in captivity? Oh hell no, kick that French woman's daughter to the curb - or the jungle equivalent of a curb.

I like that Eko remains so damn wierd and funny. Charlie asks what he's supposed to do now that Eko has decided his fate is to live in the hatch. Eko's response? "Get my things" He don't care. He sat there and talked with Michael knowing full well that Michael probably had something to do in killing Ana Lucia and Libby , washed a floor and went on with his day. He don't care!

A show of hands for all those that would like to see "the room" that Miss Cleo puts Walt in when he' bad? Hands? I pray its some torture room!

And lastly...

"Boat... Boat!"

American Idol Photo of the Season!

Thank you Paula Abdul for your snotty cry fest watching Elliott's return to Richmond, VA. It's amazing!

American Idol's Elliott Yamin Takes Third!

America's Next Top Model - Cycle 6

Danielle!

Scoop About GMMR Before GMMR Scoops Herself on GMMR...

I just got word that GiveMeMyRemote just ran into Kristen Bell, Veronica Mars herself in NYC (KB is in town for the CW upfronts and GMMR is there to stalk). If she was a certain someone that shall remain nameless she would have asked her if she remembered her giving her a piece of gum that one time. Remember Kristen? The gum? Remember? Yes, that me! You do remember.

*Update: GMMR scooped my scoop about GMMR before GMMR scooped herself on GMMR. Bitch and her fast fingers.

CBS Upfronts Make My Sunday

So just yesterday I was saying how "Without a Trace" would still be sitting pretty on Thursday night at 10 but that it would be an odd tone shift from just having watched "Grey's" over on ABC. Well, CBS cleared that up for me today!

"Without a Trace" is moving to "Grey's" old time slot on Sunday nights at 10pm. Also moving to Sunday is "The Amazing Race" which now gives me a whole CBS Sunday Night! The Amazing Cold Without a Trace Case!

American Idol's Diabetes Football Teeth, Gray Hair McGilacuty, and McPheever Go Three for Three

Elliott Yamin: "Oops I just backwashed into my Colostomy Bag"

My boss at work swears that Simon et al. sabotaged our elvish friend last night. Not only does she think they picked the worst songs to showcase his voice, she also thinks Simon's comments were directly geared at making sure Elliott went home tonight. I'm not so sure on the sabotaging but I completely agree with the last part.

Simon was very adament about who he wanted in the final two next week for the finale. After watching him repeatedly shake his head after Chris Daughtry was eliminated last week, Simon was taking no chances this week. He made sure to pump up Kat and Taylor big time! He made sure America knew who to vote for. And why not. Apparently most of American's voting are blind and partially deaf - otherwise we wouldn't have the "drunken elf" and some 40 year old virgin up there in the final three.

I guess Elliott should go home tonight. I mean, Elliott will be going home tonight - it's just that I'm still really bitter over Chris' ouster last week. *I know Jimmy, save it! So in my mind having a final two other than Kat and Chris is still almost unfathomable. And I think it's very possible that next Wednesday night we will be hearing...

America, you're next American Idol is...

Taylor Hicks: God I wish there was a speeding car coming for him in that background.

Taylor Hicks! I know, you just threw up a little bit in your mouth didn't you? My fingers buckled as I tried to type it. As much as I can't stand some Taylor Hicks - his Otis Redding was okay. I say okay because really there is no comparison to my namesake Duckie Dale doing "Try A Little Tenderness" in Pretty In Pink!

And you know what? As much as I want Kat to win this thing, there is a part of me that wants Huey Lewis to win! Last year I was praying that Scott Savol would bring home the gold because it would once and for all ruin this competition and shake it up enough that they were forced to rethink the judging come 2007. Can you imagine if he wins? It's a win for all the nearing middle aged men! The balance in the world would be off. Millions of teen girls will throw their bejeweled cell phones through their 13" Hello Kitty TV;s and denounce shopping - chaos will ensue and soon Zombies will roam the earth. But, I'm up for seeing how it plays out. Taylor will be "Taking it to the Streets" soon enough I'm sure. God, imagine.

Kat Mcphee: "Why Oh Why Can't I... Find Chris Daughtry?"

Now that leaves my poor Kit-Kat! I truly do think she's a great vocalist, and sure Paula, she does look stunning. I will be crushed to watch her dreams be smashed to pieces by a gray haired white man who's fan club is called "Soul Patrol" - she's just so darn sweet and I want her to win this! Her Mom and Dad are so nice looking and with that Dad crying each week, he could be the new spokesman for Visine. Kick Wilford Brimley to the curb, bring in Papa McPhee to sell Quaker Oats! It was nutritious for a young Shannen Dougherty, it'll be nutritious for you too America! Eat it! Wait...

OH MY GOD, what about Paula's top last night? Was she wearing one? The first 10 shots of her were medium shots that only got her hair, that skank face, and about 6" of cleavage. Half the time those sagging bags were so low and uncovered that I seriously thought she was topless. Someone needs to talk to her again - straight up - she's needs an intervention. This is a family show after all is it not? *Wait (update) how friggin' hysterical was it when Taylor brought Paula up to Courtney Cox it on that platform only to leave her stranded by herself dancing like a douche? LOVED IT! See ya Paula. He just left her there! I was dying!

Anyway, back to Kat! They did need to rearrange the order of those songs. Each contestants middle song was just so much better than their last. Fact. Kat's rendition of "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" was FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC! It was that "moment" we've been waiting for from her. I was on the edge of my seat for that performance, nervous with anticipation, hoping she wouldn't choke because it was just so perfect and I wanted her to have that moment! And ya know what? She nailed it! Unreal. Is it enough to keep her another week? I hope so. My one phone vote and my one text vote I'm sure put her over the top. But just to oppose me, Jon voted twice for Taylor. Nothing wrong with a friendly competition between lovers.

Tell us your thoughts on the final three, who the final two should be, and who will win!

VERONICA MARS LIVES! Season 3 is a go!

Dawn Ostroff just dodged a bullet with this one. Michael Ausiello just got an email from Rob Thomas that confirms that "Veronica Mars" has been picked up for Season 3 over on The CW!

From The Ausiello Report!

Straight from the horse's mouth, Rob Thomas just e-mailed me to confirm
that Veronica Mars has been renewed for a third season. The show got a
22-episode order that, depending on ratings, can be reduced to 13. Very reliable
sources, meanwhile, are also telling me that One Tree Hill will be back and that
Everwood is, in fact, dead. Talk about injustice

Network Upfronts: Changings They Are a Brewin'

So you all read my freakout a little bit ago at The CW rumors - so you know I react quickly and sternly on the decisions network execs make. Hell I wished really bad things on CW Head Dawn Ostroff and we haven't even heard anything official from her yet. Imagine what that will bring on Thursday (besides a flamin' pile of shit on her doorstep).

So, NBC was Monday, ABC Tuesday. Here are the changes that effect my world.

Over on NBC they are moving "The Office" (finale recap) to Thursday at 8:30 which puts it up against CBS's "Survivor" but keeps it away from ABC's announced move of "Grey's Anatomy" (for recap of last night's finale click here) to Thursday's at 9. I'm hoping that when CBS releases their schedule that my beloved "Without a Trace" won't be messed with! That could make for quite the night of television! Going from "Grey's" to "WaT" sweet!

New NBC shows I'm interested in: "Heroes" (Monday's at 9pm which if rumors are true is fine because "Everwood" won't be on so that frees me up) and "Kidnapped". I just love the idea of ordinary folks like Greg Grunberg being superheroes and I also like the concept of following a kidnapping for a whole season. A lot goes on in planning one of those things, I mean in solving one of those things. I wouldn't know anything about planning one, I swear.

ABC's shocking announcement was that "Desperate Housewives" was still going to be on the air. I thought for sure noone was watching that piece of shit anymore but apparently someone is. Maybe I could leave a tape of "DH" on Dawn Ostroff's door come Thursday - it's all shit folks. "Lost" stays put and "Grey's" I already told you about. I am intrigued by "Six Degrees" which will air right after "Grey's" - could be good.


For more on the network upfronts, head on over to TVGuide - they have quite the rundown going (with tv grid and all).

Everwood's Been Rockin' & Pill Poppin'

So, it's no secret that the now defunct "Everwood" in its 4th season is one of my favorite shows on television. It continues to get stronger and stronger each week and season. From Colin's death to Hannah's heartbreak "Everwood" has remained a consistent and powerful dramatic presence on my flatscreen! I don't write about it enough because I often can't watch it until Tuesday morning or really late Monday night and by that point I'm spent. Here are some thoughts on the most recent two episodes: "All The Lonely People" and "Enjoy the Ride."

"Enjoy The Ride" (aired May 15, 2006)
It's quote night in that sleepy town of "Everwood" again! Why waste any time...

Amy: "Are you listening to Sarah McLachlan?"
Bright: "Shut It!"


Amy: "Isn't being there for him (Reid) the Christian thing to do?"
Hannah: "Oh please, you know... if he accomplished what he set out to do, he'd be on his way to *whispers* H-E-double hockey sticks right now. It's a sin remember. So don't even try to bring Jesus into this!"


Reid: "I really feel like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz right now."
Ephram: "And you wonder why we always think you're gay!"


Over all a pretty damn good episode but I kept wondering when Bright was going to fly through that glass window. Then when the episode was over I realized that The WB showed the wrong week preview at the end of last week's episode. Tards. I'm not complaining because they've been talking up a death for months now and if this is forshadowing I want no part in it. I can wait. (subliminal: don't kill bright, don't kill bright)

When did Amy Abbott become the stable one in the family? She's been the most on top of her emotions and her world lately. I like sane and stable Amy Abbott, I miss her. No more college Amy Abbott she's icky.

Rose and Harold really had me teary this week. Their avoidance of each other and then Harold's final declaration of longing to her just had me weepy. I love them! I don't want Rose to die either, just throwing that out there.

Hannah and Bright continues to bother me to no end. I love them together, I love them apart, I just love the two of them. Bright is really in a funk and I do not see him coming out of it. He is suffering so bad (and he should) and he just wants to be able to feel right again with her. The blind date that Amy set up - though innocent is obviously going to push Bright over the edge. Fragile Bright is a wonderful addition this year. Who knew years ago he could be this person? I love him. And Hannah? Forget about it, she once again pulls off a power performance tonight. Sarah Drew, I worship the ground you walk on!

Thank god Delia realized that that Talia girl is the devil. Her Mother, sorry Sweater Set? Wow! Nina, going attack mode on the Mother? AMAZING! Go Nina! And once again, Nina and Andy have this amazing unspoken connection. It's really a tribute to the acting because these two really make it seem effortless and real. She didn't even have to say that she couldn't help with Delia's BatMitzvah anymore because of Jake... she just needed to look at him and he got it. That's incredible! Where's Sarah Purcell when you need her?

Wow, Justin Kirk is on "Everwood" and his storyline is horribly depressing. But look, its Justin Kirk everyone!

Grade A episode.



"All The Lonely People" (aired May 8, 2006)
Reid tries to kill himself. So? Have we done enough with Reid this season to warrant the shedding of tears? No, but this episode had many other great things happening!

Ephram continues his savior complex that's been building all season. Now we know it stems from not being able to fill that void in his life left after Madison gave their lovechild up and rightfully so. Kids having Kids... Anyhow, Ephram finds Reid on the floor and continues for the next 40 minutes to punish himself for not being able to help him and not reading the warning signs of his depression. A little trite but overall believable. He took on Kyle's problems in the same manner. Ephram needs some alone time and self centering so off to NYC he goes (and Amy drove him to the bus which was a really nice interaction - reminded me of old days). Oh and while we're on it. Why does he seem to take the bus to NYC each year? Seriously, the bus from Colorado to NYC must take a week. That's sucky even with an iPod. Oh god, the creatures you meet on a bus.

Bright and Dr. Abbott have some amazing personal scenes together! The first time in forever. The first zinger out of their time spent together had me rolling:

Bright: "Maybe its a viral thing, like an epidermis."
Dr. Abbott: "Epidemic... Why do I even bother?"


Also had me rolling was Nina's reaction to Sam's lice problem:

Andy: "Nina, you don't have a Pantene problem; you have a lice problem!"
Nina: "Oh my god. I'm the worst Mother in the world. I'm gonna go to jail..."

Oh, Nina just keeps getting better and better! I love how her and Andy's interaction now always has this tinge of sexual frustration. Their bed scene, after Nina has showered and showered was amazing! They were able to walk a fine line between cliched lines and over sentimentalizing. It seemed like in that moment she had realized that she needs to move on from Jake. That was until Dr. Dimples came back home ready and emotionally available to move on. Damn Dr. Dimples! How dare you finally be ready for the greatness that is Nina!


"Everwood" if its true you are leaving us for good I will be sad but content in knowing you had a great 4 years and that I was moved by your show. Greg Berlanti and Rina Mimoun you've done an amazing job with this small town show that always gave you plenty of teen angst and love while still being able to showcase the adults in the group. Amazing! Now be warned, if you kill Bright I will not be pleased and I will in fact take back every word I just wrote.

CW Rumors Enrage Me!

Rumor has it that the CW will announce the cancellation of the incredible and way underrated "Everwood" on Thursday. This pisses me off beyond belief. Are they blind? Do they not know how dedicated people are to Amy and Ephram, Bright and Hannah, Andy and Nina, Harold and Rose, Irv and Edna? We've invested 4 years of our lives into this small town and now the CW is thinking of offing it and in the process resurrecting some holy roller shit like "7th Heaven"? It's almost enough to send a man over...


What's this? They are probably only going to offer "Veronica Mars" a 13 episode order? Come on now. Sure it's good news, kinda. It better be with an option for the final back 9 if it does well. This is ridiculous.


Hey Dawn Ostroff, hope it dries up and falls out.